I can't take it anymore...

[TylerNao]

Hey everyone

I'm new to this Forum and hoping for advice or help :)

So basically i've been feeling weird and exhausted over the past 2 years. I really didnt care and thought it wasnt that big of a deal until this year where everything got worse... I seriously dont knw whats happening with me. Im anxious and stressed the whole time, like literally the whole time ( most of the time for no reason ). My Brain is making me crazy, it cant just SHUT DOWN. Im always worrying non stop and fearing of sth bad will happen, and always thinking what if. Most of the time im thinking negative even when i try to think positive it's not working. And the worst part is that i am losing myself, sometimes i look in the mirror and i dont even knw who this person is. I used to be so confident, outgoing, well dressed and good looking but now its just... cant even describe it. Everything is too much for me, dont even do my hair, i used to style it but now i cant because i get stressed out bec. its not looking like i want it to be or sometimes i dont even wanna dress well bec. im feeling like ****.

I was never like this... I used to love going out, meeting new people and go clubbing but now i dont even get out of my house except for school and work. For me one of the big problems with anxiety is when an upcoming event is coming, like my friend has a birthday party. Lets say he tells me that he is doing a birthday party on Saturday. I will keep thinking the whole time about it even though i knw its not a big deal but then i tell myself, you need to be in a good mood, you need to look good, etc.... From this point on everything goes downhill, i end up feeling like shit, wont sleep at all because i keep worrying the whole time and sometimes i end up getting a panick attack and sometimes i wont attend this event but most of the time i will go but then i wont stay for too long.

On the other hand there are some days where i feel like the normal me again, feeling great, looking great and everything just seems "right". But i realised i always worry that it wont last too long till the next anxiety attack/panic attack comes.

I still didnt talk about it with my doctor but i have an appointement on friday and i will tell her everything. But im scared if she's gonna give me anti depressant...

What do you guys suggest? I really need help because its getting to a point where i cant handle this anymore - mentally and physically. It's making me sick, im not able to enjoy my life. I hate going out when im in this state of mind because its making me uncomfortable. I seriously dont knw what happened to cause all of this shit that im going through right now :(

I realised when i exercise i feel a lot better but it doesnt work always and then i get mad/sad because its not working ... But sometimes it works and im good for 3-4 days but then again my mind starts to go crazy.

Thanks for taking your time for this long post, im sorry =))

-Tyler

[Hannah_28]

You are not alone and have done the right thing in joining this forum I can honestly say that I myself and everyone else here have gone through and felt a variation of everything you have told us about at least you're brave enough to go to your doc that's a massive step you should be proud well done :)

[maria.g]

Hi Tyler

When I read your post I thought of myself and how you describe yourself is exactly the way I am.
I have GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and only got a diagnosis in the last couple years!
Google it and see if you can relate. Have you always been like this or has it just recently been problematic ? I know how you feel - constantly 'thinking' ruminating , comparing, feeling inadequate, over analysing .... It affects everything doesn't it?! I find that depression also hits hard with this and then you don't want to do anything as its all too much.
Having a chat with a doc is a good starting point. Anti depressants do help but take a while to kick in and although they don't 'cure' anxiety, they can help a lot with symptoms. I am waiting to have CBT too so am hoping that will help too!
Introspection is big with what causes your symptoms - being alone in our heads too much. Ahhhhhhh

[TylerNao]

Hi Maria
I can definitely relate to that. I always felt anxious in some situations but that was normal because everybody would feel anxious in those situations (before an exam, seeing someone after a long time, etc...) but this year it's just overwhelming, its too much, i get anxious about every little thing, as u said constantly thinking, over analysing, comparing, ruminating thats exactly whats going on... You dont know how happy i am that im not the only one going through this.
Exactly i find myself depressed after an anxiety attack or panic attack because i automatically think that something is wrong with me or why is this happening to me. Im sure u can relate to those feelings.
I realised that im anxious on weekends too, like wtf? I should be thinking great its finally weekend, going out, bla bla bla but then here we go again with this "constantly thinking" then i tell myself u cant go out like this because u dont feel good, u should stay at home and the confusing part is that i actually like staying at home now i dont knw why... I know its all in my mind but then again i cant control it. It's really destroying me, i end up looking on the Internet for symptoms and im always confused whether it's anxiety or depression but im sure its anxiety because of worrying/fear/cant stop thinking which then leads to depression for me...

[TylerNao]

Thanks a lot Hannah :)
Yeah its about time, i thought i can ignore it but i came to a point where i just cant ...

[Hannah_28]

Only you can take the steps you need to get better :)