Ruining my life.

[anxiousLAD]

24 year old male suffering with anxiety for the last 3 years. All started when I was on a train and needed the loo, the toilet on the train was occupied, this caused me to have a anxiety/panic attack because I couldn't go And was desperate. The fear of messing myself on the train got the better of me that day and had left an in print on my brain. Because of the emotions and the experience of this attack I haven't had a social life for 3 and abit years due to not being able to cope with the anxiety and being scared of being in a situation like this again. I'm currently off work because I cannot cope with the anxiety. I've been to my gp and have been prescribed matazapine 45mg. This controls the anxiety a little but also gives you the runs and when you have to go, you have to go. This isn't helping my situation with the anxiety I go through about needing to go to the loo. Has any 1 got any tips or advice to try and conquer this anxiety. It's ruining my life and my relationship as my girlfriend has to do everything on her own because my fear of needing the loo desperately and no being able to go for whatever reason is too great that anxiety kicks in and I bottle it. Hopefully I'm not alone with this.

[GeneralWorrier]

24 year old male suffering with anxiety for the last 3 years. All started when I was on a train and needed the loo, the toilet on the train was occupied, this caused me to have a anxiety/panic attack because I couldn't go And was desperate. The fear of messing myself on the train got the better of me that day and had left an in print on my brain. Because of the emotions and the experience of this attack I haven't had a social life for 3 and abit years due to not being able to cope with the anxiety and being scared of being in a situation like this again. I'm currently off work because I cannot cope with the anxiety. I've been to my gp and have been prescribed matazapine 45mg. This controls the anxiety a little but also gives you the runs and when you have to go, you have to go. This isn't helping my situation with the anxiety I go through about needing to go to the loo. Has any 1 got any tips or advice to try and conquer this anxiety. It's ruining my life and my relationship as my girlfriend has to do everything on her own because my fear of needing the loo desperately and no being able to go for whatever reason is too great that anxiety kicks in and I bottle it. Hopefully I'm not alone with this.

I feel for you I really do, I'm kind of the same but not for the runs. I had a similar situation 2 years ago but instead of the runs it was with being sick. Ever since then it's just taken over my life, I worry that when I'm out or in certain situations I'm not going to be able to get out or get to the toilet in time. Sounds weird I know but I can't seem to help it! I went to my GP and he gave me 10mg Domperidone to help with the nausea and usually takes it away, but in the back of my mind I still worry like mad. I always seem to be making excuses not to go out with people; even my family, I feel awful when I keep turning everyone down :( they don't understand either, no matter how much I try and make them understand they think it's ridiculous and 'all in my head' which technically it is, but not in the way they mean it.

As for trying to control this, why not ask your GP to give you something to stop the side effects? There may also be over the counter tablets which you could probably buy from the chemist. Any progress is good progress so why not try going out for maybe say 10 minutes? Somewhere close so you can always get back to the house if you need to. Ask your girlfriend to go with you, so you're including her in the battle to fight this stupid anxiety! I hope I've helped, sorry if not haha. I feel for anyone who has to cope with this, especially younger people like us, I'm only 17 and should be looking forward to Uni life coming up soon but if I'm truthful I am absolutely dreading it! Best wishes :)

[anxiousLAD]

Hi, thanks for the post. I'm visiting my gp tomorrow so will ask about counter acting mess. As it going out for 10 mins, I spent slot of time outside as I live on a farm, but this is my comfort zone,and any new places or situations that I'm not used to, or even people I get these feelings of nervousness and anxiety. I am currently having counselling and due for my second session on Friday. This is telephone counselling tho because I know I wouldn't go otherwise. Regarding your sickness, I'd just think well I can be sick anywhere when I'm out, I've not Necessarily got to make it to a toilet, I know the anxiety and fear of Embarrassment will make it so hard for you, but the people around you will not understand so will just think you've fallen I'll or something. Don't be like me and not help yourself, this is my worst mistake do not stop going out and enjoying yourself your so much younger than me and like you said your starting uni, something I never got the chance to do. I wish I was at uni now getting a degree and being on better money for me and my girlfriend to buy our first house together rather than being a porter at a hospital and struggling by every month.
I know I've probably not helped but think of uni long term having a better job and bigger house and enjoying life with a partner and few kids of your own.
:D

[Illusionist210]

I understand about the bathroom situation, totally. Matter of fact when I go out I have to know where we are going and I also need to locate the bathroom when I get to the place. If the bathroom does not have multiple toilets or even a door that locks, my anxiety goes sky high and I have to leave the area. If they have a decent bathroom then I say to myself that "hey, their is a perfect bathroom here with multiple toilets and privacy so IF anything should happen you should not worry." Weird I know, but it does help my anxiety to know there is a bathroom nearby that I can go to if I need to. So with that said, start by going to a place you know has a decent public bathroom that fits your comfort zone. Just take baby steps from there.

[anxiousLAD]

I understand about the bathroom situation, totally. Matter of fact when I go out I have to know where we are going and I also need to locate the bathroom when I get to the place. If the bathroom does not have multiple toilets or even a door that locks, my anxiety goes sky high and I have to leave the area. If they have a decent bathroom then I say to myself that "hey, their is a perfect bathroom here with multiple toilets and privacy so IF anything should happen you should not worry." Weird I know, but it does help my anxiety to know there is a bathroom nearby that I can go to if I need to. So with that said, start by going to a place you know has a decent public bathroom that fits your comfort zone. Just take baby steps from there.

hi illusionist210

thanks for advice, my anxiety when faced with going out is beating me at the minute, this is exactly what i do if i do go out tho as i find it helps me to.as soon as i see some1 going to the toilet when there is only 1 available makes my anxiety go through the roof! are you on any kind of meds to help? im prescribed 45 mg matazapine i dont find this helps a little but no massively. i just wan to be able to control this stupid anxiety and start living a normal life.
thanks for response. am sure we can find a way of beating this crippling anxiety.

[Illusionist210]

I am actually waiting for mid June to go see a doctor about getting back on meds. I've had this problem since 08' and stopped taking my meds in 10' because of the side affects which made me think this type of meds is not working for me so I need to try something new. Problem is my old doctor dropped me because they were only going to treat kids now and that left me hanging. Been trying to see one ever since. Could you believe it actually took me 3yrs to get a hold of a new psychiatrist? It's all about baby steps. I'm not saying go out right this second lol. Keep relaxing and stay calm at all times and literally take baby steps. As of right now with where your anxiety level is at, go out to wherever until you feel it's too much then turn back around and go home. Next day do the same. Then the next day and the day after that. Keep going until you are used to leaving your house and staying out. If it takes you 5 days, weeks, months, or years.....then so be it. Nobody said it was a race to see who gets cured first right? Just keep going out everyday just a little past your comfort zone with whatever level of anxiety you may be having at that moment, hell you might not be having any, andnjustnince you start to feel uneasy then just turn around and go to a comfort place, there will always be tomorrow to try again

[anxiousLAD]

good this can only be a positive step. cant believe its took you 3 years to get to see another doctor, this cant have been easy. i understand about the baby steps rather than big steps. i will try this method even more so after finding this forum, its makes it a little bit easier knowing I'm not alone with my situation and actually anxiety affects more people than i first realised. i don't know if you seen in one of my other post someone advised me to read a book called "how to stop worrying and start living"..by Dale Carnegie, i have since purchased the book from the net and going to start reading this later. maybe you could try this also. nothing to loose and everything to gain.

[Cobra]

Also purchase or download Hope and Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes and read it. Read it two or three times, highlight it and try to follow her techniques. I did this and in about two weeks my anxiety dropped from about a constant 7 or 8 out of 10 to about 2 or 3. I am currently reading the book you suggested to y to break myself of the worrying habit, but the guide by Claire Weekes is strictly about panic attacks, and she tells you exactly how to combat them and how and why they happen. She suffered from anxiety, too, so she knew exactly what we are going through.

[GeneralWorrier]

Hi, thanks for the post. I'm visiting my gp tomorrow so will ask about counter acting mess. As it going out for 10 mins, I spent slot of time outside as I live on a farm, but this is my comfort zone,and any new places or situations that I'm not used to, or even people I get these feelings of nervousness and anxiety. I am currently having counselling and due for my second session on Friday. This is telephone counselling tho because I know I wouldn't go otherwise. Regarding your sickness, I'd just think well I can be sick anywhere when I'm out, I've not Necessarily got to make it to a toilet, I know the anxiety and fear of Embarrassment will make it so hard for you, but the people around you will not understand so will just think you've fallen I'll or something. Don't be like me and not help yourself, this is my worst mistake do not stop going out and enjoying yourself your so much younger than me and like you said your starting uni, something I never got the chance to do. I wish I was at uni now getting a degree and being on better money for me and my girlfriend to buy our first house together rather than being a porter at a hospital and struggling by every month.
I know I've probably not helped but think of uni long term having a better job and bigger house and enjoying life with a partner and few kids of your own.
:D

You're welcome :) anything for a fellow rams fan haha!

Ah I see, I totally agree with illusionist, going a little further everyday could really help you. I am meant to be starting counselling and CBT soon, I'm fairly nervous about it all as I hate talking to people at the best of times. Yeah I try and tell myself that, as long as I see an exit out of somewhere I'm usually okay but if things are going well it's as if my mind thinks its going too well haha! I try to go out as much as I can, usually around rural areas as I feel really panicky around town. I'm trying to aim to get to Uni straight away without taking any gap years as I think if I do I will never get there. Ahh haha I would love to settle down and have a family but seems life doesn't want me to ;) a few months ago I got told I wouldn't be able to have children so that was a kick in the teeth! Especially at my age but I suppose it means I should be able to enjoy life all the same :)