nancyga2013
05-15-2013, 07:36 AM
So its been about two months since I left my job now and looking for a new one is not easy and plus I have lost ambition at times to even do so, after so many denies or what not I get down and depressed!! Plus Mother's day just passed and I have a daughter that is seven that I live for and the reason I have tried to stay grounded since she was born. But it was and always is a hard day for me especially since my mom is not here anymore. She passed away at a young age, 44 years old. She had a brain tumor for 10 plus years which she had three major brain surgeries for and etc..another whole story. But I missed her and became depressed and I don't think its much easier that my cycle is about to start all I know is that whole weekend I popped off at my fiance so many times, one minute I was fine and the next I was crying or being mean!! I find myself with alot of mood swings anywhere from 1-2 weeks before my cycle, its crazy!!! And he thinks im crazy and I don't blame him!!! But anyway my routine during the day is quite horrible since I don't have a job anymore. I take my daughter to school and usually come back, look on the computer for jobs (sometimes) and then I go and get in my bed for like four hours and then get up about a hour before I have to go pick her up and then im up for the rest of the day. But i'm on that pattern that I have followed before, where all I wanna do is sleep!! And I know its not healthy I just don't have any motivation to want to do things. I mean I usually clean my house when she gets out of school, not before!! I finally got my insurance back on but for anyone in the USA that maybe on medicaid can know how ridiculous those people are down there! And I have not upped my paxil but starting tomorrow morning i'm going to go up to 20mg because I know this 10mg is not helping me what so ever!! Anyway I know this was random just some things running through my head! Thanks for reading.