Just signed up, so while the internal drums are not banging...

[dnouk]

...Thought i would say hello.

Sitting in a coffee shop waiting for 2nd date with my head doctor. Tried all sorts of meds but they have either done nothing or put me in a catatonic state, which does not make for a good bread winner.

I am diabetic on insulin, and there is healthy debate as to whether stress screws sugar levels, or dodgy sugar levels cause stress. Either way, it hurts.

Have tried many times explaining this to loved ones, latest attempt was to say its not a black dog that lives with me, it's a stray German Shepherd that leaps out of nowhere at the slightest provocation, with whom I enter short, violent struggles until he or I run away to lick our wounds. Unfortunately, family have been caught up in the snarling and gnashing too much recently, and I have to kill this dog. Especially for my wife who is going thru treatment for breast cancer, and needs this like I need another sleepless night.

Have read through some forums (fora?) and seems like some good people on here who have their own dogs to deal with. Agree the more we talk about it, the less difficult it might get.

Love to all, hope I can be of some assistance in some small way

Dean

[Mrs2B]

Hi Dean,

Im new too. Have had depression on and off since I was 16 or so, but the anxiety is new (just a few months) I still cant believe how real and awful the symptoms are, but am making progress slowly.

So sorry to hear about your troubles, if I can help at all let me know.

Warm welcome to you :-)

[dnouk]

Thanks Mrs2B!

Good thing about these pages is that we all seem to be in the same boat, and we dont have to apologise for how we are or try and explain ourselves.

Look forward to bumping into you in the forum!

D

[rationalfears]

Hi Dean :) Welcome.

[Lin]

Welcome, sorry to hear about your problems.
Hope that you find the Forum useful - it is always good to get a response and know that someone else understands at least some of what you are going through.
My family are useless with my depression. My mum was good with my bouts of post natal depressions from 1990-1995 but then she died, and since then I have no-one in the family who understands me and my depression. They each have their own problems but they are all so different to mine and we do not seem able to help each other at all.
I have found much more help from friends (although you have to watch that you do not push friendships too far because they can't stand hearing how you really feel) and from strangers I have met on NHS or Recovery Education Service courses or just through a peer support group supported by our Mental Health forum. On the courses you learn something and can talk to people who understand.
Also my psychiatrist recommended meditation so I have joined a Christian and Buddhist meditation group - both very different ways of meditating, but both good teachings and really nice people who want to help and talk to you.
My husband struggles really badly, especially this time since it has been over 2 years, when he is willing to get carer support he is much kinder and sympathetic and helps me, but when he is not getting it he finds all my symptoms impossible to live with.

[jessed03]

Hey Dean!

Obviously, welcome :)

I like that analogy you mentioned, the one about mental illness being a German Shepard for you, rather than a little black dog. I can see why you'd say that. A little black dog may eventually be lovable, that angry German Shepard won't be anything other than a fight!

I've found the greatest changes in my life, and in the struggles I face, came through a similar channel to Lin. I got heavily involved in meditation and Buddhism (As a philosophy, rather than religiously).

It's a much harder battle when med's don't work. I take it given your bad experiences, you aren't taking any mood altering medications at the moment?

And your 2nd date with your head doctor, does this mean you've recently started physchotherapy? Or is this just your second date with a new therapist? I can only hope he/she has connections with the Pound, and can help with the canine problem!

Best of luck to your wife in her battle.