Convoluted Mental Stuff

[conditionoakland]

So while I have frequently obsessed and worried over big issues such as the energy crisis, global warming, the government in general...I am currently entrenched in a state of constant worry over my (believe it or not) thought process. I have not yet shared the depth of this worry with my therapist, but it has already been made pretty obvious through our previous sessions that I am suffering from some sort of anxiety disorder.

What I'm getting at is that somewhere in the past several months I became decently convinced that I had a brain tumor. This was due to the fact that I was suffering from ear pressure, tinnitus, and headaches of a sort I'd never had. I hadn't usually been prone to headaches. So I got to worrying, and of course that made the headaches worse, and then I would enter a sort of brain fog...I couldn't concentrate, I felt disconnected and dizzy. The ear pressure and tinnitus were just a sinus problem that went away, for the most part. I didn't think that I was just suffering from anxiety until months later when I started having panic attacks for no reason. Since then my headaches have increased in frequency, and I event went to the hospital due to brief bout of vertigo that was so bad I could not stand. Luckily, the vertigo has passed, but my headaches have stayed (being on the internet so much does not help, I'm sure)...yet lately something else has become more prevalent.

I can't concentrate or remember as well as I used to. I keep forgetting little things like where I leave various items. Sometimes it's like I'm running on autopilot and will be quite absent minded. My internal monologue is even gummed up - my mind races, and very frequently I'll mix up words. I've taken to being extremely self-aware of my thought process, which only seems to make things worse. Yet even when I feel mostly relaxed and distracted I'll mix things up or do something absent mindedly. Also, when I'm reading, I'll find that I frequently misread words or am even skimming - but I catch this as it happens. Oddly enough if I am reading about something anxiety related or if I am making the heinous mistake of Googling my symptoms, I don't have this problem. Also, during conversation I do not seem to have this problem.

Anyone out there ever experience this? The one yoga session I've been to seemed to help for a brief period of time. Often it starts even as soon as I wake up and have not even had time to start worrying about things. Am I just overanalyzing myself or do you think this is something I should look into getting MRIs, CT scan, etc. for?

[blkpitbull]

What I'm getting at is that somewhere in the past several months I became decently convinced that I had a brain tumor. This was due to the fact that I was suffering from ear pressure, tinnitus, and headaches of a sort I'd never had. I hadn't usually been prone to headaches. So I got to worrying, and of course that made the headaches worse, and then I would enter a sort of brain fog...I couldn't concentrate, I felt disconnected and dizzy. The ear pressure and tinnitus were just a sinus problem that went away, for the most part. I didn't think that I was just suffering from anxiety until months later when I started having panic attacks for no reason. Since then my headaches have increased in frequency, and I event went to the hospital due to brief bout of vertigo that was so bad I could not stand. Luckily, the vertigo has passed, but my headaches have stayed (being on the internet so much does not help, I'm sure)...yet lately something else has become more prevalent.

I can't concentrate or remember as well as I used to. I keep forgetting little things like where I leave various items. Sometimes it's like I'm running on autopilot and will be quite absent minded. My internal monologue is even gummed up - my mind races, and very frequently I'll mix up words. I've taken to being extremely self-aware of my thought process, which only seems to make things worse. Yet even when I feel mostly relaxed and distracted I'll mix things up or do something absent mindedly. Also, when I'm reading, I'll find that I frequently misread words or am even skimming - but I catch this as it happens. Oddly enough if I am reading about something anxiety related or if I am making the heinous mistake of Googling my symptoms, I don't have this problem. Also, during conversation I do not seem to have this problem.



Man You described EXACTLY what ive been experencing. What started it for me was a headache that came on instantly and was terrible, and I thought I had a brain tumor or something and couldnt shake the thought. Ended up having my first panic attack that night . Ever since I have struggled with my anxiety.

I also worry about my thought processes. I look out at people and wonder how all them cope and handle it, am I alone. If I google anything anxiety related, it makes it worse, like now typing about it thinking about it is making it start!!

Todd

[Robbed]

Worrying about your thought process is a VERY common symptom of anxiety. Even without an anxiety disorder, being anxieous screws up your thought process. This is why (if you have gone to school) studying the material for a final exam can be SO daunting, yet it all seems so simple after the exam. Of course, your abnormal thought processes in this case don't scare you, because it is something that you (1) expect to happen, and (2) know will go away once the exam has past. Having an anxiety disorder, on the other hand, is more like being in this state for a longer time, and often for no reason that you can easiy connect to having the symptoms. Also, the levels of anxiety (and, thus, confusion) are likely to be higher with an anxiety disorder than in real-life situations.

With this said, having a somwhat screwed up thought process is nothing more than an anxiety symptom. It's not going to screw up your brain. And 'fixing' it is not dependent on somehow trying to unravel this whole 'mess' (which is all just a part of the anxiey state). On the contrary, trying to unravel it will just make things worse. The best thing to do is just simply accept the fact that you can't think straight at the moment and DON'T try to make yourself. If you forget something, don't stress about trying to remember it. This will help to reduce your anxiety in the short term. And in the long term this will help you get over your anxiety disorder. Also remember that by not fighting these problems, they are NOT going to 'take over' and make you go crazy. You just think they will.

So to sum it up, just accept it if you feel foggy or confused. DON'T try to fight it. Remember, you are not going to be able to THINK your way out of anxiety.

[blkpitbull]

Very well said. Thank you!

[conditionoakland]

Wow, Robbed...thank you so much for the insight. That really really does make me feel a lot better. And what you are saying makes a ton of sense.

Blkpitbull - good to know someone else is going through the same or very similar stuff. If you get any new symptoms or such and you want to discuss, let me know! We're all in this boat together, right?

Take care, both of you!

[Hey Guys]

Reading this post makes me feel like I wrote it myself.

Don't worry, I think we all experience this to a certain degree...