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Anxious Abi
06-06-2013, 10:57 AM
Hey, again, sorry if any of you feel I am posting a bit too much, but yeah, anyway...
I just wondered if anybody could offer a bit of insight, Anxiety has started to emerge as a bit of a problem with several of my family members, my sister and mother have both started to get increasingly anxious, my brother also suffered with Separation Anxiety when he was young, and my Nan has now started to get a lot of Health Anxiety.
A Dr asked my Mum if she had ever thought of it as being a learnt behavior within the family, it makes sense I guess, if my Mum and her Mum never learnt how to cope with stress, then we, as her children also find it difficult to cope with? I think that is what he meant by what he said, i'm not sure.
Ever since then my Mum is worried that our problems with anxiety are her fault, and that she has some how taught us to be this way. She beats herself up, believing she has failed as a parent on some level. I try to reassure her that she has done a great job, but honestly it's made me worry about my future and ever having children, is it something that is easily passed on?
Looking for a bit of perspective.
Abi

NixonRulz
06-06-2013, 01:46 PM
I am not a doctor but I must admit, I know way more than they do. :)

I know there are genetic links to anxiety. The genes can be passed on but that doesn't mean they will have anxiety, just ups the odds a bit.

In my opinion, i think we hear about so many horrible things happening to people and especially kids.

I don't know if things like that happen more often than when I was young or they just get covered by the 24 hour a day news cycle

I think as parents, by no intention, raise our kids to be fearful in general. Not every parent, but most

There is no more leaving the house in the morning and running and roaming all day and coming home for dinner

Those days are over because people think there are horrific accidents bad people looking to harm their kids around every corner

So I believe the tendency has been to be over protective of our kids and they begin to feel your fears

I can be the same way but I do try and let the kids run a bit and get some independence. It has gotten somewhat easier as I see them earn a little more trust

So I am not sure of the answer to your question, as good as it is

I believe heredity comes into play. I also believe how we raise our kids come into play.

If you have both things working against you, your odds are pretty damn high

Great question.

Cobra
06-06-2013, 06:59 PM
I think it can be. I know my parents were very overprotective, to the point of saying "now stop that running before you give yourself a heart attack". Now I have... Taddah... Heart anxiety. But I also think some of it is the media. All you ever see on tv and the Internet is bad news, health scare articles, crime, the latest deadly kids toy, disease. They turn the world into a deadly theme park because its good for ratings, but its awful for your anxiety. I limit my time on the Internet and tv shows because it is all just so negative and scare mongery. Heck, just the side effects disclaimer on drug commercials can make your stomach knot up. I would bet the rise in anxiety related disorders coincides very neatly with the rise in media consumption in our country.

Lin
06-06-2013, 07:56 PM
Anxious Abi, there is probably something in children picking up anxiety from parents either in genes or from their childhood but it is really sad for your mum to beat herself up about it now, especially if she has always tried to be a good mum to you and your brother.
My son definitely has some of mine and my husband bits of personality, but also there is a lot in him which he has developed on his own. That is why some friends who have two children and brought them up the same way but they act totally different.
I think you should not see it as a bad sign that you will be a bad mum - we all try as good as we can and no-one is perfect, and I am sure you will be the same.