I lost my temper today...am I crazy? Please read and respond

[mglover92]

I am going to make a long story short. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I am 21 years old so we met each other when we were both 16. Well throughout these 5 years there would always be a time when my girlfriend is constantly put down. Her mom is verbally abusive towards her. Always has been and always finds ways to make her feel like shit. So these past 2 days I have noticed that my girlfriend was not being herself. She was not eating, she could not sleep, and she would not talk to me. She was very short and very quiet and this was not like her at all. It took about 10 minutes but I finally got her to open up and she started balling out in tears crying like there was no tomorrow.. She kept saying nobody likes her, everyone she is friends with leaves her, that her mom hates her (wouldn't surprise me), and she constantly kept feeling guilty all the time and blaming her self for things. Now I finally managed to calm her down after about an hour. Seeing her like upset me so much. I cried while holding her in my arms telling her everything was going to be okay and that I love her more than anything. She means the world to me. She tells me that she has been googling symptoms for depression. This really shocked me. Usually she tells me these things but she told me she had not recently because she does not want me to worry (i have OCD, it sucks) Anyways...I finally managed to calm her down, I got her to smile and be happy and later that night is where all hell broke loose and where we are today...

That night, I left her house and she was happy. I pretty much had fixed everything that was wrong and made her happy. Well soon as I get home i get a call from her and she was IN TEARS. ALL I DID ALL NIGHT COMFORTING HER MAKING HER LAUGH AND SMILE WENT OUT THE WINDOW. She was panicking and having a panic attack crying to me about mean comments her mother said towards her. Folks please keep in mind she has put up with this for years and enough is enough.

the comments were as follows

1. You are a disgrace to the family, you havent graduated from college yet
2. You are disgracing the family and everyone says bad things about you behind your back
3. You have no friends
4. You are an embarrassment.


folks that was my fucking breaking point. When she told me that I punched and left a dent in my steel closet door. I constantly over and over and over again just punched my closet door out of frustration and anger because I hate bully's. I pretended the door was her face and just wham and beat the shit out of it and screamed. I hate how everything I did went out the window! I CANT JUST STAND HERE AND LET MY GF BE MENTALLY ABUSED. WE ALL KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE TORMENTED, CALLED NAMES! how could a mother say that to her own daughter? Her own flesh and blood? what if those were the last words you ever said to your daughter and she was dead the next minute? She is the reason why my GF is coming down with depression. She is the reason why she has anxiety, the words are constantly driving her self esteem down and it is effecting me also. I am the only one who is there for her. The constant negative comments are finally taking its toll on her.

Now I know i shouldn't of punched my door, but all throughout the day this did nothing but pissed me off and i needed to let it out. All in my head throughout the day was violent thoughts of literally murdering this woman. I am not a insane person and I dont think about violence ever but she triggered it and set me off. I finally managed to calm down a little bit as a i write this but the more I think about it the more its setting me off. A disease that I have been struggling with for 2 years is about to come down on my love and its all because her mother cant keep her mouth shut. If she could just say nice things to her and help her and lift her up this problem wouldnt even fucking exist.

So i texted her and let her have a piece of my mind. I dont need to go in to detail of that. but when my GF got home her mom was in tears, crying about the things I said (Like I give a shit, how does it feel now bitch?) And she finally apologized to my GF for what she said. (she has never apologized for anything before) And she finally did. so mission fucking complete. but now shes still upset about what I said...and to be honest I really do not care. She deserved every bit of it.


Honestly what do you guys think of this? I NEVER NEVER NEVER went into a rage like I did today. I have never ever had crazy violent thoughts like I did today of murdering this woman. I think I have only done this sort of rage thing once in my life. So all together it has happened twice in my life. Am I crazy? how would you of reacted to this? I just cant stand it anymore. We have both put up with it for so long and now she finally knows how it feels. One of the comments I made towards her was that she belongs in a asylum because shes fucking insane for saying those things. That is what made her cry. And honestly I feel pretty proud because Karma is a bitch and it came around and know she knows how it feels to be made fun of.

So am I crazy? Because now my OCD literally thinks I am.....I couldnt step foot near her house anymore because my heart would beat fast and I would get crazy panic..

also picture of me and my GF for those who are curious

http://i39.tinypic.com/300tyf7.jpg

[smoore]

You're not crazy.. A little OCD but not crazy. Lol. Sometimes enough is enough. You had a breaking point with your GF mom. Bless her heart. I don't know what you said to her mom but good for you for sticking up for your GF and made her mom cry. Everyone has a breaking point and can only put up with so much and tonight you reached yours.

[mglover92]

I told her shes insane and needs to be locked in a asylum...harsh but its true. Thanks..but yea today was just horrible.

[jessed03]

I went into a similar blind rage when my OCD and anxiety were playing up. You've been a patient guy, and you saw someone over step the mark once too many times.

I get how it would make your OCD flare up, doesn't sound like a nice thing to be involved in at all. From the bits we've spoken, you seem a good hearted guy, I have no worries for you or your sanity lol. It's something that happened when you got pushed too far.

Infact, I'd take it the opposite way, I don't think you need to be reassured, rather commended. You stuck up for somebody you loved. That takes guts, doesn't matter what the situation. If we were buddies, I'd feel more than confident you'd have my back. Try and get back into a good place now, and continue your recovery, don't let this stress you out too much. Be well!

[mglover92]

I went into a similar blind rage when my OCD and anxiety were playing up. You've been a patient guy, and you saw someone over step the mark once too many times.

I get how it would make your OCD flare up, doesn't sound like a nice thing to be involved in at all. From the bits we've spoken, you seem a good hearted guy, I have no worries for you or your sanity lol. It's something that happened when you got pushed too far.

Infact, I'd take it the opposite way, I don't think you need to be reassured, rather commended. You stuck up for somebody you loved. That takes guts, doesn't matter what the situation. If we were buddies, I'd feel more than confident you'd have my back. Try and get back into a good place now, and continue your recovery, don't let this stress you out too much. Be well!

Thanks brother. Staying strong over here. Just trying to occupy time for everything to recover. Was doing very well up to this point. lol. Were all going to make it!! =D I gotcha back!

[MrsJ88]

Props to you for taking up for your girl. Most men will not do this.

[smoore]

Couldn't have said it better myself!! Lol we are all going to make it ;)

[smoore]

Props to you for taking up for your girl. Most men will not do this.

You are so right!

[mglover92]

here is a picture of me and my girlfriend for you awesome folks out there!

http://i39.tinypic.com/300tyf7.jpg

[Judie]

mglover92, Calm down a bit there is a legal term called " crime of passion" when someone goes into a temporary insanity rage, you may have just hit that. How's the hand ? Yes, there is a breaking point and isn't it odd that we can always defend the ones we love but not always defend ourselves ( perhaps low self esteem, don't love ourselves) Bullies ( like your GF's mom) are very unhappy people and her behavior is " learned", she most likely too has been verbally abused by her parents or spouse. Abuse of any kind is learned and cycled, it doesn't stop until it is consciously changed. You drawing that to her attention, may have been painful for her but necessary. Mothers and daughters in the age bracket of your GF'S often have very turbulent fights. A lot of this is transient and passes in time, but of course if this has been going on since she was a child then that's an entirely different story. Regardless no one should say such hurtful things to another human being. Your OCD is going to work overtime now, let it go, the mission was accomplished. At some point, to keep the peace and calm your anxiety you too may want to apologize to her. What ?????? Apologize to her ????? Yes, Why because meeting negative with negative does not form positive, it forms negative for all of you. But , you can do this with control and dignity and make your point...Like this. I apologize, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that but I was so hurt when I saw how upset my GF was. I don't want to see your relationship with her damaged permanently. Please accept my apology and know that your daughter means the world to me. You see if her mother is truly the bully you believe she is then she most likely has never been treated with respect either. Learned behavior ( bad behavior) needs to be unlearned by example. Also blood relationships ( parent-child) are strong connections ( even in abusive relationships). It would be best if you could smooth this over for all concerned. I am confident there will be positive results as you have made your point. Good Luck !

[mglover92]

mglover92, Calm down a bit there is a legal term called " crime of passion" when someone goes into a temporary insanity rage, you may have just hit that. How's the hand ? Yes, there is a breaking point and isn't it odd that we can always defend the ones we love but not always defend ourselves ( perhaps low self esteem, don't love ourselves) Bullies ( like your GF's mom) are very unhappy people and her behavior is " learned", she most likely too has been verbally abused by her parents or spouse. Abuse of any kind is learned and cycled, it doesn't stop until it is consciously changed. You drawing that to her attention, may have been painful for her but necessary. Mothers and daughters in the age bracket of your GF'S often have very turbulent fights. A lot of this is transient and passes in time, but of course if this has been going on since she was a child then that's an entirely different story. Regardless no one should say such hurtful things to another human being. Your OCD is going to work overtime now, let it go, the mission was accomplished. At some point, to keep the peace and calm your anxiety you too may want to apologize to her. What ?????? Apologize to her ????? Yes, Why because meeting negative with negative does not form positive, it forms negative for all of you. But , you can do this with control and dignity and make your point...Like this. I apologize, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that but I was so hurt when I saw how upset my GF was. I don't want to see your relationship with her damaged permanently. Please accept my apology and know that your daughter means the world to me. You see if her mother is truly the bully you believe she is then she most likely has never been treated with respect either. Learned behavior ( bad behavior) needs to be unlearned by example. Also blood relationships ( parent-child) are strong connections ( even in abusive relationships). It would be best if you could smooth this over for all concerned. I am confident there will be positive results as you have made your point. Good Luck !

Excellent advice Judie. The hand is fine. I actually feel bad for hitting my closet after... I already sent her an apology text earlier but am willing to do it face to face if thats what she wants. I dont want this thing going any further than it already has. There is no need for it. You are right about the negative and negative thing. It only forms a negative. I had to stick up to her. I couldnt live seeing my GF like this anymore.

[Lin]

It is so easy to get really angry with depression and in the past I have known myself just hit my head continuously against a wall just because I was so angry and frustrated.

I take everything out on my husband and in the summer he has to shut the windows I scream so loudly.

It is so much easier to snap and scream than it is to put in the techniques we are taught to calm down. Stepping back for just a minute and thinking before acting is so difficult in some situations.

Me and my husband have been married for 28 years but the last 2.5 years have been my worse bout of depression and has seriously strained our relationship so that I see hatred in his eyes at times. Luckily he has been determined not to let my illness break up our marriage so has put up with all my horrible ways. Sometimes he loses the plot and mocks me and critcises me or shouts, but it is usually because I have pushed him so far he has to release it as well.

Relationships really suffer when one of you have depression or anxiety, and it can be very isolating because you feel that even someone you have lived with for many years does not understand you, so there is no chance anyone else is going to, or even bother to. The more isolated you get the more frustrating it gets, and so worse at home.

One big vicious circle which we can learn techniques like meditation and mindfulness to help break, but learning to put them into practice rather than flipping is very difficult.

[MrsJ88]

She is beautiful!!!

[jessed03]

She is beautiful!!!

She really is!

Does she suffer from anxiety Mglover? Or was it just this event that made her feel real bad?