Illusionist210
05-18-2013, 03:31 AM
Hello everyone. I would first like to start off with saying I have been reading many of your posts for days and I would scroll through to read everyone's responses...I have been doing this for months now. The reason is because I too suffer from anxiety/panic disorder/depression and for all I know the list goes on. By reading your posts it made me feel so much better to know that I was not alone in this fight. By reading your posts I started to feel calmer. For all this I THANK YOU ALL.
Now I am not a doctor and I am not over my problems by any means, but I would like to share with you my experiences. I had my very first panic attack in 2008. I've been suffering since then. Others who have suffered longer, I can only pray I am as strong as you are one day. I honestly don't know how you guys do it. You really deserve a standing ovation for putting up with all this. I collapsed outside a local hospital while I was having a panic attack. I had no clue what was wrong. Oh yeah I thought I was dying. Oh and yes there were plenty of tears. I was put on some meds and after a couple years I thought I was fine so I took myself off them. BIG MISTAKE! The anxiety then the panic attacks just kept coming in waves and at the wrong time too...you know during social outings, or with 5 of my exes (all could not handle my issue), at my jobs, and also when going to see friends. I'm not afraid to leave the house or anything, matter of fact, whenever I feel high intense anxiety I like to get in my car and roll windows down and go for a quiet drive through the neighborhood to get some wind on my face and yes it feels like I'm "leaving" my anxiety. I listen to relaxing sounds while driving, if you don't have a CD I recommend getting one. Actually better yet if you have an iPhone there are a bunch of free apps you can get and listen to calming sounds and listen to a person talk you out of the anxiety. Don't confuse the one I'm referring to with the hypnosis apps, they are not the same.
Things have gotten really bad lately to where I have set up an appointment with the doc to get back on the meds. Problem is its not till next month and I don't know what I'm gonna do from now till then. I guess I should also throw in that I picked one hell of a time to quit smoking lol. Again reading your posts has helped subside my anxiety. Maybe it's because I'm diverting my attention from my anxiety by just simply reading. Likewise how some people say to write out your feelings on a notepad...because you are diverting your thoughts away from your anxiety because you have given it something to do. So I came to the conclusion that if I force my brain to do something, my anxiety will decrease. This has worked many times. Again it can be done by just simply reading the posts on this forum.
Now for me what causes my anxiety? Lets just say I am a man of many talents and well they run through my head constantly and I start to worry and then over generalize things that would never happen, but worry to death about it. Sometimes in my calm state I would think back and say "oh dear god why did that even pop into my head". My girlfriend says I'm a worry wart. I kid you not its a word look it up lol. She has been supportive of my issues and very loving and we are expecting our first child in a couple months. That I know is just natural anxiety. It's what I tell myself everyday. Which brings me to my final thought.
When this happened in 2008 I wanted to know anything and everything about what the heck just happened to me. I researched and researched and studied and researched. I made myself knowledgable about my condition. Which the more you know about it, the easier it is to control it....knowledge is power right? Yes I still get my attacks, but now I talk myself through them. Notice I said "through them". Don't try to make it go away. The harder you try the longer it lasts think about it that way or at least it will "feel" longer than what it really should be. Kinda like me saying "for the next 10min don't think about purple elephants"...what happens? Yeah you know what happens lol. Start to think about it right? So let's not go down that road is what I tell myself. I just talk myself through it. Does it suck? Yes! Do I want it to stop right then and there? Yes! But sadly I know that's not gonna happen and I will have to be strong and focus my energy on talking myself through what I'm experiencing. It helps really, that and reading your stories because without you guys honestly I have no clue what the heck to do about my problem. Well that is my story for now lol I hope that this helps all of you. We are in it together. Nobody is alone on this. Always remember.....deep slow breaths.
Now I am not a doctor and I am not over my problems by any means, but I would like to share with you my experiences. I had my very first panic attack in 2008. I've been suffering since then. Others who have suffered longer, I can only pray I am as strong as you are one day. I honestly don't know how you guys do it. You really deserve a standing ovation for putting up with all this. I collapsed outside a local hospital while I was having a panic attack. I had no clue what was wrong. Oh yeah I thought I was dying. Oh and yes there were plenty of tears. I was put on some meds and after a couple years I thought I was fine so I took myself off them. BIG MISTAKE! The anxiety then the panic attacks just kept coming in waves and at the wrong time too...you know during social outings, or with 5 of my exes (all could not handle my issue), at my jobs, and also when going to see friends. I'm not afraid to leave the house or anything, matter of fact, whenever I feel high intense anxiety I like to get in my car and roll windows down and go for a quiet drive through the neighborhood to get some wind on my face and yes it feels like I'm "leaving" my anxiety. I listen to relaxing sounds while driving, if you don't have a CD I recommend getting one. Actually better yet if you have an iPhone there are a bunch of free apps you can get and listen to calming sounds and listen to a person talk you out of the anxiety. Don't confuse the one I'm referring to with the hypnosis apps, they are not the same.
Things have gotten really bad lately to where I have set up an appointment with the doc to get back on the meds. Problem is its not till next month and I don't know what I'm gonna do from now till then. I guess I should also throw in that I picked one hell of a time to quit smoking lol. Again reading your posts has helped subside my anxiety. Maybe it's because I'm diverting my attention from my anxiety by just simply reading. Likewise how some people say to write out your feelings on a notepad...because you are diverting your thoughts away from your anxiety because you have given it something to do. So I came to the conclusion that if I force my brain to do something, my anxiety will decrease. This has worked many times. Again it can be done by just simply reading the posts on this forum.
Now for me what causes my anxiety? Lets just say I am a man of many talents and well they run through my head constantly and I start to worry and then over generalize things that would never happen, but worry to death about it. Sometimes in my calm state I would think back and say "oh dear god why did that even pop into my head". My girlfriend says I'm a worry wart. I kid you not its a word look it up lol. She has been supportive of my issues and very loving and we are expecting our first child in a couple months. That I know is just natural anxiety. It's what I tell myself everyday. Which brings me to my final thought.
When this happened in 2008 I wanted to know anything and everything about what the heck just happened to me. I researched and researched and studied and researched. I made myself knowledgable about my condition. Which the more you know about it, the easier it is to control it....knowledge is power right? Yes I still get my attacks, but now I talk myself through them. Notice I said "through them". Don't try to make it go away. The harder you try the longer it lasts think about it that way or at least it will "feel" longer than what it really should be. Kinda like me saying "for the next 10min don't think about purple elephants"...what happens? Yeah you know what happens lol. Start to think about it right? So let's not go down that road is what I tell myself. I just talk myself through it. Does it suck? Yes! Do I want it to stop right then and there? Yes! But sadly I know that's not gonna happen and I will have to be strong and focus my energy on talking myself through what I'm experiencing. It helps really, that and reading your stories because without you guys honestly I have no clue what the heck to do about my problem. Well that is my story for now lol I hope that this helps all of you. We are in it together. Nobody is alone on this. Always remember.....deep slow breaths.