Anxious, scared newbie

[Stephj526]

So I just figured out that maybe I'm having anxiety attacks. About 7 months ago I was diagnosed with sinus tachycardia. I was a normal, healthy 27 year old female used to walking 5Ks on a regular basis and running all day until I dropped. I could definitely lose a few (ok several) pounds, but otherwise generally healthy. I have a dog, live in an apartment with my sister and fiance, and am planning our wedding and possibly buying a house. I have a pretty stressful job, but never really felt stressed out by it before.

In the last 7 months, I quit smoking, never drink, gave up caffeine... but I never seem to get better. I constantly find myself having fast heart rates and have even had to call 911 three times now. WOW. I've noticed that the left side of my body goes numb pretty regularly and just spent an entire weekend in the hospital because of it. I've had MRIs, CT scans, x-rays, blood work, echo tests, stress test, and whatever else you can imagine. All clear, no bad results.

This last week I noticed that this pressure in my head appeared and just WILL NOT leave. I finally started googling what could be happening and all these anxiety forums sounded JUST like me. I asked my doctor for help and she prescribed Lexapro (well, the generic). The first day, awesome. The second day...eh. Yesterday, headaches galore. I hadn't worked a full day in over a week, and I hate that. I'm really hoping that the Lexapro helps me be me again. I miss that part of my life, and I'm sure my family, friends, and coworkers do too.

I really enjoy reading everyone's success stories on here, and while I hate that others are suffering, it's truly reassuring to know that other people are experiencing the same thing and are, in fact, not dying. I think that's the scariest part. Constantly feeling like I'm dying, and then all the results say no.

And how sick is that? I should be rejoicing that all the results are saying no, but instead I've convinced myself that they're wrong. I truly look forward to understanding that they are right, this is just a sickness called anxiety, and I WILL beat this ugly beast!

On a positive note, i made it through my first full day of work in a week today. I was so scared and shaky at first. And it wasn't without challenge, but i survived. Now tomorrow is work and engagement pictures, praying for strength!

Thanks for listening to my rant, I feel anxious just talking about my anxiety, ugh. Please feel free to comment and share your stories!!!

[Enduronman]

Welcome anxious scared newbie!

[Lin]

Really pleased for you managing a day at work and hope photos went well.
I have clinical depression and anxiety due to hormone imbalance during menopause and this time have had it since march 2011.
I had previously had post natal depression about 5 times after birth of my son and then miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy etc. Usually those bouts only lasted 5-6 months until hormones settled back down and I was able o come off tablets completely between bouts.
Each bout got progressively worse though so last couple bouts suicidal and went into hospital.
This time has been lots worse - because menopause lasting a lot longer - been in hospital for 7 weeks and my body has rejected all anti depressants have taken in past so even after 2.5 years the psychiatrist is still trying to find tablets which will give me a lift and help me through this nightmare.
My work is pressured and I had 5 months off and then phased return Dec 2011 - march 2912 when back full time.
However, i put loads weight back on and stopped going out so my knee previously injured 6 years ago in a fall went bad and then walking badly few months meant in Dec having knee operation and then one on other knee in march.
In Nov my boss of 12 years retired and unfortunately everything with IT, new people in office etc have gone wrong since new boss got promoted to the job.
Just gone back to work after 10 weeks off after second knee op and small gynae op to help with hormones and new boss putting lots of pressure on me to not show signs I am ill in office and already talked of redeploying me.
So I bring that stress home so make home life difficult and stopped socialising because this time don't like it.
Trying hard past few months to get out so doing meditation groups and starting from tonight to run a new peer support group in evening so people who work can come and talk about their problems together and get help from each other. I am being helped by the Mental Health Forum so ii have someone who already runs evening groups coming along tonight to support me and make sure first night goes OK.
So end of my story, except to say depression and anxiety are a nightmare to go through. They still have a stigma so hard to find people who help rather than judge or criticise and can bring on all sorts of things like not wanting go out at all, not reading, no memory or concentration etc which puts a real strain on you, your home life and relationships with friends.