Omg Exs And Ohs
05-30-2013, 02:15 PM
I don't know where to start with this.
I am currently 24. When I was 16 I had alcohol poisoning and experienced my first episode of this crap that I'm writing about. Not sure if it's anxiety or something else.
I don't remember exact symptoms from that episode but I'm pretty sure it's happened once a year since then. Episodes last anywhere from 6-9 days. I used to try to sleep throughout the entire thing so I wouldn't have to deal. I was in school at that time and when I went to the doctor for this feeling I told them I didn't want to go to school because we would walk across the street at lunch time and I'd be adraid that I would look both ways before crossing and not see a car but there might be one that I didn't notice and I'd get hit or something. He gave me Citalopram. I don't remember why I quit taking it but I did. I ended up dropping out of school because I had missed to much.
When I was 17 and had a job I know it hit because I missed so much work that I ended up having to call in each day that I ended up being termed. I just don't remember what brought it on. I have a terrible memory.
When I was 18 I had moved back to California to live with my father and I do remember having an episode while living there but I didn't drink so I can't think of what brought it on.
At 19, after moving back to Oklahoma, I was living with a boyfriend. I don't remember if I had it that year or not. Same goes for age 20.
As for age 21, I remember having a bad cold brought on by allergies that I took over the counter allergy meds for. After that I remember having an episode.
I was a cigarette smoker since the age of 15. I had quit for a week or two at a time every now and then but never had any problems.
At age 22, my current boyfriend had asked me to quit smoking so I did. I was fine other than the normal cravings. It was probably a week or so later that I smoked one cigarette and the next day I'm assuming it was, was brought into an episode. I blamed it on the quitting even though he blamed it on the smoking. lol
We had broke up and I was living back with my mother at age 23. I was working and ended up catching pneumonia. Being out of work for a week with pneumonia, after I started feeling better, I had an episode come on. It lasted another week so of course I got fired from that job as well.
Now at age 24, being back with the boyfriend, I am currently going through this crap. Nothing could have brought it on. I haven't started smoking again. No heavy drinking. No illness. Idk what it is. Only some of the symptoms point to anxiety. I have decided to call this "head crap" anxiety so I don't sound as dumb when trying to give it a name. lol
It's really hard to explain, I feel like I'm in a constant daze. Although nobody can really tell I'm going through this just by looking at me or talking to me, I can feel it the second it starts. When it comes on it starts the second I wake up in the morning. I can't stay focused, I don't like talking on the phone because I can't really register what the other person is saying as fast as needed for a telephone conversation. It's like head fog. Everything seems clouded although I can see clear as day, my brain doesn't seem to process it that way. I can hear fine normally but going through this, things either seem reall quiet or really loud. If that makes sense. When I do my makeup I have a thin black line on the top eyelid. Now like I said, I usually try to sleep through this but being with my boyfriend I can't really do that. We have a house now and I don't like him to see me for a slob so I try to keep myself up and visibly bareable. lol I've been trying to do my makeup each day. It normally takes me about 3 mins to do my makeup but while going through this it's taking me almost 10 minutes. I have to double check that top line over and over and over because I can't make sure that it's straight. It'll look straight but it's like I can't trust my brain because my eyes don't really seem connected at the time. Idk. lol I feel like I'm in a super rush when doing things all the time. Like my body will seem to go at normal speed but my brain is on fast forward. I will do stuff and not remember I did it. I use to explain it as I would say something and not know whether I said it or thought it.
I noticed last year and this year, when I argue with the boyfriend my head, face and ears get suuuper hot. I live in tornado alley and am deathly afraid of tornadoes so I get really nervous whenever it storms. This hotness only happens when I argue with the bf. Not when I'm nervous about storms or mad at someone else. Just when I fight with him. And the hotness only occurs while I'm going through these episodes.
I know this was a lot to read and I'm sorry. I just couldn't imagine throwing little bits up here and having anyone guess. So, anyone have any ideas? xo
I am currently 24. When I was 16 I had alcohol poisoning and experienced my first episode of this crap that I'm writing about. Not sure if it's anxiety or something else.
I don't remember exact symptoms from that episode but I'm pretty sure it's happened once a year since then. Episodes last anywhere from 6-9 days. I used to try to sleep throughout the entire thing so I wouldn't have to deal. I was in school at that time and when I went to the doctor for this feeling I told them I didn't want to go to school because we would walk across the street at lunch time and I'd be adraid that I would look both ways before crossing and not see a car but there might be one that I didn't notice and I'd get hit or something. He gave me Citalopram. I don't remember why I quit taking it but I did. I ended up dropping out of school because I had missed to much.
When I was 17 and had a job I know it hit because I missed so much work that I ended up having to call in each day that I ended up being termed. I just don't remember what brought it on. I have a terrible memory.
When I was 18 I had moved back to California to live with my father and I do remember having an episode while living there but I didn't drink so I can't think of what brought it on.
At 19, after moving back to Oklahoma, I was living with a boyfriend. I don't remember if I had it that year or not. Same goes for age 20.
As for age 21, I remember having a bad cold brought on by allergies that I took over the counter allergy meds for. After that I remember having an episode.
I was a cigarette smoker since the age of 15. I had quit for a week or two at a time every now and then but never had any problems.
At age 22, my current boyfriend had asked me to quit smoking so I did. I was fine other than the normal cravings. It was probably a week or so later that I smoked one cigarette and the next day I'm assuming it was, was brought into an episode. I blamed it on the quitting even though he blamed it on the smoking. lol
We had broke up and I was living back with my mother at age 23. I was working and ended up catching pneumonia. Being out of work for a week with pneumonia, after I started feeling better, I had an episode come on. It lasted another week so of course I got fired from that job as well.
Now at age 24, being back with the boyfriend, I am currently going through this crap. Nothing could have brought it on. I haven't started smoking again. No heavy drinking. No illness. Idk what it is. Only some of the symptoms point to anxiety. I have decided to call this "head crap" anxiety so I don't sound as dumb when trying to give it a name. lol
It's really hard to explain, I feel like I'm in a constant daze. Although nobody can really tell I'm going through this just by looking at me or talking to me, I can feel it the second it starts. When it comes on it starts the second I wake up in the morning. I can't stay focused, I don't like talking on the phone because I can't really register what the other person is saying as fast as needed for a telephone conversation. It's like head fog. Everything seems clouded although I can see clear as day, my brain doesn't seem to process it that way. I can hear fine normally but going through this, things either seem reall quiet or really loud. If that makes sense. When I do my makeup I have a thin black line on the top eyelid. Now like I said, I usually try to sleep through this but being with my boyfriend I can't really do that. We have a house now and I don't like him to see me for a slob so I try to keep myself up and visibly bareable. lol I've been trying to do my makeup each day. It normally takes me about 3 mins to do my makeup but while going through this it's taking me almost 10 minutes. I have to double check that top line over and over and over because I can't make sure that it's straight. It'll look straight but it's like I can't trust my brain because my eyes don't really seem connected at the time. Idk. lol I feel like I'm in a super rush when doing things all the time. Like my body will seem to go at normal speed but my brain is on fast forward. I will do stuff and not remember I did it. I use to explain it as I would say something and not know whether I said it or thought it.
I noticed last year and this year, when I argue with the boyfriend my head, face and ears get suuuper hot. I live in tornado alley and am deathly afraid of tornadoes so I get really nervous whenever it storms. This hotness only happens when I argue with the bf. Not when I'm nervous about storms or mad at someone else. Just when I fight with him. And the hotness only occurs while I'm going through these episodes.
I know this was a lot to read and I'm sorry. I just couldn't imagine throwing little bits up here and having anyone guess. So, anyone have any ideas? xo