First thread for me!

[Sfinkxx]

Hey all! I am Stephanie. I have only been living with anxiety and panic for a little under two years (but it feels like a lifetime). It all started with the unbalanced "on a boat" feeling. Like my legs weren't stable. I saw an ENT had MRIs blood tests, eye test, you name it. Last summer it went from balance to sheer fear and certainty that it was my heart and for a solid year now not a day goes by that I don't feel some sort or pain or discomfort in my chest. I have seen the cardiologist twice to no avail. It's hard to convince myself that it's just anxiety when I have had two family members on my fathers side pass away very young with no determining cause found in their autopsy. I live everyday thinking "I'm next, it's definitely going to happen to me". I still work and do "normal" things I just am always in my own head thinking "am I about to die?"

[Saldav]

Anxiety sucks bigtime, but not to worry you at all, death is something that we can't hide from, it's eventually going to happen. I've been suffering from major anxiety and depression for almost 13 years. I fucken hate it! But I've learned through out the years that the more you worry about dying the more your brain is going to react causing more anxiety. I know its hard and overwhelming, but trust your doctors when they say your fine. I believe in god, so I give him my worries, and I know I'm in his hands. Idk if your religious or not. But I always say that god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. My name is sal I hope I was of any help. I'm here as well as everyone on this forum for your support. :)

[Sfinkxx]

Thank for your reply Saldav! I definitely agree about the more I think about it, the worse of I am! Sometimes I can go weeks without having any panic and hardly think about it. But web I do think about it, boy, is it overwhelming. I have recently considered Genetic testing to rule out any seriously diseases and/or conditions that I could have possibly inherited from my family members that have unexpectedly passed. Though sometimes I'd rather not know if I do have something in my DNA. I have been fighting my panic without the help of any drugs and I rarely drink. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I pray often though I don't think I am praying at the right times. I need to work on praying everyday, and not just when I feel weak and need help. I haven't been to church in quite some time. I am spiritual but I don't have a specific denomination.

[acetone]

The "on the boat" feeling used to be my main symptom of anxiety. It is gone now thanks to zoloft and benzodiazepines.

[geglilsis]

I was in a horrible roll over car accident and almost lost my brother and his best friend in 2004. The anxiety started in 2006 I used to just have to pull over on the side of the road and have someone pick me up when I was driving, I was fine after I was safe and someone else was driving. The panic was so bad i didnt want to go to work, my heart would race, i felt like i was going to fall down and pass out, i felt like my nerves have taken over my body. Over the yrs I have tried 9 or 10 different meds did well on Prestiq but could not afford it when medical dropped prescription drugs. I tried to bury it in alcohol for a few years and started blacking out after one drink. Quit drinking last September, it helped for a while then was in a second car accident a few weeks back. My chest hurts, I'm dizzy, I am scared to go to the mall, grocery store, or even a walk to far from the house. I have been to the doctor four times, the ER once and nothing was found. I can't eat solid foods my GERD heart burn was out of control. I have a appointment Monday for a MRI hope they find something to get rid of the pain, which then I can eat and the anxiety will subside in hopes....

[geglilsis]

Don't give up it does come and go... I just wish I was on the go stage right now!!

[Walking Circles]

Hello and welcome.

Anxiety sucks and can cause all sorts of physical symptoms that in turn make the anxiety worse, thus starting a spiral. However it is something we can take control of, if you are open to it I really recommend meditation, particularly something called mindfulness meditation. It has helped me quite a bit.

[geglilsis]

I will look that up I'm open to anything at this point hypnosis helps me a ton!

[Walking Circles]

I have heard good things about hypnosis from several people, may be worth looking into.

Starting meditation I would recommend a book http://www.amazon.com/The-Miracle-Mindfulness-Introduction-Meditation/dp/0807012394. I would also recommend a book called Peace is Every Step by the same author, both were very helpful to me.

[geglilsis]

Thank you so much, I download the apps on my phone they are free and the anxiety and PTSD and sleep sound work wonders I leave the run all night sometime but the really knock me out. Sleep is the only time I feel good right now :( my days are so painful right now. My poor son hates it I'm a single mom and all he has so when I'm not well he suffers greatly! I have something going on physically right now but it is really triggering my anxiety... I want to knock myself out but I also need to be a mother.... It is in gods hands