Scared to talk

[Cindy88]

I just want someone to talk to. When I have a problem or something is bothering me I would like to be able to talk to my loved ones but I avoid that because I am afraid that they will get angry and upset and I don't think that I could handle that. I just moved to a new city and I miss my friends. I feel isolated. I just want someone to listen and care without getting upset and me shutting down.

[princesskj]

I'm here if you want to message me ;)

[Alex010096]

Message me anytime :)

[Lin]

I am happy to talk to you any time you need to.
If in new city you could ask your Dr if your mental health service runs any peer support groups where you will be able to make friends with people who understand. Or they may run NHS courses which will help with techniques to feel better and give you chance to make some friends who understand.
I go to Buddhist and Christian meditation groups and find the teachings and meditation really helpful and calming and you don't have to be either religion to benefit from the wisdom and relaxation. Also lots if nice people go to meditation who have different problems so they make good friends too.

[amberlove833]

I'm going through the same thing. My mom likes to play stupid and act like I don't have any personal issues and she ignores me. Even my 8 year old sister has been trained to ignore me. But you'll get through it. IM HERE FOR YOU. :)

[Cindy88]

Thanks everybody!

[Cindy88]

Lin, that's a good idea about the peer support groups. I looked into it briefly right after I moved, but then I started my new job and got really busy, maybe I'll look into it again. My new therapist may have some ideas.

I had 6 months of DBT and discovered how amazingly helpful meditation was, but again, self care things tend to go out of the window when I am busy. There is a Buddhist temple near me that I was thinking of going to. Maybe I'll do that this weekend.

[Cindy88]

I really would like to make some friends, the only friend I have is my significant other and I can't expect him to meet all of my needs. But it is so hard. I am really uncomfortable around people. My friends back home knew me since middle school, I was comfortable with them. I know I will make friends eventually but it will take time. And in the mean time I am lonely, it's easy to let all of the negative thoughts creep back in.

[Lin]

Sounds like you have some ideas of where you can find friends, so take the plunge and go for it. Often much easier meeting strangers when you are down than people known for a long time, so you won't be at a disadvantage. Look forward to hearing what friends you hav made/groups you have attended.

[Judie]

The thing is about anything that is wrong in ours lives we need validation that others share the same feelings and experiences as we do. Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety , Depression, Alcoholism PTSD all of these and more need the empathy and support that only a fellow sufferer can offer. The Forum will offer you that and more. Social Anxiety, like all Anxiety needs a constant exposure and conditioning. This simply means that in experiencing uncomfortable situations ( meeting new people for example or going to a place where you have suffered an attack) is the one tired and true way to combat anxiety. In standing up to anxiety, you rob anxiety of its power. It no longer controls your inability to make friends or avoid an uncomfortable place. Let me give you. An example to demonstrate that anxiety is just " symptoms" not a disease process. A runny nose isn't a cold,it is a symptom. If you blow your nose you'll get rid of the symptom, but you'll still have the cold. Anxiety like that runny nose can be treated with deep breathing, medication whatever you remove the anxiety because after all you have treated the symptom but the cold ( the problem remains) here is the great news The problem behind anxiety is how you feel and most importantly how you think. Thoughts are what you have to change. Most if not all on this Forum have developed low self esteem, often at the hands of others.Perhaps one of the easiest ways as well as most difficult ways to develop self esteem is to stand up against your anxiety. When you empower yourself through exposure to the anxiety your self esteem builds, you are in control of your life, not the meaningless symptoms of anxiety.For all of you Social Anxiety Sufferers there are a few things I would like you to realize. A large majority of Alcoholics/ addicts suffer from social anxiety and are in fact self medicating. Please be conscious of this and make wise choices. Second you need to know the one sure way to beat a social anxiety is to expose yourself to situations hat make you uncomfortable. Hold your ground, break your train of thought away from the anxiety ( anxiety is irrelevant, you are there to meet new people) think rather like "I wonder how old they are, I like that sweater and on and on,just do it...slam the door on any thought of anxiety. Deep breath slowly, no one will notice. Always keep in mind that the majority of people feel exactly the same way as you and the ones that don't just may be delusional.lol. Please know that the symptoms you are suffering, that are literally flooring you, aren't noticed by others...odd but true. I remember when my Panic Attacks surfaced, I actually worked with the public, at that time my therapist was astonished that I could do it. Now make no mistake about it it was HELL. I had gone from being an outgoing gregarious person to a shell of the person I had been. Tired and depressed I weighed 95 lbs. I missed me, I wanted her back and I fought for that. I encourage you all to do the same. It's beatable. You need to build yourself up, recognize your value, pat yourself on the back. Surround yourself with people who care about you, push yourself, anxiety is harmless, when you make strides ( and you will) share your accomplishments on the Forum, so we too can pat you on he back. This is a mind game, nothing more .Games On ! Just do it ! Lots of people out there waiting for you to meet :)

[Cindy88]

We will see how it goes :). Before I moved I intentionally put myself into situations that made me anxious, like going to the gym and talking to people or going to compete in competitions which forced me to compete in from of others. It was hard but I did it and I started to build self esteem and feel more confident in my interactions with people in my sport and in the rest of my life. I just have to find a community of people like that here. I plan to go to the gym tomorrow. I'll make it a point to talk to people. It's really nice having this community of people to talk to. I can do it and I will. I just have to notice the negative thoughts and uncomfortable feelings and watch them go by. They cannot hurt me.

[lochuyen332798]

Up phụ bạn hiền. rảnh phụ mình chữ ký nha. thanks