I feel like no one likes me...

[amberlove833]

No one really talks to me at school, I'm always getting shut out of conversations and groups. It's not like I'm ugly or anything, I'm just socially awkward, and everytime I do say something to try to start a conversation I get either an ignore, or a rude reply. People make me feel everything that comes out of my mouth is just stupid :(

[Judie]

Hey Amberlove833, I have been thinking a lot about you. No no no, it is not that no one likes you. Anxiety has a way of crippling our self esteem. At your age (teens through young adulthood, even til 30) everyone is in harms way. No one, regardless of how they act ( this goes for the class beauty) sees themselves in a good light. Everyone is insecure, they just have that " self confidence" mask mastered. Little things that are said and done over the years ( and it doesn't have to be what was actually said as much as how we perceived them ) " I don't like your hair that way " becomes " you have ugly hair, god shave your head", when in reality the person may have meant " you look so pretty when you wear your hair another way", people don't always communicate well. Now people, ESPECIALLY at your age live by the " Survival of the Fittest" ( goes back to Caveman days- the strong conquer and survive ) this of course does not mean literally, it simply means the strong ( the ones hat appear self confident) dominate the ones the appear weak
( low self esteem). The key word here is " appear" because everyone has their weak spots, that's just fact. You need to build your self esteem. I am quite confident that you are beautiful and bright, I can tell you that but it is much more important that you tell yourself that. Nobody has self confidence all the time, they have just mastered how to " appear "like they do. One of the ways to do this is to be "nonreactive" when someone gives a rude reply. Because that is their issue not yours. Think about it they are the ones that are socially awkward. When those individuals leave the safety of the High School Walls, good luck with that, like attracts like, rude attracts rude. We need to work on your self esteem. People who prey on the weak ( because right now and "only" right now you are weakened by anxiety and self doubt ) are bullies and those people are in far worse shape then you are, trust me. Bullies, just like Panic feed off of reaction. If you feel upset it will relentlessly continue. Anxiety will continue to pump out adrenaline and you will continue to feel lousy, with bullies ( and these people are bullies) they will continue to be rude and insensitive. When anxiety starts ignore the symptoms, dismiss them you are young and healthy. When people hurt your feelings, dismiss them, their opinion and behavior just does not matter. When your mindset changes and you gain strength and confidence your demeanor will change. You will carry yourself differently, these people will change their behavior or you will simply remove them from your life. Because after all why would you want to be around people like that. You are good !!!

[ImChad]

I feel the same way. I haven't really had friends since I was in high school. Sucks big time. I guess I have trust issues. This anxiety has ruined most of my relationships bcuz I don't really engage in conversations.

[mid]

One of the things Judie mentions is so important to everyone who deals with anxiety to know, is the physical symptoms of anxiety is the fight or flight chemical reaction and the best known one is adrenaline rush. Once you recognize the feeling and use it to ground yourself to be comfortable as you find your comfort level by moving (even if it's just your toe tapping), you will be able to feel your strength and confidence appear physically. One description used to help see the path to recovering balance was to look at the adrenaline rush as a river, ocean tide method. When you have an anxiety spike, it's like the tide rushed out all at once. As the tide comes back in, you are calmer as it moves like a river all over, soothing your skin, your nerves, your muscles. Hope this helps.

[cagedbutterfly]

No one really talks to me at school, I'm always getting shut out of conversations and groups. It's not like I'm ugly or anything, I'm just socially awkward, and everytime I do say something to try to start a conversation I get either an ignore, or a rude reply. People make me feel everything that comes out of my mouth is just stupid :(

Hi amber...how are you? IM the same exact way. IM afraid....I don't wanna look dumb. I've always been in the background. Never speak until spoken to. Nobody understands me. I always wonder what people think of me...how do you cope?

[amberlove833]

Hi amber...how are you? IM the same exact way. IM afraid....I don't wanna look dumb. I've always been in the background. Never speak until spoken to. Nobody understands me. I always wonder what people think of me...how do you cope?

I'm trying to figure the same as you, I just don't talk to anyone. :/

[Christopher H.]

I know how you feel amberlove, when I was in High School I felt so unaccepted and really alone, and it was like that all through out High School. Until I went to college and I met people who are just like me. I'm not saying that you have to go to college to finally feel accepted. What I am really trying to say is that there are people out there in this world who will accept you for who you are, you just gotta keep trying and not be so hard on yourself. Although it feels terrible to not be accepted try to remind yourself that its simply because you are different then they are. Which is a good thing in my eyes. As for being awkward, just keep practicing and you will get better at it, I keep learning new things that improve my social skills to this day and I'm 22. One last thing, there are people out there for some reason who just cant stand awkward people at all. Just like I can't stand people who talk bad about others. Avoid those people, not because they are evil, its just going to be extremely hard to get along with them. Try and surround yourself with people who are nice and understanding or give you tips on how to better yourself socially. Maybe they know something that you don't and when they tell you it will be like a light bulb moment. Anyways, hang in there amber.