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Slammed Vdub
05-23-2013, 07:17 PM
So long story short ive had anxiety for a while. I fought it off several times for a while. I am usually fine now, besides this one person that keeps coming to mind. So i have been in a committed relationship for around 4 years, and i love my girlfriend. I would never ever cheat on her or do anything along those lines. But, there was this girl in my college classes who shared all my same interests and was just all around super chill. However, she was not like me at all. She liked to party, get drunk, and she probably got around. I never hung out with her or anything and i havent seen her in around half a year. For some reason i cant get her out of my mind. I have have dreams with her, and whenever i think of her i get emotional and my anxiety spikes up. I never talk to anyone about this, and i feel crummy even writing this on here. Any thoughts on to get over her and this issue?

DustingMyselfOff
05-23-2013, 08:15 PM
Wow, that's a tough one. One part of me says Google her, see if you can find out what she's up to, etc. There may be a reason you have had her in your thoughts. On the other hand, I wouldn't want you to do anything to hurt your girlfriend or your relationship, so resist the impulse and hope it fades away?

As you can see, that was a totally useless response. Sorry.
Sue

Enduronman
05-23-2013, 08:20 PM
Wondering is what gets us into big troubles, trust me. From the looks of her bio, she's dangerous and not in a good way. If you wish to keep the stability that it appears you do now have, and probably also your health too, then you've gotta let this vision of her go bruh. POOF!

If that doesn't work then track her down, shouldn't be that hard in this day and age, and send her a message but be sure that you word it so you appear to be a complete idiot! Basically, cut yourself loose with her assistance...

You got this man!

Judie
05-23-2013, 09:19 PM
Hi Slammed Vdub, you were attracted to the girl and that's very commonplace . But given that you suffer from OCD, she perhaps is just your latest obsession, nothing more and nothing less. Perhaps she's a fantasy, everyone fantasises at one point or another, even in healthy committed relationships. You were most likely attracted to her and have now formed a bit of an obsession ? The reason she stirs up emotion and spikes up your anxiety is because you feel guilty over an attraction and with your obsessive nature probably taking this to another level, such as I can't stop thinking about her, dreaming about her etc...most likely means absolutely nothing. Did she pop into your head ? Was this during a period of routine, perhaps a little boredom in your everyday life with your girlfriend ? It seems like you and fantasy girl are very different then you and your girlfriend and that may offer you some excitement but a drinker that messes around may not be the excitement that you actually need or want. Now you could look her up follow through, my guess is it probably isn't for you and keep in mind every action has a reaction, this could cost you your girlfriend. Think hard about this one my friend. Sometimes fantasies are meant to remain fantasies. The irony is most people usually like to avoid people/ situations that provoke anxiety ! Good Luck !

Slammed Vdub
05-23-2013, 09:55 PM
As far as looking her up we have each others number and facebook. I dont use it or anything along those lines. I think you guys are right where its mainly a random obsession and she just happens to be the target. But part of that OCD is telling me, what if i cant get over her for a reason. If you know what im saying. IDK it sucks, i love my girlfriend and this obsession over this other girl just makes me feel even worse. I have never hung out with her nor do i plan too while im in a relationship. If i didnt have a girlfriend then maybe.. IDK tough spot.

Bandit
05-24-2013, 03:19 AM
Hi,

My personal opinion only.....its down to OCD.

I went for a drink with my bf flatmate, on the request of my bf who was working nights at the time. We went out, I got mega drunk. The morning after I obsessed that I had slept with his flatmate. I know deep down I never but I worried I did. I even told my bf my worry. He eventually understood that it was just an intrusive thought but can you see how ocd gets you into trouble for no reason.

We all have "the one that got away" but I think your better off saying "yeah I liked this girl, but I have a girl who I love, they'll be many women I'm attracted to but thats life".

I know its hard, even as I type this I am experiencing the whole "what if I did sleep with him". Crazy huh.

x

Slammed Vdub
09-15-2013, 08:54 PM
So i gave it months.. I seriously still have a dream about this girl like once a week. Me and my gf arent doing so well and this doesnt help.. I dont know what to do. I cant forget about her. I just cant. Any thoughts guys?

Slammed Vdub
09-16-2013, 08:17 PM
anyone? not getting better, not sure if its something more than OCD at this point.