My anxiety is ruining my life

[Light]

I'm loosing my head right now. It's got so bad that even when my friends phone I don't wan't to answer, it's ridiculous. I've tried medication but SSRI's just don't seem to work at all. It takes so much to actually go to the doctors it's pathetic. It's got to the point that i'm so depressed I'm actually cutting myself. I can't even wear T-shirts anymore my arms are so cut up. It's embarrassing and worsens my anxiety. I just don't see the point in anything anymore, I feel numb. I feel like crying but can't. I literally feel numb. I know people are going to see this post and think "pull yourself together!" I sound like a whiny teenager etc.. But it's not that. I've felt like this since I was around 15-16 and i'm now 20 it's just getting worse and worse. I just want someone's input on this without having to say it out loud because my mind races when talking to people. It's just so hard to explain. I'm falling away from my sister because of this and I know i'll lose my friends. I don't even think I know who I am anymore. I seriously think i'm screwed because I've tried so much and nothing has worked. The only thing that helps me is alcohol and who wants to be an alcoholic right?

[missmello]

What is it exactly that makes you anxious, and how long has this current bout of anxiety been going on? I know when you are so deep into it, it is difficult to try and convince yourself to do anything, but you really have to force yourself to try and get better, to do things that you normally would avoid. Really push yourself!! I've had anxiety off and on for the past 11 years or so, since I was 17. I know when I hit my rock bottom, I was so fed up with feeling lousy I started getting angry. Angry at the way I was acting, Angry with the way I constantly felt, Angry that I let my anxiety control my life... I wanted my life back! so one day I forced myself to get up, do things, participate in my life. It's YOUR life, you need to live it for yourself!

Do you have a good support system? Have you been seeing professional help? Are you currently on medications right now? These are all things I believe a person needs when they are really at their worst. And there's no shame in using medications or seeking professional help if you really need it. Do it for yourself! When I got really bad I could see myself spiraling out of control and took it upon myself to get the help i needed, because my regular doctor was just not understanding me. Take full advantage of all of your resources, and if the meds you take now are not working make sure you've given them enough time to really work before considering switching to something else.

Next time you get a phone call, answer it! Force yourself! What's the worst that could happen? Nothing! and by the end of the conversation you will feel better about yourself, that you took the first step in changing your bad habits. Go out, do things, be with people you love. You need to switch your thinking.. seize the day, press on, and care about yourself. And yes, this is something you need to snap out of, and you will! Believe that!

[Judie]

I'm loosing my head right now. It's got so bad that even when my friends phone I don't wan't to answer, it's ridiculous. I've tried medication but SSRI's just don't seem to work at all. It takes so much to actually go to the doctors it's pathetic. It's got to the point that i'm so depressed I'm actually cutting myself. I can't even wear T-shirts anymore my arms are so cut up. It's embarrassing and worsens my anxiety. I just don't see the point in anything anymore, I feel numb. I feel like crying but can't. I literally feel numb. I know people are going to see this post and think "pull yourself together!" I sound like a whiny teenager etc.. But it's not that. I've felt like this since I was around 15-16 and i'm now 20 it's just getting worse and worse. I just want someone's input on this without having to say it out loud because my mind races when talking to people. It's just so hard to explain. I'm falling away from my sister because of this and I know i'll lose my friends. I don't even think I know who I am anymore. I seriously think i'm screwed because I've tried so much and nothing has worked. The only thing that helps me is alcohol and who wants to be an alcoholic right?

Hi Light ( I like that name you have chosen reflects, hope and optimism ) You are right alcohol ( self medicating, many alcoholics are just clinically depressed and simply use alcohol as a " temporary" escape. The problem with using alcohol as a method of treatment is that it's an addictive drug and equally as bad it is a depressant, it makes matters far worse in the long ) If anything is going to escalate a Social Anxiety, alcohol will. It sounds like that may be what's going on along with anxiety and depression. Anxiety can be a symptom of simple stress but more often then not the person is clinically depressed and the Anxiety is produced by the mind so that you stop, take notice and work on the depression and its origin. Your cutting ? Cutting is a person's attempt to cope ( poor choice) with depression as the person causes physical pain and releases endorphins ( over feel good hormones ) The release of the endorphins give the sufferer a temporary break from the emotional pain. The problems are obvious cutting is dangerous, you risk infection, scarring, low self esteem and the very real aspect of cutting it is not a solution only a temporary break. Missmello is right, you need to talk ( we can help you with that here on the Forum) and get some medications. There are many SSRI's from which to choose, some work more effectively then others. If they don't work there is the option of Tri-Cyclic Antidepressants, these have been around for a long time and are also effective. Now let's get down to some basics, first the number one way to increase feel good endorphins is with exercise and it also is effective with effectively channelling the adrenaline of an anxiety. Both exercise and anxiety produces a lot of adrenaline, it needs somewhere to go, exercise burns it, anxiety has to process it ( takes longer so actually makes you feel lousy ) That's why the key to stopping anxiety is to stop the adrenaline ( fear hormone, energy ) from being pumped out from the adrenal glands. The adrenaline is secreted in response to that feeling of doom, I am dying, having an attack etc...Boom the Brain responds and sends a a message to the adrenal glands ( located on top of Kidneys ) to pump out adrenaline in preparation of the fight against the impending doom..Ugh Nasty stuff right. Yes we have all been there. You need to stand up to these attacks ( think Bully, the Bully always backs down if someone stands up to them, because they don't get the reaction they desire, fear. Anxiety is the same. ) You are getting worse and worse because you haven't addressed the reason for your depression/anxiety. You need to do two things, first you need to learn coping skills, relaxation apps for learning deep breathing ( do not ignore this it works far better then razor blades ) When you have mastered how to breathe through your anxiety, move on to looking at the attacks as meaningless symptoms that your mind is using your body to produce to terrify you. Why ? Because you aren't paying attention to something that is troubling you and the mind and Body work magnificently together to keep you in balance. The mind's goal is for you to seek help and you have, good for you. I would never think " pull yourself together", someone once said that to me when I was in the midst of a severe panic disorder/depression and I hated that person at that moment. The people on this Forum are here to support, encourage, listen and offer advice on your road to Recovery and yes there is a Road to Recovery. If you take nothing more from my post take this, we are here for you, no cutting it will make matters far worse, no drinking it too will make matters worse for Social Anxiety, Panic and Depression. Be Well, until we talk again. Get to the DR. ( with a friend, reach out, people like to feel good about themselves by helping another )

[cagedbutterfly]

I'm loosing my head right now. It's got so bad that even when my friends phone I don't wan't to answer, it's ridiculous. I've tried medication but SSRI's just don't seem to work at all. It takes so much to actually go to the doctors it's pathetic. It's got to the point that i'm so depressed I'm actually cutting myself. I can't even wear T-shirts anymore my arms are so cut up. It's embarrassing and worsens my anxiety. I just don't see the point in anything anymore, I feel numb. I feel like crying but can't. I literally feel numb. I know people are going to see this post and think "pull yourself together!" I sound like a whiny teenager etc.. But it's not that. I've felt like this since I was around 15-16 and i'm now 20 it's just getting worse and worse. I just want someone's input on this without having to say it out loud because my mind races when talking to people. It's just so hard to explain. I'm falling away from my sister because of this and I know i'll lose my friends. I don't even think I know who I am anymore. I seriously think i'm screwed because I've tried so much and nothing has worked. The only thing that helps me is alcohol and who wants to be an alcoholic right?

I so understand...IM in the same situation