Intense anxiety at work and its wider impact....

[elgrande]

Hi all

I have suffered with anxiety since my mid teens however I don't think its held me back too much and I have still achieved many of the things I'd hoped too in life. I do however have a recurring and exhausting problem with anxiety at work which is currently in one of its more 'acute' phases. Basically I find that it builds quite gradually as the day goes on and by mid afternoon I'm pretty wired and agitated. It can get soo intense that I find it very difficult to communicate/talk with people, some of which I've worked with for years. I dread anyone coming over to my desk to speak to me as I also have a fear that they're going to think I'm acting strangely or look really nervous and uncomfortable. When I do speak to someone I touch my nose a lot and can barely look them in the eye. Sometimes I sit thinking I'm about to go mad at any second and run screaming from the building! I also get this weird sensation where I feel unreal and question whether its actually me sitting there or it all some kind of elaborate illusion. I feel like I stumble over my words as well and that my voice sounds like someone else’s. Meetings are a nightmare as I get the feeling I'm trapped and can't escape. I just sit fidgeting and counting down the seconds until I get out of there. I've stopped going to any work related events outside of the office as the I find formal gatherings too uncomfortable. I also haven't flown since 2002 due to a panic attack on the plane and occasionally I am invited to work events out of town which I have to decline because of this. From a career point of view, attending these events from time to time is seen as important so I do feel this is perhaps having a negative impact on my career. Its also stifling my ambitions as I just think that taking on more responsibilities will make me feel worse and I'll have to deal with more people face to face. I have thought about a career change out of the corporate world however I do find my job interesting and have worked hard to get where I am so I'm reluctant to 'throw in the towel'. I sometimes think that if I could work from home instead of the office I would be fine however this isn't possible. I also feel this is me just running away from the underlying problems which I need to try and tackle. What these are I'm not quite sure and perhaps I just have some kind of chemical imbalance or something! Anyway its all very tiring and hard to deal with so I'm just feeling pretty negative as you can probably tell from my post.

Thanks for listening.

[Mrs2B]

Hi Elgrande,

Im new to the site and anxiety.

Im so sorry to hear youre having such a rough time.

Have you seen a doctor or therapist? Or considered meds?

If I can help at anytime let me know.

Hope you find the forum helpful, :-)

[rhar]

Hi all

I have suffered with anxiety since my mid teens however I don't think its held me back too much and I have still achieved many of the things I'd hoped too in life. I do however have a recurring and exhausting problem with anxiety at work which is currently in one of its more 'acute' phases. Basically I find that it builds quite gradually as the day goes on and by mid afternoon I'm pretty wired and agitated. It can get soo intense that I find it very difficult to communicate/talk with people, some of which I've worked with for years. I dread anyone coming over to my desk to speak to me as I also have a fear that they're going to think I'm acting strangely or look really nervous and uncomfortable. When I do speak to someone I touch my nose a lot and can barely look them in the eye. Sometimes I sit thinking I'm about to go mad at any second and run screaming from the building! I also get this weird sensation where I feel unreal and question whether its actually me sitting there or it all some kind of elaborate illusion. I feel like I stumble over my words as well and that my voice sounds like someone else’s. Meetings are a nightmare as I get the feeling I'm trapped and can't escape. I just sit fidgeting and counting down the seconds until I get out of there. I've stopped going to any work related events outside of the office as the I find formal gatherings too uncomfortable. I also haven't flown since 2002 due to a panic attack on the plane and occasionally I am invited to work events out of town which I have to decline because of this. From a career point of view, attending these events from time to time is seen as important so I do feel this is perhaps having a negative impact on my career. Its also stifling my ambitions as I just think that taking on more responsibilities will make me feel worse and I'll have to deal with more people face to face. I have thought about a career change out of the corporate world however I do find my job interesting and have worked hard to get where I am so I'm reluctant to 'throw in the towel'. I sometimes think that if I could work from home instead of the office I would be fine however this isn't possible. I also feel this is me just running away from the underlying problems which I need to try and tackle. What these are I'm not quite sure and perhaps I just have some kind of chemical imbalance or something! Anyway its all very tiring and hard to deal with so I'm just feeling pretty negative as you can probably tell from my post.

Thanks for listening.

I can relate to EXACTLY how you feel.
I dread meetings with a passion, I can't sit still and need to move constantly as I get the feeling I will pass out if I don't keep moving.

I dread when we have meetings at coffee shops because it is sheer terror!!! It's just plain awful

[Lin]

Working with mental illness is a nightmare. If you had a broken leg it would be so much easier, but with mental illness you have to pretend to be '"normal" all day, show no signs of stress or being upset, and at the end of the day can't even show you are tired.
People also think that you suddenly become thick when you have a mental illness so they don't listen to your opinion or think they can put you down - all really difficult to handle when not well and just makes work worse.
It is so easy to get paranoid about people liking or not liking you at work when you are ill. Just one wrong word to you and you can imagine all sorts.
Meetings are a nightmare and difficult to stay in and even more difficult if you want to express an opinion - I have some good colleagues who let me know when I go into overdrive so that I stop talking and people don't notice. But the people who act as if you are thick or dismiss your opinion during a meeting are horrendous to deal with and horrid.
My occupational health therapist in hospital gave me some techniques to use at work to help with stress and coping so that people do not notice you are struggling.
If you want to know any, let me know.

[rhar]

Working with mental illness is a nightmare. If you had a broken leg it would be so much easier, but with mental illness you have to pretend to be '"normal" all day, show no signs of stress or being upset, and at the end of the day can't even show you are tired.
People also think that you suddenly become thick when you have a mental illness so they don't listen to your opinion or think they can put you down - all really difficult to handle when not well and just makes work worse.
It is so easy to get paranoid about people liking or not liking you at work when you are ill. Just one wrong word to you and you can imagine all sorts.
Meetings are a nightmare and difficult to stay in and even more difficult if you want to express an opinion - I have some good colleagues who let me know when I go into overdrive so that I stop talking and people don't notice. But the people who act as if you are thick or dismiss your opinion during a meeting are horrendous to deal with and horrid.
My occupational health therapist in hospital gave me some techniques to use at work to help with stress and coping so that people do not notice you are struggling.
If you want to know any, let me know.

Hi Lin would love to hear some techniques ease!!

[Malyn]

Working with mental illness is a nightmare. If you had a broken leg it would be so much easier, but with mental illness you have to pretend to be '"normal" all day, show no signs of stress or being upset, and at the end of the day can't even show you are tired.
People also think that you suddenly become thick when you have a mental illness so they don't listen to your opinion or think they can put you down - all really difficult to handle when not well and just makes work worse.
It is so easy to get paranoid about people liking or not liking you at work when you are ill. Just one wrong word to you and you can imagine all sorts.
Meetings are a nightmare and difficult to stay in and even more difficult if you want to express an opinion - I have some good colleagues who let me know when I go into overdrive so that I stop talking and people don't notice. But the people who act as if you are thick or dismiss your opinion during a meeting are horrendous to deal with and horrid.
My occupational health therapist in hospital gave me some techniques to use at work to help with stress and coping so that people do not notice you are struggling.
If you want to know any, let me know.

Hi Lin

I would love to know if you don't mind sharing
Your technique

[Lin]

Dear Malyn and Rahr
Hope you haven't already heard of these, but I have tried most of these either when in hospital, at work or in a shop:
1. With colleagues and friends, talk for a while about illness, and then put it in your pocket.
2. With your hands put them over your face, and take overwhelming thoughts from your face to your knees, by bringing your hands down from your face to your knees and then put them in your pocket.
3. Remember "You are not a nuisance to people"
4. Acknowledge thoughts and let them pass through your head and not linger over them.
5. Give yourself permission to have a break - so go for a walk for a few minutes, or toilet and just have a break from work and thoughts
6. Golden string exercise - fingers together pinched in front of you as if holding a string and then pull fingers and hands open across your chest so arms are wide open - opening up your chest makes you feel much better.
7. "STOP" say this in your head to stop bead thoughts.
8. Breathing, slow and deep a) count 1,2,3,4 or b) 1 inhale, 2,3,4 exhale - repeat several times to get your breathing back slower and head calmer.
9. Sayings in your head:
Just because I think it does not mean it is true
I have done this before, so Know I can do it again
When this is over, I will be glad that I have done it
It may seem hard now, but it will become easier
I can be anxious, but I am going to focus on what I am doing
10. Say something once, and if still worrying, write it down so don't repeat things.
11. Challenge worries - what evidence it is true, what is probability it will happen, more likely outcomes, is this worry helpful, what would I say to a friend with this worry.
12. Mantra - "SA,TA,NA,MA" - sit and say this will pressing each finger in turn against your thumb - both hands at the same time.
13. Think "in the greater scheme of things" - little things that go wrong etc do not matter when look at the bigger picture.
14. 3 minute breathing space - just sit somewhere quiet and concentrate on breathing.
15. To refocus - sit quietly and gently tap on your leg for a few minutes.
16. To regroup thoughts - are they rational? Refocus on good thoughts. Get back in control. Have stopped bad thoughts before, so will do so again. Change thinking and actions will follow.
17. Essential oils - make up a mixture of essential oils in a base oil and have them on a tissue to smell when need to get stress down, or can massage into skin.
18. Breathing meditation to relax - Oh (inhale), Ma (hold breath), Omm (long deep breath out)
19. Hand on stomach and breath from stomach slowly - will stop shallow breathing from chest when panicking
20. If can't concentrate, and emotions won't calm down, walk and get to a space where can cal down and take control so that brain starts working again and can concentrate again.
21. if aggrevated or upset - walk somewhere to distract yourself by noticing how you are feeling - allow yourself time to calm down before working again or speaking to anyone.
22. Instead of just working, notice feelings and allow time to calm down or get space.
23. Keep workloads under control - take breaks and rest head and body for a few minutes between tasks.
24. if struggling to concentrate focus on things for short times eg 30 minutes.
25. Anxious when walking - in head think 1,2,3,4, swing my arms over and over to relax
26. If upset go to toilet and allow time to be upset and cry and then go back to work and do something positive.
27. Keep a mood diary - will notice patterns of feelings to help reduce difficult times at work or increase good times at work.
28. If see people and not know what to say and they ask "how are you?" just say "getting there"
29. At weekends and evenings try to find something fun and relaxing to get over the work days. Prioritise jobs at home so got time for head rest in evenings and weekends.
30. If have a friend at work can talk to, set yourself a time limit to talk about things going wrong that day or in your head, and then stop and stay calm.
31. Hand - fingers mean: thumb=worry, next finger = fear, middle finger = anger/depression, next finger = sadness, little finger = criticisms/judging etc - when feeling any of these feelings with the fingers of the other hand put your fingers over the appropriate finger and your thumb under it and hold it tight for 36 breaths - helps to do this when in a meeting and worried or if panicking in a shop - not noticeable to others, just holding your finger, but does help.

Hope these help and you haven't already heard all of them before!

[rhar]

Thanks so much, that's wonderful :)

[Lin]

Pleased to help, hope some of them help you.

[Malyn]

Thanks Lin. I will copy this and apply. Very helpful technique and haven't heard of this but sounds promising

[elgrande]

Hi Elgrande,

Im new to the site and anxiety.

Im so sorry to hear youre having such a rough time.

Have you seen a doctor or therapist? Or considered meds?

If I can help at anytime let me know.

Hope you find the forum helpful, :-)

A while back I had a session with a hypnotherapist but I don't think it helped all that much. I stopped smoking close to a year ago thinking that might help as well but I'm not sure it has either. I do feel other health benefits from it though. To be honest I just think I might be prone to feeling this way and sometimes it gets very intense and other times its manageable. Its been tough recently and I do worry about the impact on my career.