Need a little perspective

[Mrsbadcrumble]

Hi

I'm a new member here and just needed some space to get this out.

I'm 36 and live in the UK. I've suffered from periods of Anxiety and Depression since I was about 16. I'm currently signed off work with a particularly bad episode of anxiety, I have agreed that I be signed back to work at the end of the month as I do feel I need to get back to some sort of normality, but I'm just so fed up of being so scared. I don't answer the phone unless it's someone I don't want to talk to...likewise the door. The smallest thing still makes me scared but I've got so used to hiding it over the years that I feel that no one can see how bad things are, and don't really believe that there's anything wrong with me

I know I need to learn to cope, and not just that, but to begin to look forward to my life. I have a good life (generally) with an amazing family, a loving husband. When I'm rational, I know all this. I even know it when I'm being irrational but it doesn't make a bit of difference. How do I go about stopping the feeling that every time I take another step my whole world is going to collapse round my ears?

I know this is a ramble and I apologise for making little sense, but I really need to get some perspective, or at least get my thoughts in order!

xx

[Stephen Joseph]

Hello Mrsbadcrumble.

There's no need to apologise at all. It's good you are sharing your thoughts and fears with other people, on here. I know from experience this can help a lot.

In order to reduce and then stop the apprehension and fear, you need to adjust how your brain responds to outside pressures. I'm guessing, like most people who suffer from anxiety (including my story), that you have unintentionally built a catalogue of inappropriate emotional memories connected to certain situations and scenarios. Everyone does but in some people this can lead to disorders such as anxiety or depression.

The positive news is that the way your brain responds to things can be changed and the negative emotional memories that fuel anxious reactions can be changed and evolved into more positive reactions and behaviours. This really is the key to reducing and then beating anxiety, as I found out personally.

Feeling scared all or most of the time is a terrible thing. I remember I would wake up feeling like I had tumbled into hell and it would take until the evening hours for my mind to calm down somewhat. A lot of it is irrational but that doesn't change the horror of the fears.

But it can be fixed and you can improve. You just need to find the right method of adjusting your brain's responses over a period of time.

You'll be ok. Getting back to work will be good, even if the anxiety is bad. It will distract you from your fears and worries.