trying to find the strength

[hedgiemommy]

I just started the process of finding the right medicine 2 months ago. This week I've been trying my third new one.

The first one made me physically ill to the point where I was having chest pain.

The second one made me want to kill myself that I was close to doing it until my boyfriend walked in on me holding a knife in the kitchen. I've never felt more possessed by depression...

Now I'm on my third and the first 48 hours or so were great! I've never felt better in my life! I thought I was on the right path.

But last night and this morning, all I want to do is die... I know I'll never go through with it but living through this process is excruciating and exhausting.

How did everyone find the courage to keep trying different meds when the "trial and error" process is so tough???

I would love some words of encouragement.

[Kevcules]

I just started the process of finding the right medicine 2 months ago. This week I've been trying my third new one.

The first one made me physically ill to the point where I was having chest pain.

The second one made me want to kill myself that I was close to doing it until my boyfriend walked in on me holding a knife in the kitchen. I've never felt more possessed by depression...

Now I'm on my third and the first 48 hours or so were great! I've never felt better in my life! I thought I was on the right path.

But last night and this morning, all I want to do is die... I know I'll never go through with it but living through this process is excruciating and exhausting.

How did everyone find the courage to keep trying different meds when the "trial and error" process is so tough???

I would love some words of encouragement.


Well mommy........it's not an easy thing to give an answer too, as you probably know. It must make you feel better knowing that we ALL are going through the same BS you are! It sucks! I've never been so low before. It's very scary to think about dieing.......I do it a lot lately! BUT........just keep thinking ,once you make it by this shitty depression hurdle, your brain won't be thinking so foolish anymore when it's healthy! I really believe the drugs are a good line of defence, and they do work. We just have to find the right one for our bodies. We can't do it alone........talk to people all you can! This site is a great resource and I hope it helps you through any and ALL bad times you may have! Take care!