New and need some clarification

[MMA_Matthew]

Hi i'm new to these forums. I've been suffering anxiety for about 2 and a half years now i believe.
I would like someone or some people to clarify or confirm using there own personal experiences weather i do have anxiety or maybe something different or more specific.
I'd like the start with how it became about and what exactly i feel when i believe i am suffering from an anxiety attack. Unfortunately how it came about is difficult for me to talk about it was a result of substance abuse at a young age. As stupid as i was when i was younger this is what i believe brought it on as i had no previous problems before the prolonged abuse. When i have an attack i can devise it into three parts beginning, middle and end. The beginning I get a strange sensation in my head almost like tension combined with electricity i am aware that my mind feels more sharpened and focused but yet at the same time i am aware of feeling unable to concentrate on anything but what people describe on this forum as "mind chatter". The middle phase i tend to have obsessive thoughts can be about some memory that happened years ago, philosophic theory's of life or how my anxiety came to exist. This usually leads me to switch on the computer and research what ever i'm obsessing about i can get lost in this all day/night on a couple of occasions i have tried not to switch on the laptop and ride it out but usually the research relieves the symptoms a little enables me to focus the mental energy i have but in return its a cycle or sorts because it can prolong the attack and increase the anxiety. Finally you have the end phase my mind burns out gradually i become suddenly sleepy and calm and go to sleep regardless weather it is night or day. In conclusion i believe i could have anxiety but other things have been suggested to me. what type of anxiety do you think i have if any? You may be asking haven't i gone to a doctor what did the doctor say? I have i am very sorry to say my doctor is not the best doctor he would rather give me pills and see how i go then try to figure out what is wrong with me in any case i think doctors can only understand so much i would rather talk to people who are living through a similar experience or not (as maybe the case) to gain much need clarification.

Thanks Matthew

[MMA_Matthew]

Has nobody got an opinion or analysis on this?

[jbevis]

I don't know about your kind of anxiety but you should seek out a psychiatrist or therapist if your not happy with your general doctor.

[Alex010096]

It could be that the doctor wants to see how you respond to the medications. That would indicate to him/her what is going on with you. However, some doctors choose not to label types of mental illness. Some people, once labelled with anxiety or depression act the part subconsciously, as they feel they're expected to do. They identify with their label instead of as a person who is struggling with one of these issues. Maybe it doesn't really matter what you call it as long as you have the courage to work through it?
Otherwise, I agree with the other comment posted here.

[notmyself30]

When I had my first panic attack I went to the ER (thinking I was dying of a heart attack) they then had me follow up with a MD. I had new insurance so I ended up with a new doctor that didn't know me at all and she have me a script for Xanax and Celexa. I took them both and I got worse. I didn't know what to expect or what the hell was going on. I then stopped both and went to a shrink and that helped so much because he was able to pin point what was causing the anxiety and we went from there. I still have a fear of taking meds for fears of side effects BUT I can control my anxiety better now. So i would also suggest going and talking to a doctor who understands what you are going through. Hope this helps!!

[SueWith2]

Its hard to say really. I can relate on researching, and maybe on substance abuse on the past, but thats about it. My mind pretty much relives everything wrong with me and beats me up, worries and guilts. But I have clinical depression as well. my panic attacks for example would be if im not in control of a situation that i need to be i start flipping out inside..and a little on the outside. Sorry if im not making sense..having a rough night.

[MMA_Matthew]

Hi everyone thanks for the posts so far. Sue your post was the most interesting to me. When i have an attack that visits back to past memory's i experience the " beat ups" too as well as the "worries and guilt" which can be a bit distressing because when not having an anxiety attack i am a confident, forward self loving person. Reflecting on the researching i believe it may be us trying to control the situation? because when we research things we are been proactive and feel better in knowing a little more of what could be wrong with us. I think i partly obsess over the substance abuse and what damage it could of done to the brain region this is where i could probably benefit from seeing a therapist like people have mentioned maybe a change of GP would be in order aswell.

[SueWith2]

that makes sense for sure. My next step is seeing a psychologist, my insuance lapsed right before my 1st appt. bahh. I think about the substance use a lot when i' trying to figure out why i'm like i am. The truth is i can remember being weird/over emotional at as young as four, and my teen angst/depression was pre substances too. being a "self guilter" might be why we are trying to blame our own mistakes. using an on screen keyboard, mine broke..sorry for errors.

[ABJac13]

Anxiety comes differently to everyone, and it comes in waves. I'm not to familiar with your past , but from your explanation of everything, you have created some type of post traumatic reaction in your life. The feeling you get in your heads are probably hyperactivity (racing thoughts /hyper awareness/sped up sensation) and brain zaps (I get these all the time). The obsessive thoughts is just your way of analyzing the experience which makes it worse until the climax where you need to escape or gain control which you do via computer. Everyone has a safety method. I've been dealing with this shit forever man and the best thing you can do is gather all your thoughts talk to a good psych, and figure out if this is just a tonight pattern you can brake or if its a more complex hormonal imbalance in which case medicine will undoubtedly be needed. Feel free to message me if you have any questions

- A

[Lin]

I would go back and talk to your GP so that you can assess what type of help you need. There is so much help available in the form of different tablets, meditation, alternatives such as reflexology and talking therapies. The NHS and mental health people run really good courses where you can learn lots about yourself and what works for you, but you need to find out about accessing them.

[MMA_Matthew]

Thanks for your posts everyone they are really helping. ABJac13 you have said something i have never thought of before perhaps my stbstance abuse have created a sort of post traumatic stress? the things you have discribed i seem to indentifiy with on more then one level this is an intresting perspective how do you personaly combat with this?

[ABJac13]

Thanks for your posts everyone they are really helping. ABJac13 you have said something i have never thought of before perhaps my stbstance abuse have created a sort of post traumatic stress? the things you have discribed i seem to indentifiy with on more then one level this is an intresting perspective how do you personaly combat with this?

Hey MMA,

While I'm not therapist, I've spent my whole life dealing with mental difficulties and I've learned a lot in the process. I don't fully understand what exactly your struggles are, but in my experience forgiving the people or person that caused the pain is very cathartic, even if that persons yourself. You may on some levels resent yourself for the choices you made, but the healing process can start when you begin to take your life now and reflect on how far you've come, and continuously remind yourself that you've made positive changes and that's a huge accomplishment. My favorite quote of all time: "the past is our definition, we may try with good reason to escape our past or what is bad in it, but we can only escape it only by adding something better to it." Let yourself off the hook for all of your choices because you can't go back now, focus on rewarding yourself for the steps you are making now. I think this will help you relinquish the need to control stuff so much or find answers on Internet. Just think about your past everyday, but at the end of your thinking end with where you are at now, how much better thing are. When you feel that brainzap, remember you've felt it before and you'll feel it again, but you get through it every single time. When you have obsessive thoughts, bring yourself to the moment and shake yourself and remind yourself those thoughts are old, they are unnecessary now and meaningless. And when you go to the computer for answers, remember you created the problem only you have the answers.

-A