aussiemika
07-29-2007, 10:57 PM
hi all, i'm new hear, just happened to surf onto this site, looking for inspiration.
I'm a 33 male, who is a branch manager for a major bank in Australia.
The branch I transferred to 12 months ago was the worst performing branch in the country for us, and one of the largest, so the challenge was immense!
2 months ago, I was doing my staff's half yearly appraisals (have 25 of them), one on one situations in an office, when i was telling them how great they were doing etc (moved up to the top 20 in the country).....the first couple went fine, but all of a sudden, i noticed i felt like i was going to burst into tears!
This feeling seemed to come and go, and initially it was only when it was a one on one situation, howeer over the following weeks, it got harder to deal with. Running team meetings etc became intolerable, because each time I would try to motivate, praise etc, I would have this feeling of tears, like I was going to explode into a screaming mess!
I put up with it for a coupl eof weeks, and it all came to a head one day at a managers conferance. All sitting around the table, individually talking about our businesses. It was getting closer to my turn and I can feel another "attack" coming on, went to the toilet to try and compose myself, but couldn't. Called my boss ot of the conferance room and told her I couldn't take it any longer, and just had to get out of there.
Luckily, i have taken hardly any leave over the past few years, and she told me to trake as much as I needed, which ended up being 5 weeks of sick leave.
I started back at work last week, and am only working 4 hours a day (compared to my usual 12), but still can't get a grip on this feeling.
Have been to a couple of differant counsellors in the past 2 months, but they really have done nothing for me, also to the doc who has prescribed Zoloft, which he increased last week to 100mg from 50mg. The side effects aren't too good though, stomach aches, nausea, head aches, which they say will go away.
I am off to see a psychologist in 2 weeks time, which at this stage, is the one thing I am pinning my hopes on. I honestly don't know what to do if that doesn't work!
I enjoy my career, have no home issues, life was going great. I'm focussed and committed as far as my career goes, and am so frustrated at the moment because I can't perform anywhere near where I need to be to achieve.
I've also found over time that i am beginning to avoid crowded places, mainly shopping centers, I worry that people may see me, and my issues, that i may not be able to get out of there if something happens.
I tried to go to a museum on my time off to relax, and lasted all of 15 minutes before i just "had to" get out of there.
Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you get past it? Does life go back to some semblance of normality? Am I destined to be a home body with no career?
I'm a 33 male, who is a branch manager for a major bank in Australia.
The branch I transferred to 12 months ago was the worst performing branch in the country for us, and one of the largest, so the challenge was immense!
2 months ago, I was doing my staff's half yearly appraisals (have 25 of them), one on one situations in an office, when i was telling them how great they were doing etc (moved up to the top 20 in the country).....the first couple went fine, but all of a sudden, i noticed i felt like i was going to burst into tears!
This feeling seemed to come and go, and initially it was only when it was a one on one situation, howeer over the following weeks, it got harder to deal with. Running team meetings etc became intolerable, because each time I would try to motivate, praise etc, I would have this feeling of tears, like I was going to explode into a screaming mess!
I put up with it for a coupl eof weeks, and it all came to a head one day at a managers conferance. All sitting around the table, individually talking about our businesses. It was getting closer to my turn and I can feel another "attack" coming on, went to the toilet to try and compose myself, but couldn't. Called my boss ot of the conferance room and told her I couldn't take it any longer, and just had to get out of there.
Luckily, i have taken hardly any leave over the past few years, and she told me to trake as much as I needed, which ended up being 5 weeks of sick leave.
I started back at work last week, and am only working 4 hours a day (compared to my usual 12), but still can't get a grip on this feeling.
Have been to a couple of differant counsellors in the past 2 months, but they really have done nothing for me, also to the doc who has prescribed Zoloft, which he increased last week to 100mg from 50mg. The side effects aren't too good though, stomach aches, nausea, head aches, which they say will go away.
I am off to see a psychologist in 2 weeks time, which at this stage, is the one thing I am pinning my hopes on. I honestly don't know what to do if that doesn't work!
I enjoy my career, have no home issues, life was going great. I'm focussed and committed as far as my career goes, and am so frustrated at the moment because I can't perform anywhere near where I need to be to achieve.
I've also found over time that i am beginning to avoid crowded places, mainly shopping centers, I worry that people may see me, and my issues, that i may not be able to get out of there if something happens.
I tried to go to a museum on my time off to relax, and lasted all of 15 minutes before i just "had to" get out of there.
Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you get past it? Does life go back to some semblance of normality? Am I destined to be a home body with no career?