every day is a struggle.............

[kilmarnock37]

its now nearly 3 am and im still awake,im fed up feeling this way,panic and anxiety every day,its a real struggle,has been for the past 19 years..just want them to stop,just want them to go away,dont even know what in panicing about...no deep routed problems causing them.....ive learned to control em over the years but some days wow they hit me for six.some days this place helps me just reading that obv im not the only one that struggles every day some days it makes me worse reading others posts.its a great place to get the advice we need and a vent to get rid of our frustrations.....just wondered what some of you coping stratageys are ans if like me your tired n fed up with the daily struggle which is life an panics..............

[Bandit]

Hi,

Just read your post and I feel exactly the same. No reason to be anxious, nothing seems to be bothering me at the minute but I woke up shaking, came to work and my neck is tense so much so that it hurts. I feel like I want to cry and don't know why.

Are you taking any medication? (I understand if thats too much of a personal question).

x

[kilmarnock37]

yeah im on 160 mg of propranolol every day.some days they help other says i dont think it would matter what medication i was on.i would still feel horrible....

[Bandit]

I take 20mg of Paroxetine.

When I'm drunk (which isn't often) I wouldn't know I had anxiety however the day after I get it ten fold.

I find it easy to advise and not follow the advice if you know what I mean. I am currently trying to act my way out of it, trying to believe I don't have anxiety, I'm not feeling any sensations, the thoughts are just stupid. Its hard thogh. I'm 30 and still have to ask my mum a hundred times a day whether everything will be okay. Pathetic huh.

I had to give up work once as I became agrophobic, that went away. I was nearly put in hospital once as I couldn't eat or drink, that went away. I like to think that I am slowly becoming stronger over the years and more used to it. It overwhelms me some days but others it is non existant. I didn't just get anxiety one day, I was born with it I think. Just got steadily worse the older I got and now its slowly getting better but the setbacks are vile.

Sorry to talk and talk :-)

[Kevcules]

Hey Bandit......that statement you made really hit home with me "I find it easy to advise and not follow the advice".....I'm the same. I can sit here and tell you guys to just relax, get some meds, it's only a phase , you're going to get better and yet I'm freaking out all the time. Thinking this will never go away. My sex drive won't return , considered suicide a lot, and on and on. It's easy to say things but hard to do. Taking meds has brought down the levels of depression and anxiety but I still have them. I think my lack of ability to have sex sometimes, is the biggest stress and anxiousness on me now! It's a big circle, stress and anxiety from work and life, then not much interest in sex, more stress and anxiety! How do you break that ugly circle?? Life is awesome isn't it? lol

Take Care

[Bandit]

Hey Kevcules,

Oh the sex thing! I want sex but then can't be bothered because it never goes anywhere for me. This frustrates my boyfriend thinking its him, it frustrates me that I can't 'get anywhere (CODE SPEAK!)' and round and round we go.

Its not that I don't want it, its just a battle when I do because I get my hair off and left hanging!

One of my issues is that I'd like to strat a family but what kind of Mum would I be, would I project my anxieties onto them. What if I went mad and hurt them (that mega freaks me out). I couldn't come off my medication either.

I think we secretly believe that our sensations are unique to us even if people describe them perfectly. Sh*t isn't it :-)

x
I was knocked back a bit to hear that you had considered suicide. I have often felt like I'm a waste of organs but I'm personally never going to give in this fight. I know how well I can feel albeit few and far between. Please never hurt yourself :-(

[Enduronman]

Honestly stating, if you are reluctant to open your mind to new ideas, opportunity, suggestion, opinion, advice, then your mind won't allow you to receive the help that you're here searching for. The only way out, is to let something new in. Out with the bad, in with the good. Inhale, exhale..in with fresh, out with stale and stagnant. To put it quite simply..it isn't a weakness to accept help from others, it is one of the most powerful aspects and atributes of mankind.

[Kevcules]

Hey Kevcules,

Oh the sex thing! I want sex but then can't be bothered because it never goes anywhere for me. This frustrates my boyfriend thinking its him, it frustrates me that I can't 'get anywhere (CODE SPEAK!)' and round and round we go.

Its not that I don't want it, its just a battle when I do because I get my hair off and left hanging!

One of my issues is that I'd like to strat a family but what kind of Mum would I be, would I project my anxieties onto them. What if I went mad and hurt them (that mega freaks me out). I couldn't come off my medication either.

I think we secretly believe that our sensations are unique to us even if people describe them perfectly. Sh*t isn't it

x
I was knocked back a bit to hear that you had considered suicide. I have often felt like I'm a waste of organs but I'm personally never going to give in this fight. I know how well I can feel albeit few and far between. Please never hurt yourself :-(


Ok then.... :) I think I understand what your saying bandit and I smiled, but maybe I shouldn't be. If you and your partner aren't connecting and sex isn't good for both of you , then it's an issue! My issue being a man is that I don't crave it at all and most times lately, when I try , it doesn't happen? That's a scary feeling for the male of our species! :) Even though I can say that it's the stress and anxiety and the drugs now that are the cause, that doesn't help me get a boner! That's all I want these days. I could even handle some anxiety and headaches or sore muscles or whatever within reason, but the tree has to rise! lol Yet it keeps yelling "timber" ...lol Guys are simple creatures really......"little" things make us happy! :)

Starting a family changes people for the better mostly. You mature and learn what is actually important. It's not the idiot at the mall looking at you weird,it's if your child is happy and smiling and they make you smile when you look at them......it's a very good feeling......don't be afraid...

Yes everyone thinks no on else is as screwed up as we "think" we are .....but there are many! Anxiety isn't prejudice!

It scares me a little too that dieing was one of my options to stop the torture but it was. That's how I calmed myself most days. I said to myself, I can stop this torture if I really want to, so if it gets too bad...........
I think I'm over that hump now with the help of this forum and the great people here and of course ........some meds!

I'm so glad to hear that you won't give in on this fight! That makes me feel stronger too! Thanks!

Take Care!