Confused, worried, venting..

[missmello]

I have an appointment later today with my new primary physician. She's gonna love me I'm sure (sarcasm), new patient with anxiety lol lucky her!

I was thinking of going for acupuncture this morning because I haven't been in a while, but the last time I went I felt it really helped reduce the severity of my symptoms.

Anyway, when I go to the doctor later, I plan on unloading all of my symptoms on her, hoping not to forget anything, but it's like I'm worried I'm searching for answers again. I obviously want a thorough work up, rule out everything it could possibly be.. I'm just not sure what they haven't tested yet. Like hormonal imbalance or thyroid? And what exactly they looked for in my bloodwork, like vitamin deficiencies or any other deficiency for that matter? I was never thoroughly explained the results and what they tested for.. so hopefully that will ease my mind? Ugh, it's just, I know I'm doing a lot better than where I was 2 weeks ago.. but i still feel sick and obviously just wish it would go away already. I've been able to snap out of anxiety easily in the past, has never lasted this long, so I'm just frustrated and doubting my diagnosis (sometimes).

Although the only person who has ever suggested that what I'm dealing with right now is "anxiety" was my stomach doctor. So I am going into this appointment today for a 2nd professional opinion, that was the purpose. That and the fact that the last doctor I was going to, which I was with for years, I saw only ONCE. Every office visit I've ever been to was with a nurse practitioner. Not that I don't value their opinion, but I value an actual doctor's opinion a little more. So I am done with that old office. Hoping this switch was a good decision. We shall see.

Just worried, hoping I'm not going down the rabbit hole again, and hoping I don't leave there feeling more confused. Yikes. (I know that all sounds like worry, look what I'm starting to do to myself lol)

[missmello]

Thought I should add.. My husband and I were trying to conceive before I spiraled out of control. Needless to stay that's been at a stand-still the last 2 months. I really don't want to be put on meds!!! Like an SSRI or something that i'll have to be on for months, because we still really really want to try for a baby, and I am just so frustrated with myself and what's happening with me right now. I'm impatient and don't want to be on meds, I just want to make sure everything is fine so we can try again. That's probably what is worrying me most about this appointment today.

[NixonRulz]

MissMello - since you are married, you shall be MrsMello to me. Your husband wouldn't appreciate you touting yourself as a single lady : )

When I first started having anxiety issues, I would get past them in a few days and move on

I had a bout with it one time that lasted longer than I expected and I began to worry it would never go away which caused me even more anxiety

So whatever you do, keep realizing your thoughts and reactions keep the cycle going. Would hate to see you do what I did and cause it to stay and intensify because your worry of getting over it.

My bet is with the doc that said anxiety is the culprit of your stomach issues.

That was such a huge symptom of mine and I could worry myself nauseous

Your doc has no idea what they are in for when you unload on them today!

I think my doc rethought her career choice after my first visit but quickly became one of my biggest advocates for healing and has asked several times if a patient could contact me to talk about their issues with this oh so great disorder.

Good luck at your appointment today

[missmello]

HAHA! the username wasn't thought out well i guess.. still kind of a newlywed, takes time getting used to the title lol

Thanks for the encouragement, I try REALLY hard to stay positive, distract myself, whatever.. but I'm just SO tired. Every day feels like I'm just trying to make it through the day until I go to bed, barely sleep, then wake up and say to myself "Well here we go again".

[missmello]

Any women out there who can relate with anxiety and trying to conceive? I feel like it is what may have triggered my anxiety this time around. Any advice on that would be so helpful. Not sure if I should hold off for now until I get myself more normal, possibly take meds (I really don't want to wait any longer!) or just battle through it and go for what I really want and just deal with the anxiety... Has anyone experienced this and had to make these decisions, and if so what did you decide to do?

[onebreathatatime]

Any women out there who can relate with anxiety and trying to conceive? I feel like it is what may have triggered my anxiety this time around. Any advice on that would be so helpful. Not sure if I should hold off for now until I get myself more normal, possibly take meds (I really don't want to wait any longer!) or just battle through it and go for what I really want and just deal with the anxiety... Has anyone experienced this and had to make these decisions, and if so what did you decide to do?

I can relate, I have been battling severe health anxiety for years.. it has gotten really bad in the past 2. Right after I got married we decided to start trying to conceive and that was when I became really bad with anxiety and panic attacks, it was then put on hold. I have been doing better and learning how to help myself and so we were back on track and started trying again. I ended up conceiving in March of this year but sadly I miscarried on April 8th, I was a wreck for the whole month of March, crazy symptoms, panicky, etc.. I thought I was dying.. turns out I was just pregnant! Now that I know what to somewhat expect I am just waiting for the "go ahead" to start trying yet again! I am on medication as well because when I am off it I am actually 10x worse when it comes to health, so for myself being pregnant and having to face health fears, ie.bp reading, I struggle. I am doing my best to allow my anxiety to be apart of me but not control my life, it has been a long and extremely hard battle but I am learning different techniques and coping skills.

[missmello]

Sorry for your loss.. that must have been difficult to find out. In the beginning I thought my symptoms could have been the beginning stages of pregnancy, but i thought it was way too early. To give an idea of the time frame, we tried in Feb. and were unsuccessful, we tried the next month, then like a week and a half later I had heightened smell, little nausea, felt like vomiting, heartburn.. common symptoms with pregnancy but I was like "wow this is way too early". I took a home test anyway, and it was negative. Went to the dr. and was tested again, negative. It was weird but I could have sworn I was pregnant or at least I was convincing myself, because I have heard stories about some women not being able to test positive for pregnancy even though they are. I'm wondering if it was just all in my head, like phantom pregnancy symptoms, or if I went through what you did. Either way I'm stumped, ready to move on. Good luck to you, hope you are able to get clearance sooner than later!

[missmello]

Well went to my appointment and had a minor panic attack in the waiting room lol was at least glad I was at the doctor, so felt safe. My bp when I walked in was 148/90 and pulse 135.. I knew it would be relatively high. I usually get like that at the Dr. or ER. Anyway, she looked over my previous bloodwork and said they did check for all organ function like liver, kidneys etc.. the only thing that wasn't checked was thyroid, so I did bloodwork today for that and waiting for results. She took my vitals again before I left and I was 120/80 and pulse around 100 lol I had calmed down a little.

So the plan is to continue klonopin as needed, and if the thyroid is fine she said the only other recommendation she has is to do more stomach tests. But seriously.. I had a ct scan and upper endoscopy with biopsy and that was all normal. What's the point of doing other tests? Are there really other tests that can be more thorough than that??? I give up on doctors.. I'm diagnosing myself with anxiety and calling it a day lol so frustrating. I'll get over this eventually I'm sure. Can't see acupuncturist til Monday, but I'm sure that will help.

[NixonRulz]

Well went to my appointment and had a minor panic attack in the waiting room lol was at least glad I was at the doctor, so felt safe. My bp when I walked in was 148/90 and pulse 135.. I knew it would be relatively high. I usually get like that at the Dr. or ER. Anyway, she looked over my previous bloodwork and said they did check for all organ function like liver, kidneys etc.. the only thing that wasn't checked was thyroid, so I did bloodwork today for that and waiting for results. She took my vitals again before I left and I was 120/80 and pulse around 100 lol I had calmed down a little.

So the plan is to continue klonopin as needed, and if the thyroid is fine she said the only other recommendation she has is to do more stomach tests. But seriously.. I had a ct scan and upper endoscopy with biopsy and that was all normal. What's the point of doing other tests? Are there really other tests that can be more thorough than that??? I give up on doctors.. I'm diagnosing myself with anxiety and calling it a day lol so frustrating. I'll get over this eventually I'm sure. Can't see acupuncturist til Monday, but I'm sure that will help.

Well done MrsMello - The hell with still looking for causes after all of those tests

You have anxiety. Great diagnosis by you.

[missmello]

Ah! So I missed my doctors phone call, she left a message saying for me to call her on Monday about the results of my thyroid test. God why did I have to miss that stupid phone call!? I'm going to try my best not to worry about it, because I guess if I do have an issue with my thyroid I'll be okay until Monday, haha. Ugh! Wish she would have just given me SOME kind of info on the voicemail! I mean whatever it is, it can't be that bad, right?

[cabcom]

Im sure your thyroid is fine.

[DustingMyselfOff]

They can't leave any information on an answering machine..... HIPPA laws and all. They don't know who might be listening to the message so they can't leave any info on it. Frustrating, but I can understand why they have to do it that way.

I was diagnosed with Graves Disease (hyperthyroid) 6 years ago and I know that's exactly what set off my most recent round of anxiety. One of the FIRST and most prominent symptoms of hyperthyroid is anxiety and restlessness. Everything in your body is in high gear and racing so if it is your thyroid and it is hyper, be glad.... at least you'll know why you're anxious and that there is medication that will slow it down.

Good luck.... keep us posted.
Sue

[M.C]

I m suffering from health anxiety and I found out today that I m pregnant
I had no intention to have another baby but it just happened
I m quiet worried but I think it s a wonderful thing
I wish you best of luck keep trying it will happen at the end

[missmello]

Thank you all for your kind words and reassurance. I'm just tired of all of this, so ready to feel 100% better, and don't want to be run in circles between doctors anymore. After I get the results I'm not going back to the doctor anymore. I've come to terms with it and working on reprogramming my body.
I'll update on Monday when I get results. I also have a working interview on Monday afternoon so that's stressing me out, but I'm popping my pills! Hope I'll be mellowed out by then!

Congrats MC! I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy! You will be just fine! Stay positive

[missmello]

Doctor said my thyroid is fine. Case closed. I'm not searching for answers anymore because I got one... All of my symptoms are caused by anxiety, end of story. Dr. wants me to get a 2nd opinion from a stomach doc I've seen in the past. No thanks, I'm all set.

Went for acupuncture today because I've had awful headaches and stiff neck all week. I left feeling a lot better, especially my neck, but the headache is back. I went on a working interview today and think I did really well. Overall it's been a good day. Time for bed, I'm exhausted!

Thank you all for your support! :)

[Lin]

I can relate to what you have been going through. It took us five years of fertility treatment to have our son in 1990 after going regularly for treatment. Luckily I had our son OK, but after that spent nearly 6 years trying to have a second, and after several miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy in 1996 decided that we should give up and stick with one.
The problem was that I got post natal depression every time, and every time it got worse to suicidal stage so had to go into hospital. My son still remembers me in hospital when he was 5.
Since 1985 I have also had Pelvic Inflamation Disease regularly which is caused by hormone imbalance, and which is such severe pain that you have to go into hospital for them to check it is not appendicitis, and the tablets you take for it are horrible. During this you also get an extra high dose of PMT so bang head against wall etc.
Now I have a hormone imbalance because of the menopause and yet again clinical depression and anxiety - this time 7 weeks in hospital - and suicidal for over 2 years now.
Usually with post natal depression the hormones settle down after 5-6 months, and the anti depressant helps you get through it, and then you are fine until the next time.
However, with the menopause it goes on much longer, and this time they have been unable to find an anti depressant which my body will accept for some reason - so two years of a really horrible struggle and my husband is so fed up with it this time because gone on so long.
I find it really comforting to talk to other women who have had hormonal problems, but it is not acknowledged as much or as quickly as it should be even now, even less so in 1985 when we got married and I started getting PID.
Would be good to talk to someone who understands the terrible feeling of PMT x 4 and how desperate you get with depression and anxiety.

[MrsJ88]

MissMello - since you are married, you shall be MrsMello to me. Your husband wouldn't appreciate you touting yourself as a single lady : )

When I first started having anxiety issues, I would get past them in a few days and move on

I had a bout with it one time that lasted longer than I expected and I began to worry it would never go away which caused me even more anxiety

So whatever you do, keep realizing your thoughts and reactions keep the cycle going. Would hate to see you do what I did and cause it to stay and intensify because your worry of getting over it.

My bet is with the doc that said anxiety is the culprit of your stomach issues.

That was such a huge symptom of mine and I could worry myself nauseous

Your doc has no idea what they are in for when you unload on them today!

I think my doc rethought her career choice after my first visit but quickly became one of my biggest advocates for healing and has asked several times if a patient could contact me to talk about their issues with this oh so great disorder.

Good luck at your appointment today

Nixon, I always enjoy your humor :)

[MrsJ88]

Doctor said my thyroid is fine. Case closed. I'm not searching for answers anymore because I got one... All of my symptoms are caused by anxiety, end of story. Dr. wants me to get a 2nd opinion from a stomach doc I've seen in the past. No thanks, I'm all set.

Went for acupuncture today because I've had awful headaches and stiff neck all week. I left feeling a lot better, especially my neck, but the headache is back. I went on a working interview today and think I did really well. Overall it's been a good day. Time for bed, I'm exhausted!

Thank you all for your support! :)

What is going on with your stomach MissMello? I had crazy stomach symptoms last spring before I got pregnant... It was anxiety. I was gonna tell you also... This obviously won't be true for everyone but I was having actual panic attacks a lot then after I got pregnant and now had my son in November I have had zero panic attacks, just anxiety.

[missmello]

What is going on with your stomach MissMello? I had crazy stomach symptoms last spring before I got pregnant... It was anxiety. I was gonna tell you also... This obviously won't be true for everyone but I was having actual panic attacks a lot then after I got pregnant and now had my son in November I have had zero panic attacks, just anxiety.

I had severe nausea, completely lost my appetite, heightened smell, had to force myself to eat, I lost 15lbs in 5 weeks (from 140 to 125) I'm 5'4" so my weight was on the heavy side, but i was comfortable at 140. I'm not nauseous anymore and I can eat pretty well now without a problem where as before I was even afraid to get out of bed to go to the bathroom for fear of passing out or something. Now I'm active, leaving the house and everything so I"m much better.

I'm almost 100% certain that TTC is what triggered my anxiety and all my stomach probs. We don't have any children, so the idea of being pregnant is foreign to me, and does kinda freak me out. Like what does it feel like, will I be able to handle it for 9mo, and just the thought of being responsible for carrying a growing human being inside of my body freaks me the F out! Haha, I don't know why! Is it normal to feel that way the first time? Because I really do want this so badly, not only for me but for my husband also.

Thank you Lin for sharing your story. You've definitely been through a lot. Hormones can wreak havoc on the body, it's amazing.. not to mention adding anxiety on top of that. Hope you find comfort soon.