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[hopeless]

Hello to you all.
This morning I spoke nastily to my husband because he wanted me to take him to the hospital. Now that sounds really stupid and selfish and that is exactly how he saw it.
What really happened was that he said something about me going to the club near the hospital while I waited for him. The thought of going somewhere in public on my own was what freaked me out.
My husband decided it was too stressful to go to the hospital and would wait until tomorrow and go to the doctor. He is in pain with gout. I would never normally be horrible to anyone, let alone anyone in pain, and let alone my husband.
It happens all the time. I overreact to something that only I am aware of and then people think I am a horrible person.
I have been unable to find any help. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. My earliest terrifying memory is of my first day at school. That was nearly forty years ago.
I don't go out on my own, and spend most time at home with our dogs. My husband does all the shopping because he goes out most days and we live out of town. When I used to have to do the shopping it was hard but I (usually, eventually) did it. Now there is nowhere I have to go so I go nowhere.
Sorry this is long and rambling. There is noone I can talk to.

[Mister]

Hi Hopeless, welcome to the forums.

Does your husband know about your social anxiety? Have you tried talking to him about it?

You may be suprised to find that he has realised that you have this issue, even if you haven't directly talked to him about it.

I think that a lot of people who suffer anxiety have this in one form or another... I freak out about being in groups of people, even just 2 or 3 others, unless it's in a works environment... Which I know sounds a bit strange, since i work in a massive office of over 100 people, but due to my own issues I (for reasons I won't go into here) I view my real life & my work life as 2 totally separate entities.

Is it being with people, or just being out of the house that scares you?

Have you ever spoke to your doc about it, and what help has been ofered to you?

You might find it helps you by talking about it on here? I know my therapy is helping me loads, as I'm talking about my issues its helping me to identify where my problems lie and also what's causing them.. which in turn helps me to face them.

Good luck :)