MetalMan
06-18-2013, 10:24 AM
Last night I decided to go out for a night ride. There's a restaurant literally right around the corner from my new house, and I decided I would go over there and get a job application. I figure that working somewhere close by might help with the agoraphobia, and at the very least, help me make some money. Worst case scenario, I "can't" work the job and just have to quit. I also got an application for Dunks. Anyway, I went for this night ride all alone, as I have been trying to get myself out of the house alone at least one a day for at least 30 minutes or so. At one point I think I was at least half to 3/4 of a mile away from my house and was doing pretty well in the car jamming to my music. I found that when I was behind a couple red lights though, my anxiety began to quickly creep up on me. I don't why those trigger my anxiety when I drive. Either red lights or traffic. They both bring forth the symptoms. I calmed myself down and got through them. It was night time though. Meaning less cars on the road and less traffic to sit through. Maybe I feel this way because when you're in traffic or behind a set of lights, you can't immediately escape. This trips the anxiety switch in my head I guess... "What if the light never changes???" or "What if this traffic never moves???" That's gotta be the internal worry. I used to drive myself to and from work every weekend morning as a 16 year old kid. From a town to a city, and now this... I can't even get through traffic in the day. Fml.