Fearful Realization

[bananapancakes]

Today i have been experiancing a great ammount of anxiety/depression, i really do feel that i am losing my mind.

through out my whole life i think i can recall some anxiety a few months ago a had a bad episode with pot and i thought i was going to die for 2 weeks. i later got diagnosed with GAD then talked to a counselor. i was put on a few drugs but one of which was xanax to help with my anxiety. i never thought drugs were the way to go untill this all happened. but then i did something really stupid. i took more xanax than prescribed because i wanted to see if it helped(only 3.5 mg). my doc took me off when he found out. the past few weeks have been very boring in my opinion. i just dont think im living up to what i should be living up to. i get worried about how others perceive me. having gone through racing thoughts all night i have came to the conclusion that am am dealing with a lot of anxiety. it took about 4 hours of racing thoughts of fear to tell myself that im not biploar because i was experiancing some of th syptoms today. with my fearfull thoughts racing ive came to thoughts of killing myself and just very weird mindsets. lately one fear i have been having is that i think poeple think im stupid. i mean my brothers say im stupid, poeple i sometimes hang out with think im retarded. i am just so fucking scared i want to die

[Portland]

I had the same feelings when I smoked marijuana. I would worry about how others perceived me, I used to think that my throat was closing up and I was just depressed a lot. I started panicing also. I am confident that marijuana was a contributing factor to my anxiety/panic, not the only cause though. I think you should stop smoking weed. If you have an addictive personality like me, then Xanex and other Benzos probably aren't good either. When I was perscribed Xanex to be taken as needed I took it whether I needed it or not.

You might want to see a psycologist, and maybe consider a SSRI (Paxil, Prozac) for anxiety and depression. I saw a psycologist and learned how to stop thinking so negatively and learned techniques to keep my anxiety in check. You are a lot like me in that it sounds like you worry too much about what others think of you. Your not losing your mind, your just freaking out because your anxiety is out of control. It's amazing what anxiety can do to you both physically and mentally. It helps a lot to talk to people though.

I think a combination of alittle therapy and maybe medication can do a lot. Also, try to get out and do things, like exercise. I have been on Prozac for a month and a half and can function a lot better. It takes time though and affects everyone differently.