Don't know what to do

[shezzy]

I am on citalopram 10mg from 20mg for anxiety panic attacks, whilst they seem to calm me down a bit i am still finding it difficult to go for jobs as my fear is being trapped somewhere and not being able to go home when i need to, we desperatly need another income and the more guilty i feel the worst i get......anybody have any advice please?

shezzy

[greenleaf]

I don't know if this helps but you are never really trapped anywhere unless you are restrained or something like that. You are in control over what you do and no one else but you can make that choice. Remember at any time you can say excuse me, I need to go to the restroom. In there you can take a moment to get under control again. And just like any other situation you can always get up and walk out. They don't lock the doors on you. Just knowing you can walk out any time should make you feel better. This doesn't work if you have been arrested, fell down a well unless you consider being trapped on this planet as being trapped. :-) Hope this helps.

[greenleaf]

I think where you work is also important. It needs to be a place free of stress and something that you enjoy a bit. Something with maybe a lot of space and "freedom" to move around. Not being pinned down to a desk, or one area can be helpful. I would try to pick a place close to home. Good lighting and ventilation is important. Windows help too. Something that keeps you busy thinking about different things but not too stressful. If you have friends try to get a job where you know someone. If not try to make friends. It help to feel you are safe in your work place with people you trust. And you know what. I learned this. It can't hurt to try. If you go there and have to walk out at least you tried. Maybe you will walk out of a few jobs and then you will find one that you are ok at. Maybe walking out of a job will prove you can leave and you won't have to next time. And maybe you won't make it and have to come home. But at least you tried even if you don't even get there. Start somewhere part time, maybe 2 hours to start if possible. Less if needed, more if you can handle. Right now it is more about being able to stay then how much or how long. Just trying. I hope my thought do well for you. I really care. I don't know you but I do know what it feels like. My thought are just that, you don't have to listen to them either. Maybe my ideas are wrong for you too. But if you like them, let me know if any of them worked or are bad. Thanks. :-)

Before I was diag with Asthma and allergy I was suffering badly out side, in the car, most places. I didn't know what it was and believed my doctors that it was anxiety. It was incredibly stressful and frustrating because I stopped going out side and any where with in a mile radius because I knew in my house with multiple air filters I was breathing. I compare this with you a little bit and in a way it is similar. I am not sure how my girlfriend put up with this for the past year having to come see me all the time. Even in the house I wasn't good. I felt really bad not being able to go out with her or to even get the mail 100 feet away. The air out side was effecting my allergies and that triggered my asthma. I have asthma and allergy meds now and I can go out side and places. I hope your situation works out as well.

[shezzy]

Thankyou greenleaf, yes it does make sense and i appreciate you have took the time to reply to me. I hate being like this, seems such a long time ago when i never used to question anything and just.....lived.
I am looking at part time work where there are no crowds, maybe a little cleaning job where i'm pretty much left to get on with it would suit me for now. I think the pressure is on because of financial difficulties and i'm feeling very guilty for not helping, though my husband knows i suffer from "nerves" i don't think he realises it's affecting me trying to get a job, i'm sure he just thinks i'm not even trying, or that i just don't want to work. I can apply for a job but as it's getting nearer an interview i talk myself out of it. What a mess!
Anyhow thankyou so much for replying and i hope you continue with your success in getting out and about.