nancyga2013
04-30-2013, 03:27 PM
Well along with anxiety comes depression but I don't think the anxiety is causing the depression right now. It's real life stuff. I really regret quitting my job, everyday now is very unproductive and looking for a new one is very hard especially when I just will not accept anything. I find myself crying and just feeling so down, I have a fiance that works and is paying everything well he pretty much paid all of the regular household bills when I worked and I paid my own car insurance and for my phone. Well now i'm just so worried on how the hell we will even afford my stuff. I will not just accept a minimum wage job because it will not benefit me! Summer is about to be out and I have a seven year old daughter that will need care and that does not come cheap. And I have lots of family but were all spread out and my mom who died five years ago I know she would do it if she were here but shes not. So basically I would have to pay for my daughter to be in daycare which estimated is 60 a week! One major problem I have is I lack so much confidence in myself, its like I don't have any confidence and I have been told this many times in the past by therapist and people in my life. Some days I feel motivated to get a job but it quickly diminishes when I get denied for a job I wanted. Other things are I feel alone sometimes. Even though I have a great man and daughter in my life, I find myself wishing almost everyday I had my mama to talk to. We were so close and she passed away from a brain tumor. My dad remarried and I barely ever talk to him or see him which is sad since he lives 30 minutes away. I don't ever call him. Why don't I ever call him? I guess thats for me to answer. We have had some problems in the past. I talk to him today though and it actually made me happy. I think alot of the reason I don't talk to him much is he has always been really hard on me. I know thats because he has always wanted the best for me but sometimes I just need someone to listen not criticize me! Anyway I started up this paxil about a week ago I just been taking 10mg i'm suppose to go up to 20mg now. And I have been on anti-depressants most of my life but the past couple years I neglected them. So my system seems to not be used to them as much. Im not too much getting them now but I was getting horrible headaches and I do notice i'm a little jittery in the morning but paxil has always been that way for me in the mornings. I hope things start looking up for me. Sitting here day after day is making me more depressed.