I cant handle it anymore!!!

[M.C]

Here we go again I m going throughthe same stress and worry again
I m having pain at the top of my stomach my GP thought it might be an infection so I done a stool sample it came back clear
Now she wants me to do an ultrasound on my stomach because it might be gull stones
She said if it comes clear then I have to accept that it s anxiety
I haven't received the form yet to get it done and I m in such a state I m crying and thinking about my kids worrying about the baby I m expecting
I almost convinced my self that I m going to die and leave 3 kids behind
I m sick of this crap anxiety
I can't take any meds for it I can't cope with it I don't know what to do

[GLouLouAdams]

First off M.C. Breathe....... Take a breath and try and put things in perspective. U are not going to die because u have anxiety, all the books tell us that. Unfortunately they don't tell u how hard it is to live ur life with it. If u accept it, it might get easier??? Share with ur loved ones, it might help relieve the pressure and stress ur going through.
Ur not alone. :-)

[M.C]

I do feel alone and I do feel like an idiot if I tell someone I m crying because of an ultrasound test it s so ridiculous and pathetic I would have thought the same back in the days when I was a normal person
You and I and our community you know it s not about the test itself it's far beyond that its where our thoughts lead us and park
It's how vicious they can get and the torture they make us undergo
Normal people would not understand that so why bother

[GLouLouAdams]

We are normal. It's normal to cry and unfortunately it is becoming the norm for people to suffer with stress and anxiety. My family are completely aware of everything I go through and there are plenty I times that I have broken down in tears coz I could t take it anymore. They are on my side and they want me to get better. Try it. It's not right keeping things bottled up. It makes it worse. No one is looking at u like ur an idiot. Honest. If ur family loves u, as I am sure they do, they would not want u to suffer in silence.

[M.C]

I don't why I keep on feeling this way whenever I go for a test or a scan I get very anxious and fall in tears
And the check ups always come clear
So I go through the stress for no reason
Even if the results come positive would worrying change anything
It won't for sure
So why stress???
I suppose because it s in my genes now!!!
I know my family members love me but they re unable to feel for me
Not because they don't have any feelings not at all it s because they don't know what it is?how it feels? And what it can do to you?
Right now it s destroying me and everything around me

[Stephen Joseph]

M.C. I know it's very difficult. You're in the right company though on this forum. People who understand your fears all too well.

I think you have to see reducing your anxiety in such situations as a long-term strategy, rather than fixing the anxiety right now. There's not much you can do about the anxiety you have over these tests you're having, but you can begin to work on your fears and reactions for when you have situations in the future. And that can be done, as numerous people have managed to do. You can change how you react to situations and how your brain and body responds. There are a number of methods you can use to achieve this and which you'll need to discover.

Genes are genes but I don't think they play as an important role in anxiety as many people think.

For now MC, try to rationalise your fears, and know that your problems are related to anxiety and not something serious, otherwise the doctors would have found something by now. Try to distract yourself when you have the worries about death and health matters. Throw yourself into an activity which you know will occupy your mind, even if you are crying, shaking and feeling fear at the same time. By doing this you'll realise that you can keep going and that anxiety will not destroy you. This takes will-power but it's an effective thing to do.

But above all, don't worry, you can improve your situation concerning anxiety. You don't always have to feel this way.

[GLouLouAdams]

Everyone feels that way about scans etc. I had major operation on my foot ten weeks ago. U should have seen my face when the nurse told my mum she couldn't wait with me. I made sure that she stayed but I was in complete terror when I thought I was on my own. They tried to keep me in over night but I wasn't having that. Have u had any counselling. I had CBT about 3 years ago an it did help.

[raggamuffin]

I had stomach pains every hour of every day for 2 months solid. had all sorts of tests done and medications prescribed. One day I just said to myself. "It's anxiety" I kept with that thought and didn't get carried away with emotional worry about the pain or "What if'" with rgeards to what it could be. Within 48 hours the pains disappeared and never returned.

Worrying about it only makes symptoms worse. Wait for the scan, i'm sure everything will be fine. once the results come in start to try and read more about anxiety, understand it. With knowledge about anxiety you remove the fear and worry that anxiety feeds off in your life.

Ed

[Lin]

MC you do need to learn to take control of your anxiety as much as you can, you have got into such a vicious circle and you need to break it. Decide that you are only going to worry about things you are told you definitely have wrong with you and let all the rest go. You just can't worry about what ifs. Just deal with the real things.
Start to learn to do deep breathing exercises and meditation to calm yourself down, or if can't do that, find some music which calms you down.
Once you find something to help calm you it will all start to feel less anxious and so panicky.
Start to take care of yourself by stopping the unnecessary worry and pamper yourself and make yourself feel relaxed as much as you possibly can.
I hope you can.

[M.C]

9 months ago my lung collapsed out of the blue

I had 3 sists and one of them ruptured so I needed an operation I thought I was dying at a time but I didn't I contracted health anxiety when I started having similar pain and I thought it was another collapse or something worse but it wasn't
Then started having the stomach pain coming and going every now and then
I worried about them but my therapist told me to ignore them which I did and they got better but didn't vanish
Before I found out I was pregnant they came back so I got very depressed so went to my GP to get some tablets I thought may be they will help taking away the physical sensations so I can have some relief
The next day I found out I was pregnant
I didn't know whether to be happy or miserable
I can't take the tablets and more likely to have the same complications I had in the previous pregnancy(diabetes and pre eclampsia )
I'm almost at the end of the CBT course and I should technically know how to deal with all this crap I m going through but I'm failing to do so

[M.C]

I was talking to my husband and said wish someone can wash away my memory
And he said why don't try hypnotherapy
It s quiet expensive and the NHS don't pay for it
But I don't mind if it s going to help
Any suggestions from those who tried it

[Lin]

Not put yourself down about CBT. I have learned so many techniques and still can't stop that minute and use them instead of just flipping and screaming.
Start to look at positives of what you have done, even trying CBT when feeling so I'll is really brave. Pat yourself on back for trying it.
Start to only worry over what you have to.
But definitely try see Dr and get your tablets sorted, that would take away one worry straight away.

[M.C]

I was talking to my husband and said wish someone can wash away my memory And he said why don't try hypnotherapy It s quiet expensive and the NHS don't pay for it But I don't mind if it s going to help Any suggestions from those who tried it

[Lin]

I have friends who as hypnotherapy really good and worked well for them.
I have regular reflexology and find that covers everything if you find a good person. My Dr even impressed by what my reflexoligist managed to do for me. They can also improve your mood as well as work on your illnesses.

[M.C]

She said I can't take them
so I have to go by It

[M.C]

What is it about?

[M.C]

It s quiet complicated to apply any of it when I m in total panic and my common sense is shut down
You re very right but what I luck is putting theories into practise
I manage to feel ok. For few days but then I m pulled down the hole again
I m eating ok even though I get heart burn I drink lots of water and have my 5 a day
I m working part time to keep myself busy and distracted
I don't do any relaxation because I don't how to do it and I don't have time
As soon as I come back from school I m doing house work and cooking
Plz could you give the links to the websites you mentioned
Thx

[M.C]

I feel so ashamed because I need to try harder

So far all I been doing is running away from it because I don't have the guts to face it
I get depressed over anything and everything and sit there and cry like my 2 years old
I m looking for constant reassurance either from professionals or family members
This sums up what I m doing to adresse this issue
I m not doing the right thing I know that and I m hiding behind the excuse that it s hard to put things to practise
Everyone telling me you need to pull your socks off and get out of this
It s time to do things right so I m gonna take your advice and make time for relaxation and more
Thank you very much

[Judie]

Everything in life takes time, Anxiety/ Depression are insidious in their onset. Everyone believes it comes out of the blue, it doesn't, it builds for a period of time. Well anything that grows over a period of time, shrinks over a period of time as well. You are all are making strides, but setbacks ( a bad day, a trigger ) gnaw at your self confidence and allow negative thought to crowd your mind. Negative thought feeds the anxiety, you need to refocus your thoughts. I know many may get annoyed with my constant reiteration of applying positive thoughts and especially changing your thought process away from the anxiety, but it is your best defense to stand up to the anxiety ( the bully) Hypnotherapy is tricky, anxiety sufferers tend to want to control situations and may fight against being hypnotized. That being said ( being a Panic Disorder person) recently I got an APP for weight loss and I am enjoying it. It's tough, your mind still gets crowded with other thoughts but the one I have gently tells you that's ok but to bring yourself back to her voice. It's definitely worth a try. Lots of APPS out there. The one I have is for weight loss and i started two days ago. I will say that thoughts do pop into my head about making better food choices etc, so we shall see. Certainly worth a try.

[M.C]

I was about to take citalopram then I found out I was pregnant so my GP said to not take anything at the moment

[Judie]

Yes citalopram is not a good idea when pregnant, especially early pregnancy. Hormones are all over the place right now, so keep in mind that can escalate depression and anxiety. That might be a good idea if you can contribute some of the mood disorder to the pregnancy ( things always seem easier when there is a reason for something getting worse). Things should get better in your 2nd trimester. When you talk to your Dr. Ask him about the Omega 3s ( fish oil) It has been proven to be effective in treating both anxiety and depression. The Omega 3 are your heart and brain vitamins. They are used to treat depression, anxiety, ADHD, and Alzheimer's. Personally this is all I use for depression and anxiety ( 2,000 mg daily- odorless and keep refrigerated ). After having been on low doses of SSRI's for 10 years I will honestly say that Omega 3's are as effective. See what your DR has to say and consider it as an adjunct to whatever therapy you use. This is such a difficult time for you, I sincerely hope you can find joy in the baby. Whatever happened to you and the scars that have resulted are inevitably part of you but they are only part of you they are not all of you. It is the past and none of us can change that but the future that's your baby, you, your husband all of you and the endless possibilities. I remember worrying that I would have a postpartum depression because of the Panic Disorder, I never did. My Panic would surface after prolonged stress and never during acute stress but rather later ( weeks, months) Do you have other children? Your husband sounds supportive, mine is as well. It's so hard on both of you but it will improve. Darkest before dawn, maybe you are past the darkest ?
Sometimes we are too close to situation ( wrapped up in fear ) to realize that we are moving forward. The mind takes awhile, sometimes lots of trauma to affirmatively decide its had enough, so it's reasonable to assume it needs time to heal. Please know that with yourself,your husband, DRs and people on this Forum you have all the strength, support and guidance you need to get through this situation. Be Well, Get some rest.

[M.C]

I have 2 kids already a girl 6 1/2 and a little boy 2 1/2
I didn't plan for this baby it just happened
My great worry is this baby inheriting all the sorrow and depression I m going through at the moment
My husband has a different approach in supporting me he s not a kind of person who will tap me in the back and say you ll get through it
He tries to push me forward like everyone else
But sometimes I feel under pressure because I can't meet their expectations
I will ask my GP about the Omega3 if I m allowed I ll try it there s no harm in that
I m just going to wait for the scan with the hope that everything is going to be fine

[Judie]

Everything will be fine with the scan I am confident with that. Well I can understand why you were apprehensive about a third child while battling anxiety/ depression. I truly believe thinks will calm down as you move further through the pregnancy. Your Dr may say it's fine to take the Omega 3's but also may be unaware of their value with depression and anxiety. This is where you need to trust those that have actually used it.. Well your husband is a good support system in that people with anxiety do need to be pushed in anxiety but sometimes that push needs to come from within and can be " hard" when it comes from others. I would explain that to him and say how grateful you are for his support but that you need to figure out your best strategy for dealing. I can imagine how you must have so many mixed emotions, try very hard not to feel bad or any guilt about the apprehension of the new baby, you are tired and down period. Honestly think about it, it might be a little "crazy" if you weren't apprehensive.. Make sure you voice your opinion to others about feeling pressure and that you are working toward solutions. That you appreciate their support but need time to figure things out. The baby won't be effected by this, don't worry about that,,it just is adding another obsessive thought to the long list anxiety throws at us. M.C. You are under NO obligation to meet anyone's expectations but your own. Anyone who suffers Panic Disorder / Depression/ PTSD whatever already have " high expectations, self imposed perfection that they never meet because they are simply too high. No one meets those limits, they are not attainable. Years of abuse or trauma put us in a mindset of " not being good enough". Fight that, it's simply not true. Hang in there, your plate's full right now. Be well, get some rest ( if you can) You know I just read your posts again,,your CBT I would imagine has treated you coping strategies but has it addressed that you are just plain scared by the Collapsed Lung and previous bouts with preeclampsia and diabetes in your pregnancies. These aren't imagined fears, these are rooted in a conditioned response to something in your life that jeopardized your health. But here is where you need to look at logic to help you through, you are being watched closely by your DR for the preeclampsia and the diabetes. This will all work out, just know that you wouldn't be alone in your thought process, anyone of sound mind and body would be feeling stressed by this. Given the apprehension about the diabetes, preeclampsia anxiety and the reality of fluctuating pregnancy hormones, this isn't Ma Carousel , this is a Roller Roller Coaster. Hang in there, it will be fine, just a bit of a journey at's all.

[M.C]

Thank you ever so much for your concern and support
Really appreciate it

[half2teach]

It is lonely when your loved ones want to help us but don't know how because they have never experienced the feeling of panic attacks. I am a grown woman and my sister and dad don't know how to help me.

[M.C]

You re absolutely right how can some1 help if they re unable to understand and feel what you re feeling
It s ridiculous because people don't know how serious it is and the damage it leaves behind
But luckily we have this forum full of individuals who can relate to what you re going through and can offer you support and advice

[Judie]

That's right anxiety tends to be one of those "isolating" things that happen in life, putting a brick wall between you and the world. I know it feels like that, it did for me as well. But you really aren't alone and people do know exactly how you feel right down to the feeling of horrific doom that this is the end. Everyone on this forum has felt that very same debilitating feeling. Sometimes all we need in life is to know that another has walked our very same path.I used to get annoyed with people for " not" getting it and then I thought of all the things I just don't get in life, right down to obsession with feet lol. You have found people who get it, all's good with that. Check that one off. How are you feeling with the pregnancy ? Get some rest.

[M.C]

Yesterday I was feeling very low and lucking energy just felt like crying which I did about 6 times every time I thought about the pain in my stomach and what it could be
Today I feel a lot better i managed to cook a meal for my family and do few things in the house
And I was ok at work too

[M.C]

Thank you for asking

How are you?

[Judie]

Hi M.C. I had trouble with my stomach all winter. There are things you can safely do while pregnant. Anxiety increases the level of acidity so you " must" have food on your stomach, even if you can just stomach crackers for now. If you have an empty someone the acid will start gnawing on your stomach lining. This will cause an erosion ( a small stomach ulcer. Is the pain in the center of your upper abdomen ? Yes it can be your Gallbladder but that's ok too, just watch " high fat " foods. Don't panic, this is fixable. I think it is probably high acid from the anxiety ( number one cause of stomach pain in someone with anxiety, also perhaps just plain heartburn from the baby ? Ask your Dr if you can take an acid reducer, I am sure they will at least allow you to take TUMS, in fact they encourage it here ( U.S) as it does contain calcium as well. Hey listen I have had 3 Breast surgical biopsies for breast cancer. All were benign but the stress that damn near killed me. I truly understand your fear but you need to look at logic when faced with fear. My surgeries were benign and you will be fine as well. The baby will be find and if you are concerned about your moods effecting him/her try listening to some uplifting tunes like " It's A Wonderful World" Trust me the baby will be just fine, Heroin Addicts have healthy children every day ( although I certainly don't recommend this), so some anxiety and depression in "your mind" ( not the baby's ) is going to be just fine. Did all of this anxiety start with the cysts scare in your lungs or do you believe there were other stresses as well ? Be well...Get some rest !!!!

[M.C]

Hi Judie

It s very thoughtful of you to care about me
I m very sorry to know that you went through cancer just the idea if it petrifies me
The anxiety started the very first day I was in A&E while they were fitting a chest drain I was thinking this is it I m dying now
It took me few days in hospital to realise it wasn't a dream it was real
Then things didn't work out for me (the air leak wouldn't stop) so I needed a surgery( bullectomy )
I still remember that day as it happened yesterday
I was sitting in the bed waiting for someone to take me to the theatre thinking I m not going to make it
I could see episodes of my life since I was a kid till that particular time as if I was watching a movie
After that I had 2 chest drains then they removed one and discharged me with the other
I was so skinny(43kg) so sick and had no energy
I had a wound infection so they had to remove the chest drain and admitted me in hospital for an IV treatment
The wound took 2 months to heal
Within that time I was having severe back pain
And moments where I get these weird sensations( heart palpitations dizziness short breath chest pain feeling of passing out...) and thought I m dying
So I would rush to A&E and my pulse is 124
They will do ECG X-ray blood test and then send me home
Kept doing that for couple times till I became very popular in A&E
Once one of the medical doctors told me about anxiety and CBT
That was the last time they saw me there
I still get the urge of going there and getting checked but I hold my self
I don't know but I have so much guilt inside me for whatever I done in my life
I feel that I m very ill or I m going to get very ill in the future ( terminal illness of course)
Just the thought of catching something taking medicine staying in hospital having a surgery etc scares the hell out of me
The pain in my stomach is pretty weird
It s a throbbing pain at the top of my tummy that would last for a fraction of a second and comes goes every now then
I had it when I was diagnosed with health anxiety last October
Sometimes the pain is under my ribs the right hand side where I had the surgery and it feels as if it s sore
The pain don't feel as if its coming from deep
But still worries me
Yesterday I was pretty depressed so it was on and off today I m pretty relaxed and I didn't get it
It s strange
I made a promise to my self that this ultrasound scan is the last test I m gonna do no more
Tell me about your self?
Sometimes when you listen to people's problems Yours feel lighter and insignificant

[Lin]

Hi Judie

It s very thoughtful of you to care about me
I m very sorry to know that you went through cancer just the idea if it petrifies me
The anxiety started the very first day I was in A&E while they were fitting a chest drain I was thinking this is it I m dying now
It took me few days in hospital to realise it wasn't a dream it was real
Then things didn't work out for me (the air leak wouldn't stop) so I needed a surgery( bullectomy )
I still remember that day as it happened yesterday
I was sitting in the bed waiting for someone to take me to the theatre thinking I m not going to make it
I could see episodes of my life since I was a kid till that particular time as if I was watching a movie
After that I had 2 chest drains then they removed one and discharged me with the other
I was so skinny(43kg) so sick and had no energy
I had a wound infection so they had to remove the chest drain and admitted me in hospital for an IV treatment
The wound took 2 months to heal
Within that time I was having severe back pain
And moments where I get these weird sensations( heart palpitations dizziness short breath chest pain feeling of passing out...) and thought I m dying
So I would rush to A&E and my pulse is 124
They will do ECG X-ray blood test and then send me home
Kept doing that for couple times till I became very popular in A&E
Once one of the medical doctors told me about anxiety and CBT
That was the last time they saw me there
I still get the urge of going there and getting checked but I hold my self
I don't know but I have so much guilt inside me for whatever I done in my life
I feel that I m very ill or I m going to get very ill in the future ( terminal illness of course)
Just the thought of catching something taking medicine staying in hospital having a surgery etc scares the hell out of me
The pain in my stomach is pretty weird
It s a throbbing pain at the top of my tummy that would last for a fraction of a second and comes goes every now then
I had it when I was diagnosed with health anxiety last October
Sometimes the pain is under my ribs the right hand side where I had the surgery and it feels as if it s sore
The pain don't feel as if its coming from deep
But still worries me
Yesterday I was pretty depressed so it was on and off today I m pretty relaxed and I didn't get it
It s strange
I made a promise to my self that this ultrasound scan is the last test I m gonna do no more
Tell me about your self?
Sometimes when you listen to people's problems Yours feel lighter and insignificant

Dear MC

Sounds like you are doing well, even if only for part of days you can keep your anxiety levels low or lower then you are winning. Any small time of being better is a good sign.

It is very difficult to get health issues out of your head, and very easy for your anxiety to feed off them, we usually need to completely know that we do not have the physical health issue so that at last our brains will let us put it into perspective and get on with the job of being anxious about other things in our life!

Hope you are feeling better today, and always PM if ever need to, always willing to talk.

Lin

[Judie]

No I did not go through cancer, I went through 3 surgical biopsies because cancer was suspected I did not have it BUT when you go back for a Post OP mammography and they say " Ithink we should do another biopsy in another spot well it does get a little scary. The true anxiety comes after when you are waiting for pathology. What I was saying M.C was often we spend a lot of time with needless worry ( like me and everything turned out OK ) My mom died of cancer so , like you , I get a little unnerved when it comes to testing. I have a good feeling about you and your baby. Do you mind me asking when you are due ? I think second trimester will bring a better frame of mind :) The breast biopsies had nothing to do with the surfacing of my anxiety. My Panic Disorder surfaced many years ago. I was 28, single, great life. I had gone to St. Croix to visit a friend a met a guy from Texas. I just fell so in love, but it was odd the night before I met him I had sat on the porch outside and got very very sad ( perhaps a premonition ? ) Anyway That wasn't too much like me to get down, especially with no reason, so I forgot about that night. We spent three wonderful weeks together before I flew back to Boston and we agreed he would come to visit six weeks later. When I got home my mother looked thinner. I lived about 100 miles away but I would come up to play golf weekly, she began cancelling ( not like her, she was an avid golfer and very good ) Any way on April 30th she was diagnosed with Liver Cancer and we were told she had four months. She was without a doubt the best friend I ever had or will ever have.My mother said to me two days before Doug was coming " When is he coming " ? and I said Friday, her reply was " I don't think I'm going to make it. She did, she died in my arms the day after he arrived. We of course didn't survive the trauma, as his mom got sick and he had to go back to Texas. But here's the thing I truly believe he was given to me for that moment in time, to help me through an unbearable time. Over the course of the next year my life transformed as I tried to fill her shoes. I was no longer that carefree single girl, now I was caring for my dad. People don't like that person that attempts to fill the void, they are angry at the person who has died and that gets directed at you. I was told this would happen and my brothers and Dad ( who did later came to truly appreciate me ) really were hard. One brother is schizophrenic and prone to outbursts of anger, screaming etc ( I could go into it but I won't ) my other brother was an alcoholic/addict that continued deeper and deeper. He ( whom I was once very close to began with " Nobody likes you, you're a loser, If I am in the same shape as you at 30 I hope somebody kills me " I never took that from anyone in my life and certainly not anyone I have ever dated but yet I believed him because he was my brother, my family so ? Such is life one day I just couldn't breathe, light headed, vision was going. I at 5' 5" weighed 95 lbs and as I waited for the ambulance I thought " I am dying" as I looked down at my hands and all I could see was my mother's hands as she was dying" but the irony is I was dying, I was emotionally dying and it was a long tough battle that I survived. When I went to therapy my therapist asked me what i was doing to get better ? I said I go to Bradlees ( a big department store at the time) everyday. She said " why" ? and I replied because it terrifies me" She said you're very strong and you won't be sick very long. The following week I went to see her to tell her my best friend was coming to see me for the weekend as she knew how horrible I felt and that my brother was really being mean. She arrived on a Friday,I worked that night. My brother had known this woman his whole life( he was five years younger) and trust me he was never interested. That night he took her out to dinner to keep her company while I worked and then we all went out. About 3 AM I woke up and my friend was no where to be found until I opened my brother's bedroom door and well...I thought I was delusional. I told my therapist about it on Monday ( her eyes actually filled up with tears as she Said "Well everyone needs a support system and you don't have one " She also said that falling in love is the best possible emotion and losing your mother is one of the worst, you both did simultaneously, " you fell off a cliff " I did " and my heart was shattered But I got back up and here I am ! That brother who wanted me to go down and was so hurtful, I saved his life at least three times ( and we are now estranged because of yet again another kick to me), my other brother has problems as I mentioned before, my husband employs him. Yes my husband ! five years after all this and a few boyfriends later and a trip to Texas to say goodbye to something that could have been, I fell in love again, with my best friend , my partner and together we have rode out some horrific storms. He " gets" Panic Disorder. I slip sometimes after prolonged bouts of stress or memories of words that have crushed me, or when I miss that carefree girl from a long time ago. My old love/friend from Texas, I searched him on Ancestry.com. I loved seeing that he had married 6 months after I did and that he had two sons and that he had named them the very names he had told me he liked. This made me happy for he had truly been a gift to me and then I saw his birth date and beside it his death date. There are things in life that are not meant to be learned on the Internet and that is one of them. It's so funny you asked me about my Panic Disorder and I went into this explanation ( book lol) because today is the anniversary of that Friday when he arrived so long ago. My mom died on May 21st. M.C. listen you will be fine I promise, the stomach ? I have had problems all winter with my stomach. Anxiety has a way of switching up the symptoms to trip us up. You will regain your life, things will work out. Sometimes it is very difficult to believe that at the time but remember " Darkest before Dawn"
I am sorry you thought I was saying I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, the DRS. just believed what they saw was suspicious...not so : ) Positive thoughts ok. The above is just a story, my Panic in my life was and is ( when it crops up ) about stress and depression. I have been on no meds for five years and yes I still get health anxiety ( mine perhaps like yours is more of a death anxiety )...why stop at health when you can bring it to the limits...you do need to laugh or you'll cry right ! I am keeping an eye on you. Be Well. Get some sleep before that little person won't let you any more : )

[M.C]

Thank you Lin for you concern really appreciate it

I ll definitely pm you when I need to talk

[M.C]

I beg your pardon Judie for misinterpreting what you said
That s the problem when you have health anxiety
You tend to be extremely narrow minded
I still think you went through an awful lot in your life
I mean just being told that you might have cancer and then going through the tests and waiting for the results must no excruciating
And then loosing your mother in front of your eyes I don't know how to describe that only you knows
I can tell you re a strong character to live all theses years with this crap
How do you manage?
Is there anything in particular you do to control it?i don't know when my due date is because I haven't had the first scan which dates the pregnancy
I must be about 8 weeks now so I ll probably have the baby around Christmas New Years something like that

[Judie]

Hi M.C, well Panic Attacks / Depression come and go with stresses etc. but for the most part I am a pretty happy well adjusted person. As I mentioned drug addiction ( brother) and mental illness ( other brother ) has been a source of stress . I have gotten really good at logical thought. My low point and death anxiety was the worst at the time Imentionef. I am now able to desensitize myself from overreacting to heart palpitations, light head, sensations of doom. Like you I often think about what happens next but I started reading inspirational near death experience stories to heighten my belief in life after death. The unknown is always scary for people but at some point you need to accept that you won't know until you are there and that it will be just fine.Know this though the body is comprised of molecular energy.That never dies it just shifts and I confident it shifts to a good place. You are on this planet for many years to come I also know that. So enjoy :) your anxiety will calm down, I am living proof of that. Oh I didn't care about you misinterpreting the cancer thing, I just was concerned I would be labeled one of those nuts that pretend to have cancer :( Have a relaxing fun day or at least calm :)