I feel like I am completely losing it...

[law_student]

Sorry if this is long. Trying to make it as short as possible.

For the past two months I have had a pregnancy scare. My significant other and I will probably start a family soon, but we had no plans to start right now. Naturally I've been really anxious about the situation.

I have a severe panic disorder. I was taking home-pregnancy tests left and right. They were all negative. This, however, did not calm my anxiety. Eventually I ended up in the ER because of a panic attack (this was last Monday). They gave me a urine pregnancy test and it was negative. Later that night I had several panic attacks. The next morning I made my boyfriend call in sick to work. We went to a free clinic in Chicago (I have no insurance). At the clinic one test came back positive and one came back negative. They gave me an ultrasound. They found nothing and re-did the urine tests. The tests were both negative. The nurse called the first one a "fluke."

This freaked me out, though. I immediately rushed to my doctor and had a blood test done. It came back negative. I couldn't stop taking home-pregnancy tests, but they all came back negative. She told me to see my gyno.

I saw my gyno on Monday. She gave me a quantitative test which measures the EXACT level of pregnancy hormones. My measurement was a 2. Anyone can have a "2", even men. Anything less than 5 is negative. I was given a prescription to induce my menstrual cycle.

The problem is, I'm STILL worried I am pregnant. I am not convinced, even though all these tests came back negative. I'm afraid to take the medication prescribed because it could be dangerous in pregnant women. I've been afraid to take my Xanax as well. My mind is completely convinced I am pregnant. I'm second guessing EVERYTHING. Maybe the lab performed the wrong test? Maybe they mixed my results with someone else?

Sorry if that was too long. Hopefully some of you will read it.

I just need peace. I haven't slept in weeks.

[dorigen]

Anxiety sufferers need "certainty" as you do with the pregnancy being negative. Unfortunately nothing in life is certain. You sound educated.. do you ever remember hearing about the "Uncertainty Principle" in physics? Even the best scientists in the world can't prove anything for sure because it's impossible..

The best we can ever do is look at the evidence. If 9/10 doctors tell you that you are not pregnant, you probably aren't. Accepting this fact and living with the fear of the minute chance that you may be pregnant is something you will have to do. It is tough, i know, but you must do it.

First, worry out loud. Talk out loud in a mirror about how you "might be pregnant". If you were, talk about all the horrible nasty awful consequences, how your life would change, and what you would do. I am sure once you do this, it will not seem that bad afterall if it were to happen.

Second, stop taking pregnancy tests! Just tell yourself you are not pregnant, and move on. You will feel anxious for a while, but the anxiety will go away in a few minutes, and you will start to get over it. Doing things like taking the preg. test are called "safety behaviors" and they will just prolong your anxiety.