Anxiety about everything is ruining my life and confidence! Cant stand it !

[sweetmaria]

Hi everyone


My name is Maria, and I am a long term anxiety sufferer and can't seem to overcome the damn thing that makes me so miserable.
I've had it my entire life and I think it's getting worse. I am always thinking the worst. I guess they call it catastrophic thinking.
When I was pregnant ( had a baby a year ago) I was freaking out about the possible birth defects of the baby and thought about such things as cerebral palsy,
Down's, some missing or deformed limbs etc. I was in a panic mode before each ultrasound visit . I was terrified! I did not enjoy my pregnancy and suffered
Most of it because of my paranoid fear and anxiety. The pregnancy itself was just fine. The baby was born just fine and very healthy.
Also when my husband is at work and hasn't called me I always think he got into a terrible car accident and I will be left alone with the baby . Why why do i think these ridiculous thoughts?
Also I have severe hypochondria which can get worse or ease off at times. In the last i convinced myself I had AIDS, and had to get 3 tests to be sure I was OK, then I went through a heart failure phobia, then I was sure I had brain tumor because I had frequent headaches for 2 months. This is driving me absolutely nuts.
After being on maternity leave I was super anxious about going back to work as I was sure I was getting fired. Why was I sure? Because my irrational fears made me convinced that I was.
I am not on meds and don't want to be. I hate my anxiety for making me feel like such a mess. The funny thing is that no one would suspect it because I appear to have everything together.

[Enduronman]

Welcome Maria!

There are many others here that can relate to your fears and as you said irrational anxieties. As hard as I try to empathize with this type of disorder, I can't. I haven't experienced it, so I'm generally of little to no help at all.

I can however say that you've came to the right place to relate to many others.

Have a good day friend!

E-Man. :)

[shaikhrahuf]

Welcome on board Maria..
U can relatw this to generalized anxiety, i am also going thru same phase evwn a single throat infection triggers my anxiety as it seems to be a cancer.. anything i do goes wel but thoughts ruins everything, i cramp in stomach make me feel like my kidneys will fail..
Make urself relax and understand that i will handle it..

[kelliesean]

Hi everyone

My name is Maria, and I am a long term anxiety sufferer and can't seem to overcome the damn thing that makes me so miserable.
I've had it my entire life and I think it's getting worse. I am always thinking the worst. I guess they call it catastrophic thinking.
When I was pregnant ( had a baby a year ago) I was freaking out about the possible birth defects of the baby and thought about such things as cerebral palsy,
Down's, some missing or deformed limbs etc. I was in a panic mode before each ultrasound visit . I was terrified! I did not enjoy my pregnancy and suffered
Most of it because of my paranoid fear and anxiety. The pregnancy itself was just fine. The baby was born just fine and very healthy.
Also when my husband is at work and hasn't called me I always think he got into a terrible car accident and I will be left alone with the baby . Why why do i think these ridiculous thoughts?
Also I have severe hypochondria which can get worse or ease off at times. In the last i convinced myself I had AIDS, and had to get 3 tests to be sure I was OK, then I went through a heart failure phobia, then I was sure I had brain tumor because I had frequent headaches for 2 months. This is driving me absolutely nuts.
After being on maternity leave I was super anxious about going back to work as I was sure I was getting fired. Why was I sure? Because my irrational fears made me convinced that I was.
I am not on meds and don't want to be. I hate my anxiety for making me feel like such a mess. The funny thing is that no one would suspect it because I appear to have everything together.

Hi Maria :)

I know exactly what you are going through. I am the same. I had suffered w terrible obsessions and anxiety since I was about 14.. I'm now 35.,

Anyway I had a breakdown when I was 25.. I had no choice.. I had to take every action that was available to me.. I had gone right over the "edge".. So! I started therapy. And I was a basket case.. Startled by my own damn shadow.. Convinced every breath was my last.. Watching as I was sure my heart wd stop beating..
My dr immediately wanted me to go on lorazepam and Paxil. I was horrified.. And I felt like that wd be me throwing in the towel.. Wimping out.. Taking the pills (bc I DID take them) made me feel defeated.. And like I had lost a battle I should very well have been able to fight and WIN on my own..

But during those beginning very dark months of my recovery. I did stay on those medications. No choice.. Bc I was experiencing anxieties and obsessions that were just too much.. I wd have eaten a cinder block I was so desperate..

I feel like there is a terrible stigma w drugs today., maybe bc they can be and are so easily abused etc..

I'm sorry that I too had that stigma.. Bc maybe if I hadn't I wd have began living a more full life earlier on.

Zoloft changed (i switched fm paxil to zoloft.. but paxil was awesome too :) ) my life so much for the better I cd barely believe it.. It still literally inspires me to spread the word..

I wd suggest trying a med for a year.. You can always come off of it.. But I can tell u that if Zoloft killed me tomorrow.. I am so thankful for it giving me a happier today :)

[Lin]

You will probably find that your hormones are making your anxiety worse at moment. I have had post natal depression many times over past 28 years and now have depression in menopause.
Hormones after a baby take a while to settle down and for some women a very long time and they need meds to help lift them out of it.
So it is perhaps your hormones making your anxiety worse at moment and worth talking to Dr about.

[mid]

I agree, there are times when the use of medication is necessary to preserve our sanity while our hormones have a party on our body. I am on zoloft, and like kelliesean says, it gave me back "me" while I work on managing the fear of even my own shadow, which I do not share with anyone. You're not alone with this. Best wishes.

[sweetmaria]

I am working on myself doing the following: deep relaxation, positive affirmations, and Passion flower or valerian root drops. It does work if I am consistent but
It's not always possible when you are a working mom. I need to stop the negative self-talk and catastrophic thinking so I am working on it. Doesn't always work when I am in a panic mode... I want to be free of anxiety and enjoy my life!
Luke 12:22 ; then Jesus said to his principles ' Therefore i tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or about your body, what you will wear.'