Making myself a case

[saintric]

Hi I have been looking over the Internet to help with my symptoms, mainly involving health websites.

I have joined here because maybe I can get myself some help! and it
seems a good place to talk about things, hopefully by posting my situation It can help others or myself to understand what they are going through.This will be a long post but It will hopefully unlock some answers for us all.

I am 25 yrs old non smoking non drinker (due to worry's about my health)
I have always been highly strung meaning I feel my emotions strongly and intensely, also i am very sensitive. From the age of 15 to 21 i smoked cannabis heavily but at some point I started to get out of breath and have palpitations and panicking I was having a heart attack.

I must have gone to hospital and the doctors so many times only to be told im fine. Of course all this made me stop smoking it but I still suffered the attacks and pains.

Then they only happened sporadically and rarely but I started to suffer very strange headaches some felt like migraines and some felt like pressure with pain all this causing me to think I had a brain Tumour. I tried many medications of pain relief then I had an MRI scan in 2004 that came back normal (except an unknown inflammation of the sinus's which I will explain later)
So for the next 2 years I pretty much lived a ''normal'' life with mild attacks, pains and sensations.I got married last year to my wife who of course knew nothing about my past attacks and up until the last few months I was OK as in still suffering but it was just bearable.

Now around March of this year it started to go wrong it started with random body pains that felt strange and scary and to be honest they feel like they are getting worse.I am convinced because of the way I feel pyschically IM convinced Im going to die very soon from somthing undetected by the Doctors, this makes me cry and breakdown now to my wife because of the way im feeling its so bad like im dying.Here is a list of the symptoms I have and what they cause me to think.During this last 4 months or so I have rushed my self to hospital during feeling this and have been told im ok the only thing doctors have come up with is I have mildly high Creatinine levels but they never acted on them so It seems they are not a major issue.


MY SYMPTOMS

Muscle spasms,Dead legs,Leg pains all over, strange random uneven pulsing in my left calf that is my worst one it makes my think its a clot-THIS CAUSES ME TO THINK I HAVE A BLOOD CLOT IN MY LEG OR DVT

Shooting chest pains,dull chest aches,pain upon breathing in deeply on some occasions,abdominal pain,pain in my sides, penis pain, a pain thats constant in my chest a small area on the right of my breastbone this is where I think I have a clot aswell and is ''sometimes'' tender to touch although I touch and feel it alot,a painless pulsing spasm inside my upper body (torso area) that is scary like somthings inside me thats bubbling about,arm pains, finger pains, Lump feeling that is CONSTANT beginning at the bottom of my front neck area like I have something stuck, pain under armpits,a very constant sharp pain in my neck mostly right sided from top to bottom that makes me feel sick and scared,a pain like the pipe from my mouth to my gut is being pulled at and it feels like a stabbing pain, sharp shooting head pains,headaches, scalp pains, twitching eyes,facial spasms,cold pains,tingling,dull head pains, ear aches, strange feeling like my brains shutting down.THE MAIN FEAR IS I AM CONVINCED I HAVE A PULMONARY EMBOLISM IN MY CHEST THATS GOING TO BURST AND KILL ME, OR MY CIRCULATION IS BAD AND CAUSING ME TO HAVE NECK PAINS AS ITS STRUGGLING TO CIRCULATE TO MY BRAIN.

MY TESTS AND TREATMENTS

2003- chest x-ray fine 2004 - MRI scan fine except polyp in sinus currently being investigated 2007- 5 blood tests all fine (except reports of high creatinin)
chest x-ray fine, 3 x ECG all fine (these tests mostly been done while rushing myself to hospital convinced Im about to die)

My Dr has just given me anti d's but i am convinced I have something medically wrong and this is bringing on my anxiety not my anxiety bringing on the symptoms.Surely there must be something going on inside my body for it to be making me suffer this bad? I was crying tonight to my wife about how this is ruining my life Im scared to play football incase I die on the pitch like the recent Antonio Puerta did.I am scared of making my Wife and new born child sad if i pass away and them feeling sad for me.Yet I cannot convince myself this is just anxiety Its like i want a full body scan and hard evidence for me to accept it.Yet I cannot go see my Doctors no more as I haven't taken the pills he give me for depression and anxiety as i feel this wont stop the pyschical pain!!!

I have been to the doctors so much lately they look at the record on the computer and just think ''this guys a hypercondriact'' and will just par me off and not listen because I have been there every week asking for help
I dont feel normal no more definalty not pyschically normal. I want my life back it upsets me to read peoples experiences on here and it makes me cry some people have no one to turn to.First time I came hear I burst into tears at a guys story about how he gets anxious only at night time and It made me sad thinking of this person suffering and scared on their own at home even now it making me tearful.I cried to the doctor after he told me he wanted to help me because he said he can see it in my eyes that im a good person, I so wanted him to help me but cried not through sadness I think I cried because he didnt want to help me by reffering me to a specialist to test me like i was lying about my pain and sensations i suffer.
I hope people do read this and it makes sense Im trying to fit in so much that I have to say but scared some one will be put off because its long because I truly need advice and help and maybe someone to say if they think Its anxiety or not.Anyone who just read this thank you for taking the time to hear my problems it is very appreciated

Good luck to you all and God bless we will all see a better day

[doingmybest]

Okay, I don't have all the symptoms that you do but I can relate with the feeling that something is going to happen to you and your family will be alone. I had this too after the births of my daughters and I have had periods of bad health anxiety about once a year since. I just get really scared that something is going to happen to me (ie:MS, heart attack, Parkinsons, whatever) and I become obsessed with it. And of course, this creates more symptoms. My doctor is so sick of me and I'm embarrassed about going and having new things wrong with me.

You are not alone. If all of your tests have come back normal, anxiety is definately getting the better of you. I know because I'm right there too. I don't know what else to offer other than it isn't just you and you are not alone. I'll say a prayer for you to have relief. I need it too :)

[dorigen]

Hi Saintric,

I'm so sorry to hear your story. I've been exactly where you are right now, spending hours upon hours researching diseases on the internet, convinced that I had MS or a brain tumor. Doctors never believed me. I too broke down in their offices, and they never listened. I'm sorry you are going through this.

I'm glad you have been to the doctors several times. So far they haven't found anything serious, and I know that can be frustrating, but take it as a relief! If you have anxiety, believe me, you are lucky, because it is treatable.

As for anxiety, your symptoms and story really sound like that's what it is. Accepting this is half the battle.

It sounds like you have fears of being sick and not catching it in time, which I can totally relate to. Weather anxiety caused your physical symptoms, or your physical symptoms cause you tell start feeling anxious, really can't be determined. It's sort of like the chicken and the egg thing. The fact is, your body symptoms and sensations are scaring you, which only ever make you have more body symptoms, stress, and anxiety. So you've created a bad cycle.

I've had all the symptoms you mention. 99% can be explained by anxiety, and those that can't are 99% likely to have a common treatable cause.

You need to break out of this cycle that is causing you all this pain There are some very simple techniques that will hellp you get over it quickly. My best suggestion is to see a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders, and try a few sessions. This will help you get better quickly from my experience.

Otherwise check out self help books and online programs, they help too.

I wish you the best of luck. You will get over this. For now, remember that your symptoms are likely to be anxiety, and that they will not hurt you. Good luck.

[saintric]

Thanks to both of you for you replys they really are appreciated! I really am struggling to accept this is anxiety especially when I have the same symptoms for a week and thinking ''maybe before it was anxiety but now I do have somthing wrong and doctors wont believe me because I have cried wolf to them in their eyes before''

Its such a bad place to be in right now and I do really hope I can get my life back on track and start doing the things I enjoy again.I will definatley look in theraphy maybe it could help me as im not really keen on the idea of anti-depressants.

Still ill keep anyone updated on my progress (or lack of )and will post answers to anyone elses posts that I can give advice to.thanks again

[IWasAnxious]

Thanks to both of you for you replys they really are appreciated! I really am struggling to accept this is anxiety especially when I have the same symptoms for a week and thinking ''maybe before it was anxiety but now I do have somthing wrong and doctors wont believe me because I have cried wolf to them in their eyes before''

Its such a bad place to be in right now and I do really hope I can get my life back on track and start doing the things I enjoy again.I will definatley look in theraphy maybe it could help me as im not really keen on the idea of anti-depressants.

Still ill keep anyone updated on my progress (or lack of )and will post answers to anyone elses posts that I can give advice to.thanks again

I think many people will relate to the struggle to accept very real, terrifying symptoms are 'just anxiety'.

With hindsight I put my first bouts of anxiety aged 16 down to being low with an infection and loaded up on antibiotics. At the time, though, it seemed quite out of the blue. I used to say to the Doctors confusedly, 'But I'm not anxious about anything apart from these symptoms!' as I told them able dizzy spells, feeling like I was on drugs, feeling like things looked distance, 'raygun' nerve pains in my body, tingling, numbness.

'How is this anxiety?', I thought, 'Anxiety is being nervous over an exam not feeling like you're about to collapse on the spot and possibly die!'

I thought i was having small strokes! Even after I was open to believing I had anxiety, I still thought, 'But what if something's been missed?' Now I've been labelled an anxiety case now everything going to be blamed on that!

'Anxiety' seems pretty useless word for our problems sometimes. Everyone feels 'anxious' to a greater or lesser extent. We don't all experience symptoms that quite accurately mimic strokes!