So much stress. Need to vent.

[Cobra]

So this is my life situation. I started getting panic attacks after a health scare. Had precancerous polyps removed, then hemorrhaged and had to have that fixed. I am also dealing with money problems, my sons wedding and bridezilla fiancé (they keep mistreating my wife, didn't visit for Mother's Day, call her a troublemaker whenever she tries to help and just come visit when they want money). My wife is a diabetic asthmatic with Celiacs disease and high blood pressure and I worry constantly about her health. My mother has copd and emphesyma. Oh, and I am trying to quit smoking again. I started back when I thought I might have colon cancer. I was like f... It. If I have cancer I'm smoking. Haha. Right now I want a cig so bad. We were picking strawberries and my wife had an asthma attack and no inhaler because she gave her last one to our son. Last night he got real hateful to her on Facebook because she offered to hire a photog for their wedding and told her to butt out and stop trying to cause problems. I was so mad I had to take a nerve pill. We are broke from giving them money and trying to figure out how to stretch our last hundred bucks for groceries for the month and they are so demanding and rude I just want to punch something. Anyway, I just need to vent and get all this off my chest. Fortunately, my younger son is a very tender hearted and loving boy, so that makes up a little for mr. Me me me. Right now he is doing dishes for his mother. Sometimes I wish I could just not care about anyone but myself. It's so stressful. I know lots of people have it worse than me, but it doesn't make it much easier.

[NixonRulz]

Well you sure have reasons to be stressed. That is a full plate. Damn.

I commend you for quitting smoking but maybe think about trying once you get past a few of the stress causing things

Quitting is stressful enough even when everything else is perfect

I can't tell you what to do about your son and his mean streak but he is probably having a hard time trying to balance things knowing you and the Mrs aren't fond of his fiancé and vice versa

Hopefully things will simmer after the wedding

If not, give him a spanking.

[Cobra]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I need to set that boy down, but when things get heated now I start having an attack because of my nerves and have to retreat and chill out. I've been trying self hypnosis exercises. Lol. Not sure if its working yet. Been 2 days since my last cig. Proud of that but it isn't helping the nerves much. Just have to keep plugging along, I guess.

[Lin]

Good luck wit the self hypnosis and persevering with the quitting smoking. It seems to me that you should concentrate on you and your wife for a while and let your difficult son struggle. He is never going to learn from his mistakes if you keep bailing him out with money and he is never going to learn to stop treading on you and your wife while you continue to take it and still help him. I would concentrate your love on the son who is giving love back at the moment and hope that with time and realisation that you are not going to continue to help the other son while he treats you so badly, that he will soon realise how badly he is treating you and change. Sometimes you have to be tough with your loved ones to stop being trodden on and mistreated.

[Judie]

So this is my life situation. I started getting panic attacks after a health scare. Had precancerous polyps removed, then hemorrhaged and had to have that fixed. I am also dealing with money problems, my sons wedding and bridezilla fiancé (they keep mistreating my wife, didn't visit for Mother's Day, call her a troublemaker whenever she tries to help and just come visit when they want money). My wife is a diabetic asthmatic with Celiacs disease and high blood pressure and I worry constantly about her health. My mother has copd and emphesyma. Oh, and I am trying to quit smoking again. I started back when I thought I might have colon cancer. I was like f... It. If I have cancer I'm smoking. Haha. Right now I want a cig so bad. We were picking strawberries and my wife had an asthma attack and no inhaler because she gave her last one to our son. Last night he got real hateful to her on Facebook because she offered to hire a photog for their wedding and told her to butt out and stop trying to cause problems. I was so mad I had to take a nerve pill. We are broke from giving them money and trying to figure out how to stretch our last hundred bucks for groceries for the month and they are so demanding and rude I just want to punch something. Anyway, I just need to vent and get all this off my chest. Fortunately, my younger son is a very tender hearted and loving boy, so that makes up a little for mr. Me me me. Right now he is doing dishes for his mother. Sometimes I wish I could just not care about anyone but myself. It's so stressful. I know lots of people have it worse than me, but it doesn't make it much easier.
Both NixonRulz and Lin are correct. More often then not at the root of anxiety is the very bad behavior of someone close to you. Anxiety Sufferers tend to be the ones to " step to the plate" for others. Often they enable bad behavior in other people. Hey I am in no way criticizing, I have made my fair share of mistakes in this department. I extended a helping hand to both my brother and my stepson as they both had addiction problems and were attempting sobriety. My home was well balanced and my daughter was healthy, growing up in a healthy balanced home until I took these people in and for five years there was stress , anxiety and basically we were used as they continued their bad behavior. Obviously my husband and I did the right thing and "finally" told them to leave, as they were disrespectful to us and our home. My youngest daughter, a beautiful healthy girl now suffers from a depression. Her bother left and never spoke to her again nor his father ( me I guess I could deal with but he hurt the two people I loved most in the world ) My brother and I are estranged as well ( my daughter's godfather) After I saved his life three times, he had the nerve to say to me, when I told him I had to go in for a surgical biopsy for Cancer that I owed him money ????? The reality was he owed me 21,000 dollars and still owes me $10,000 .That's a ton of money when you have a kid in college. My point is this it's "insanity", you know it but you listen and take in all that horrible negative stuff. I took my job as a parent more seriously then I have ever done anything else in my life and I made those two MAJOR mistakes of bringing that poison into my house. That saddens me more then you will ever know. I apologize for running on and on but the fact is your youngest son IS my daughter ( the innocent good kid ) and your wife is sick and you are stressed. Do what all Anxiety Sufferer's do best stand up to the plate but for the "right people", your youngest son, your wife and yourself. I learned the hard way that picking up the pieces for people prevents them from learning how to pick up the pieces for themselves , if you worry about them all the time, they will never worry about themselves and "If " your son's bad behavior has no consequences in life there will always be " bad" behavior. If you can't sit down and talk to him because of your nerves, write him a letter. Trust me you are helping him in the long run. Best of Luck ! Families can be very tough. When writing that letter use the word " I " instead of you that takes a position of responsibility and away from accusation. " I " feel that your behavior is hurting your brother and mother and adding unnecessary stress to the family. I understand that you are getting married and we will support that decision but we need you to respect us as well. I am responsible for this family and I think you need to be responsible for yours. I have confidence that you can do this.. People get very defensive when the word " you" is used. Good Luck and ask your Dr for a Nicotine Patch and try an electronic cigarette ( $ 10.00 ) and are equivalent to two packs ( no smoke they are steam vapor but gives you the same effect ) Good Luck !