anxious and stressed

[malty]

Hi all, I'm new.


Just come back to work after being signed off with stress and anxiety for 2 weeks. I'm now on a phased return.

It started when my assistant resigned and I began to realise just how much knowledge she had and how screwed we are without her. I constantly think I can't do everything without her. I know I can't and I also know that many things will go wrong and the pressure won't go away. In fact it will get worse. I know I won't be able to do things and I know that will cause problems and I will be to blame. Obviously the consequences of this scare me. But I think what's worse is the feeling of helplessness about it all.

I am now telling myself to fight. To stop thinking negatively all the time and to start fighting and believing in myself. Also to celebrate the small successes. It can work for a while, but quickly I can be back to square one.

night time is worse. I can't sleep. I even feel anxious through nothing. I'm on the point of dropping off and my body seems to suddenly become anxious, from nothing. Then I start thinking about work, despite trying not to and I get anxious again. If I get into that place, then I can get pretty low about it.

I'm on her just to have some people to share this with and also to feel better that I'm not suffering alone.

[shaikhrahuf]

Malty,
I can understand ur concern, ur assistant has left might b he/she has better scope around there, bt y u hv to worry ask ir company to arrange another assistant for u, eventually wotk pressure will build up on u as all work would be completed by u, make a work list and one by one complete d task and make urself understand that i can do it, if u get stressed leave ur desk for 10 mins and juz sit on ur chair roll over all work.. thats wht happened 4 yrs back wid me, hopefully ur boss shuld b supportive and should understand..
Not a big issue leave ur office problems at office dnt take them home...

[JennJenn]

Well, I kind of have a situation like you that has me super stressed. I too have a very stressful job and requires a lot of my time and a lot of responsibility. The difference with me is we cannot get the business out of the hole. I worry I may lose my job because the business may go under. I have been here 13 years and I don't know what life would be without my job. Like you without your assistant. I don't like change and I constantly worry about it. My job has a lot of negativity because of the added stress of trying to stay above water. No one here understands anxiety and I feel embarrassed to even say anything about it. I just want my life to go back. I speak to a therapist and I have been fine for 3 weeks and BAM it hit yesterday when I took a day off work for me time. Do you ever have issues when you take off work stressing how they are doing without you? I know I am supposed to leave my job at the office but it is so hard when you have people depending on you so much.

[shaikhrahuf]

Jen,
U hv taken off but u were constantly worrying abt ur work.. that triggerwd ur attack, remember if u loose this job u will get more better than this, god has brought u in d world and he is d onky one who will feed u, so keep d flow and stop stressing urself..

[JennJenn]

Jen,
U hv taken off but u were constantly worrying abt ur work.. that triggerwd ur attack, remember if u loose this job u will get more better than this, god has brought u in d world and he is d onky one who will feed u, so keep d flow and stop stressing urself..

I agree! I really felt that I wasn't worried about it too much yesterday but i guess I was in the back of my mind. i have a vacation booked and paid for in August and I am freaking out that if I cannot handle taking one day how will I handle a week?

[shaikhrahuf]

I agree! I really felt that I wasn't worried about it too much yesterday but i guess I was in the back of my mind. i have a vacation booked and paid for in August and I am freaking out that if I cannot handle taking one day how will I handle a week?

Jen,
Y r u freaking out for no reason, its ur holiday time take off all ur stress and juz enjoy and relax, no one is going to harm u, what will b d worst scenario that u will loose ur job, ask urself u r nt that literate that u wont find another job? Think positive no one dies of empty stomach god has made every creature on this planet whom he has assigned his food and living, pray 2 times a day sit in front of god and pour everything out, i would like to give u my example..
I would freak out when my frnds would call me for outing for a day long, i use to melt down, thinking what will happen on d trip also i would fear what if something happened on d way, i use to fight with my sick brain and ask my brain do whatever u want, at last i would be in ER not more than that.. remember anxiety will never make u die.. fight that fucking shit out of head and enjoy the present..

[malty]

Ok guys, so I'm back here again. Selfish of me to stick my problems on here, but I guess that's what the forum is for. I got signed back to work today, but tonight found myself going back to work to do extra. When I say extra, I was doing things that I felt needed to be done and that the directors did too, but I guess in retrospect I could have left it. My poor wife was livid, saying I'm just doing what I did before. She's right of course. Now I can't sleep and I know that the pressure will mount over the next few days and I'll have to answer some impossible questions, to which I just don't have the answers. I really feel that I can't do this job. I'm not sure anyone can, I guess there will be people out there who could eventually do it ok. But its making me feel incompetent. Having said that I need the income and can't afford to just chuck it in. I'm also going to lose my wife's support. She's been very good to me over the last few weeks, but she'll run out of patience soon enough and I don't blame her.

Arrrrrgh!!!

[malty]

So I'm back here again. I expected things to go wrong and they have. Without my assistant, things are falling apart, despite getting in a replacement. Obviously things are being done, but errors have been made which I gave not spotted and this means that I am in the spotlight. I just feel like a failure and like I want to quit. I know it's drastic, but I just can't see that I can continue doing what I'm doing ... and failing at it!

I can't sleep and I can't stop stressing. Bizarrely last week I was doing really well! This week, back to awful again!!!!

Arrrrgh.

Any advice gratefully received. Should I quit my job???

[malty]

Ok, things are worse now unfortunately. I was feeling so bad this week that I couldn't go in to work on Thursday. I went back to the drs and got signed off. However, I then talked to my manager. The advice he kind of gave was that if I go off the chances are I won't be able to come back.evidently the time off work would look bad from a perspective of future jobs. So my alternative is to resign and work through my notice period. So that's what I am doing. I have already asked my dr to sign me back.

I see this as a negative and a positive. The positive is that it is work that is causing me to feel anxious. So leaving will help me sort that out. The negative is obviously I won't be earning money and I have kids to feed and mortgages to pay. Basically I've got myself into a bit of a mess and I'm still struggling to deal with the pressures of it all. I am now taking temazepan to help me sleep and I've just taken some kalms to calm me down a bit. Not sure If I should be mixing these or not???

What a mess!! Any advice, help etc. Would be gratefully received.

The actions I am taking are to seek out a new job. I've already brushed up my cv, sent it to agencies and made some old contacts. I obviously have the tablets to help me sleep, but I've only used one so far and I intend to use them every other day. I have also bought a new suit for interviews!! Next steps are to try and get through Monday at work, which will be embarrassing and stressful, try and knock off a few of the work things that need doing, then get on to some of the agencies I've been contacting to see what they have for me.