no interest, no motivation

[Saldav]

Does anyone else feel like they are not interested in doing anything, when before I was outgoing. I've been suffering from anxiety/depression for about 12 yrs now. My episodes start like this; I get a bad anxiety attack that haunts me for days sometimes weeks, as the anxiety somewhat is controlled with 2 mg of lorazepam every 8 hrs, the depression kicks in bad and for that I take 200mg of zoloft and 150mg of bupropion xl a day, and I've been taking that for 12 years and I think it ain't working anymore. So back to the way I'm feeling now. I wake up in terror like if I'm doomed which I know I'm not but it overwhelmingly takes over. The rest of the day I feel BLAH! Like I'm a waste of space and I'm not important to anyone. I have no interest in doing anything, I get no motivation, I feel like I'm losing my mind, I get weird disturbing thoughts that I know I will never act upon, but yet it lingers in my head. I see my kids and I love them to death but I start thinking what if my life would had been better if I didn't love or cared for anyone. Its so hard to explain in words and typing it is even harder. MY QUESTION IS DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THESE SYMPTOMS?

[blondieqtpie]

The anxiety and obsessive thoughts part I do too. Even as a child i remember thinking horrible things ... I never did or would do. Just disturbing. Sometimes odd disturbing thoughts still do... And it's like wtf?
The anxiety I can relate too. And I have OCD and the two together an go into a cycle.
I used to have depression but not so much the past few years. But in find having anxiety etc... It fluctuates in intensity... Comes and goes.