Duck Daffy
04-29-2013, 01:46 PM
(Brace yourselves for yet another whiny thread by yours truly.)
I can't stop thinking. I can't stop worrying.
My life is dictated by the hyperactivity of my mind. There's manageable days and there's apocalyptic days. My mind has to meticulously scrutinize every thought from the significant to the minute. It's clouding my judgement on everything; I don't know what I feel anymore and I can't recall what I ever felt. I'm not taking my own advice ; I'm living in fear of hypotheticals proposed by my mind. I try to let the thoughts/feelings flow, but it feels near impossible to not interfere. It's all mental monotony. My HOCD is getting worse, as well. That is my primary problem - mentally. I don't know what to do about it. I'd rather be drugged out of my mind than deal with these thoughts/feelings onset from HOCD. When am I going to become numb to this? It's effecting everything. My life, my love, my motivation - all restrained because of these obsessions. I hate living like this. More than anything, I just want to be genuine. These thoughts and feelings really make me question if I'm being genuine to those I love. And it makes me feel like shit because I can't get rid of these thoughts and feelings, no matter what I try. I want to know that I mean it when I say 'I love you'. I want to be genuine. I'm tired of living at the mercy of my mind.
(Holy lack of paragraphs, batman!)
Help?
Have a nice day.
I can't stop thinking. I can't stop worrying.
My life is dictated by the hyperactivity of my mind. There's manageable days and there's apocalyptic days. My mind has to meticulously scrutinize every thought from the significant to the minute. It's clouding my judgement on everything; I don't know what I feel anymore and I can't recall what I ever felt. I'm not taking my own advice ; I'm living in fear of hypotheticals proposed by my mind. I try to let the thoughts/feelings flow, but it feels near impossible to not interfere. It's all mental monotony. My HOCD is getting worse, as well. That is my primary problem - mentally. I don't know what to do about it. I'd rather be drugged out of my mind than deal with these thoughts/feelings onset from HOCD. When am I going to become numb to this? It's effecting everything. My life, my love, my motivation - all restrained because of these obsessions. I hate living like this. More than anything, I just want to be genuine. These thoughts and feelings really make me question if I'm being genuine to those I love. And it makes me feel like shit because I can't get rid of these thoughts and feelings, no matter what I try. I want to know that I mean it when I say 'I love you'. I want to be genuine. I'm tired of living at the mercy of my mind.
(Holy lack of paragraphs, batman!)
Help?
Have a nice day.