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View Full Version : Is this anxiety?!



Omg Exs And Ohs
05-30-2013, 02:15 PM
I don't know where to start with this.
I am currently 24. When I was 16 I had alcohol poisoning and experienced my first episode of this crap that I'm writing about. Not sure if it's anxiety or something else.
I don't remember exact symptoms from that episode but I'm pretty sure it's happened once a year since then. Episodes last anywhere from 6-9 days. I used to try to sleep throughout the entire thing so I wouldn't have to deal. I was in school at that time and when I went to the doctor for this feeling I told them I didn't want to go to school because we would walk across the street at lunch time and I'd be adraid that I would look both ways before crossing and not see a car but there might be one that I didn't notice and I'd get hit or something. He gave me Citalopram. I don't remember why I quit taking it but I did. I ended up dropping out of school because I had missed to much.
When I was 17 and had a job I know it hit because I missed so much work that I ended up having to call in each day that I ended up being termed. I just don't remember what brought it on. I have a terrible memory.
When I was 18 I had moved back to California to live with my father and I do remember having an episode while living there but I didn't drink so I can't think of what brought it on.
At 19, after moving back to Oklahoma, I was living with a boyfriend. I don't remember if I had it that year or not. Same goes for age 20.
As for age 21, I remember having a bad cold brought on by allergies that I took over the counter allergy meds for. After that I remember having an episode.
I was a cigarette smoker since the age of 15. I had quit for a week or two at a time every now and then but never had any problems.
At age 22, my current boyfriend had asked me to quit smoking so I did. I was fine other than the normal cravings. It was probably a week or so later that I smoked one cigarette and the next day I'm assuming it was, was brought into an episode. I blamed it on the quitting even though he blamed it on the smoking. lol
We had broke up and I was living back with my mother at age 23. I was working and ended up catching pneumonia. Being out of work for a week with pneumonia, after I started feeling better, I had an episode come on. It lasted another week so of course I got fired from that job as well.
Now at age 24, being back with the boyfriend, I am currently going through this crap. Nothing could have brought it on. I haven't started smoking again. No heavy drinking. No illness. Idk what it is. Only some of the symptoms point to anxiety. I have decided to call this "head crap" anxiety so I don't sound as dumb when trying to give it a name. lol
It's really hard to explain, I feel like I'm in a constant daze. Although nobody can really tell I'm going through this just by looking at me or talking to me, I can feel it the second it starts. When it comes on it starts the second I wake up in the morning. I can't stay focused, I don't like talking on the phone because I can't really register what the other person is saying as fast as needed for a telephone conversation. It's like head fog. Everything seems clouded although I can see clear as day, my brain doesn't seem to process it that way. I can hear fine normally but going through this, things either seem reall quiet or really loud. If that makes sense. When I do my makeup I have a thin black line on the top eyelid. Now like I said, I usually try to sleep through this but being with my boyfriend I can't really do that. We have a house now and I don't like him to see me for a slob so I try to keep myself up and visibly bareable. lol I've been trying to do my makeup each day. It normally takes me about 3 mins to do my makeup but while going through this it's taking me almost 10 minutes. I have to double check that top line over and over and over because I can't make sure that it's straight. It'll look straight but it's like I can't trust my brain because my eyes don't really seem connected at the time. Idk. lol I feel like I'm in a super rush when doing things all the time. Like my body will seem to go at normal speed but my brain is on fast forward. I will do stuff and not remember I did it. I use to explain it as I would say something and not know whether I said it or thought it.
I noticed last year and this year, when I argue with the boyfriend my head, face and ears get suuuper hot. I live in tornado alley and am deathly afraid of tornadoes so I get really nervous whenever it storms. This hotness only happens when I argue with the bf. Not when I'm nervous about storms or mad at someone else. Just when I fight with him. And the hotness only occurs while I'm going through these episodes.

I know this was a lot to read and I'm sorry. I just couldn't imagine throwing little bits up here and having anyone guess. So, anyone have any ideas? xo

alankay
05-30-2013, 07:26 PM
Well anxiety seems to be a component but "the daze" and "memory" issues might not be but could be from depression(occurs frequently with anxiety) or maybe a touch of ADD or even a dash of OCD.
My question would be to start with a one word description. Would you say "distressed"(fear/dread/scared/worried) fits first and best or "sad", low and/or blue?
Start there. The cyclical nature you describe might be a clue...... but maybe not. What fits best as a primary issue being distressed or sad/hopeless?
By the way dropping the smoking, etc. is very good indeed. TX! Alankay

Lin
05-30-2013, 11:07 PM
You do need to decide what your symptoms are and then it is good to talk to a doctor to rule out any illnesses and then when you know it is anxiety causing your problems you can start to learn techniques to help with the anxiety.
Anxiety is horrible and it is amazing what symptoms it can cause in your body and any period of stress can bring on anxiety attacks.
When feeling anxious you need to learn to calm down by concentrating on slowing down your breathing and breath deep from your stomach because when anxious you shallow breath from your chest and it makes the panic worse.
Hope this forum helps you because you will know you are not alone and you can learn lots of bits of advice which helps you.