Help with overthinking?

[princesspink]

I have searched all the symptoms of anxiety/racing mind and what everyone is going through and how they are treating their problems, but I can't find anything similar to my "issues". Maybe you guys can help me understand what it is I am going through....

I do not feel like I have anxiety, but more like a racing mind about....well, everything in my life....my husband, our home, my job, my hobbies, my exercise, my friends, my family.....ugh And not even really a racing mind, but a tendency to really overthink and overanalyze. I don't have any physical effects from this, but when something is not going the way I want it to in my life, it brings me totally down....I tend to overthink it way too much and can't stop. Almost like I have to fix it. Like I can't ever get over it and just rethink and rephrase it 400 different ways....and then I bring my husband down with me when I try to explain my problem to him. He is so patient and level-headed making me feel even more crazy. I search and search for an answer to my overthinking and end up blaming things that maybe aren't even the reason, but I just want to find a REASON. I am a "fixer" and help others out with issues, but can't fix my own.

I have gone through this before and it fixed itself or else just went away. And it usually lasts a weekend.

Why do I do this? Am I normal, or just overthinking too much? If so, how can I stop? Do I need to meditate maybe and chill out? I consider myself very normal, but have one of these breakdowns about 2 times every year. It might also be from all the things that I tend to take on, just builds up on me and it's normal to breakdown like this? I have no kids, but planning and definitely don't want to be like this as a mom, where I feel overwhelmed and am driving myself crazy thinking about stuff.

Thanks for any suggestions or help.

[looloo]

generalized anxiety disorder maybe, compulsivity perhaps, but i think the racing is anxiety.
i hope you have some help even short term. or continue to post as well.
i find the mind body connection is important--healthy food/exercise, supplements, esp. fish oil, b complex, etc.
with ocd, its important to be aware of control issues, fears--journal, write down everything. awareness can diffuse soe of the anxiety.cognitive therapy might be of use.
but its helpful to even join a group with these concerns. or perhaps online
communities if you cannot get to a therapist.
most of my family has some form of ocd--from order freakness, to gambling, to pack ratism--hopefully you don't have these. my own form is door checking, health hypochondria, but i try to channel this vigilance into wellness and positive preparedness. its a fine line, but at least i am not a pack rat or shopaholic.
best of luck.

[RichB]

I think for all of us what you describe is the ultimate source of our anxiety. It's not that we're anxious about chest pain per se, it's that we get anxious about being anxious about the chest pain which makes the chest pain worse and is what caused it to begin with. It's very cyclical and the cycle feeds itself. Breaking that cycle is the key to recovery.

Rich

[CallMeCrazy]

I have anxiety disorder and constantly think about things that do and don't matter. I find myself thinking obsessively about my truck, exercise, dying, feeling like this forever. I know how you feel.

[Mister]

As a part of my therapy I've been encouraged to actually focus on my thoughts, and spend time thinking about them :shock:

Part of this is to identify negative thoughts (which I have a huge problems with) and reason those thoughts out before dismissing them. My therapist has told me that although this thought process challenge is at the forefront of my mind 24/7 right now, it will become an subconscious process in time.

It also helps me to dismiss destructive thoughts, free my mind from worrying about things I have no control over and focus my mind on things that actually matter.

It may be helpful to you to write down a couple of these things that you spend a lot of time concerning yourself with, then think about the content of them, the real reasons why you're thinking of them, what part of it can be justified and reasons why they would not be.

It's certainly helping me :)

[princesspink]

Hi everyone - thank you for the replies. Well, since the first day that I wrote this, I am feeling much better. And...that is how it goes. I just get sad about something for 2-3 days and then I'm fine, happy, normal again, my husband loves me and everything is better. I get cranky that I do this, but I do. I definitely don't think I have anxiety because I am very level headed normally, but the 2 times a year that I do this is when I do think I have anxiety. Does that make sense?

Mister - your suggestions helped me a lot and most relate to my issue. AND I tivoed an Oprah show that almost perfectly fit my situation about happiness - so I learned a lot from that show. I am not depressed, but like I said earlier, and ended up being in the medium scale of being "happy". I think I just have a tendency to overthink everything in my life when one tiny thing goes wrong and I really shouldn't do that. I even tend to overthink the past choices I have made (I've been through a lot). I do everything possible in my life to be healthy - am an avid athlete, exerciser, lift weights, eat healthy, take multi's and fish oils, etc. etc. I love my life and have a GREAT job too. I just need to start thinking about the NOW more and focus my energy on more positive things and people.

I am getting a journal and writing down some of my feelings when I get this way and what I can do to dismiss those destructive thoughts like you said and free my mind like you said Mister...AND it really helped me to post here. I hope someone has the same feelings that I do so it can help them too.

[Robbed]

As a part of my therapy I've been encouraged to actually focus on my thoughts, and spend time thinking about them :shock:

Part of this is to identify negative thoughts (which I have a huge problems with) and reason those thoughts out before dismissing them. My therapist has told me that although this thought process challenge is at the forefront of my mind 24/7 right now, it will become an subconscious process in time.

It also helps me to dismiss destructive thoughts, free my mind from worrying about things I have no control over and focus my mind on things that actually matter.

It may be helpful to you to write down a couple of these things that you spend a lot of time concerning yourself with, then think about the content of them, the real reasons why you're thinking of them, what part of it can be justified and reasons why they would not be.

It's certainly helping me :)

It sounds like, as is the case with MANY therapists, you are being treated with traditional CBT. All I have to say is that this can cause problems for MANY people with anxiety. And it is often not the best type of treatment to receive. And even if it IS helpful, it is certainly not the ONLY treatment that should be received.

Perhaps the BIGGEST problem I have found with traditional CBT is that it says that any feelings of anxiety that you feel MUST have been preceeded by some sort of negative thought. This is NOT ALWAYS the case. One of the characteristics of an anxiety state is that it can produce its own feelings of anxiety, panic, and depression without provocation. And if you are being treated by traditional CBT, you can REALLY stress yourself out trying to figure out what negtive thought you could have POSSIBLY been thinking in order to make you feel anxious. Furthermore, if the thought immediately preceeding the bad feelings was something simple like thinking about getting a glass of juice, traditional CBT can make you sit there and spin your wheels like crazy trying to figure out what negative meaning lies under that perfectly innocent thought. The result of all this? More stress, and, therefore, more anxiety.

The other problem with traditional CBT lies in the treatment of those senseless, racing or obsessive thoughts. These sorts of thoughts are VERY common among anxiety sufferers. And they are, once again, the result of the anxiety state. The erratic nature of an anxious brain is responsible for runaway thoughts. And your overly fearful reaction to normal, spontaneous thoughts during anxiety disorder is the cause of obsessions during anxiety disorder. Because these thoughts are so senseless, and because engaging them by trying to 'replace' them with positive thoughts tends to escalate the situation, traditional CBT fails here as well.

So how should these situations be dealt with? By not reacting to them with fear, not trying to suppress them, and letting them pass. As the anxiety state reduces, so will spontaneous anxiety, panic, and depression. Erratic thoughts will also be reduced. And without fear to cause your brain to focus on obsessive thoughts, these will also be largely reduced, if not eliminated. Keep in mind that obsessive thoughts are actually normal. Fear of them isn't. Yes, traditional CBT has its place in the treatment of anxiety. If you tend to be a chronic worrier about stuff like paying the bills or whether someone has died because they are late, then it is certainly VERY helpful to replace these thoughts with more positive ones. But for spontaneous anxiety and strange/obsessive thoughts, it is better to not try to analyze or engage them. Also, if you find that you are having a hard ime trying to ferret out a negative thought that COULD be resposible for feelings of anxiety, it might be better to just calmly ride out the feeling instead.

[Mister]

Hi Robbed.

I agree, this process that I'm using is traditional CBT, but in my case in regards to this particular issue, I'm luckily finding it very useful. However, this is only a small part of my therapy as I have a number of other issues that I'm tackling with the help of my therapist... I only used this example as it seemed appropriate to pinkprincess' post.

Don't worry tho, I'm not solely relying on this, and in addition to that I do a lot of research into my issues myself :)

[princesspink]

Thanks Robbed - Because this is a rare problem for me, (where my mind races and I overthink way too much)....for me it seems easy to identify my negative thought. Some argument with friends/husband or I made a stupid choice always tends to bring this on. These racing thoughts really only happen when something negative happens to me....so when I overthink other negative things that don't necessarily relate it's easy why I reach for them as well. It's seems like a thunderstorm - here comes the clouds, then the lightning, then the wind and finally the rain. Then one-two days later I am normal again and feel embarrassed for thinking the way I was.

I definitely love your advice though of letting the anxiety state reduce itself and not be so fearful of my normality if this happens again. Even my husband talks to me and asks why I posted on here..."your not crazy or even have anxiety." I just tell him that I'm trying to figure my thoughts out and it helps to get advice like this and maybe just talking to him is not helping me. Normally, anyways, I tend to overthink and overanalyze stuff anyways - my job also is very stressful and requires a lot of analyzing in my constant decisions - so maybe it's just how I am. I just need to not be scared of them and realize that it's me and they will ease themselves gone much faster!

Thanks!

[abcdefghix]

Princess,

From what you describe, you seem to have a type A personality. You like control, order, rationality, predictability, and so on and when things are missing in your life, you start to feel anxious and so your mind naturally starts to race.

Your experiences in this respect are extremely common among the general public--you are not a special snowflake!

Some quick advice for you:

1) Defusion -- when your mind starts to race, gently try to back off for a second and just watch the racing thoughts as they come and go. After all, thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to make them into anything more than that.

An analogy might help here. Have you ever been with a spoiled child that won't stop crying or screaming? Contrary to your instincts, the best thing you can do is to just let the child cry and scream, and gently try to not get sucked in by what the child is saying. You may have to hear the child's voice, but you don't have to bother yourself with the message. If you leave the situation alone, the child will eventually get tired and shut up.

The situation is no different with the mind. When it starts to get agitated, let it get agitated. You may have to hear the mental noise, but you don't have to bother yourself with what your thoughts happen to be saying. If you refrain from trying to control or change the situation, your mind will get tired and will shut up.

Now, this takes a lot of practice, so be patient with yourself.

2) Letting Go -- Have you ever put your finger in a chinese finger trap? The harder you pull, the tighter it gets. This is how the mind works. The harder you fight your anxiety and your racing thoughts, the more anxiety and racing thoughts you will experience.

So what you want to do is to just let go of the situation. Don't try to "not be anxious" or "not having a racing mind". Just give up the struggle either way. Que sera sera. Go with the flow. That is the only way to get your finger out of the trap, the only way to untangle yourself from your racing mind.

3) Acceptance -- Everybody experiences bad moods. Everybody has racing minds. These are just facts of life. There is no magic solution that will make them go away. So the best thing that you can do is to just accept. You can't change the way your mind works, so just accept it and move on.

You'll find that if you GENTLY try to employ these three concepts when you get worked up, your concerns will dry up on their own and blow away.

For further reading, I would recommend:

"Minding the Body, Mending the Mind" by Joan Borysenko.

"Full Catastrophe Living" by John Kabat-Zinn.

"Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Steven Hayes.

Best wishes,
--Brian