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JaimieThom
07-23-2007, 06:40 PM
Hi, I'm 21 years old and my name is Jaimie. I've had anxiety for about 6 months now. It's seems like everyday I'm constantly thinking about things that could possibly happen to me, such as, nuclear war, the massive earthquake that's supposed to hit the Seattle area anytime now, being killed silently by a sniper, and more. It just terrifies me to know that my life could be ended at anytime without being aware of it.

My biggest fear is probably the fear of dying in my sleep. I hate going to sleep, because there's always that possibility that I may not wake up, because my house may catch fire, an airplane could hit my house, basically anything could happen. My Mom always says that if I die in my sleep, then I won't realize, but that's exactly what I'm afraid of--dying without be aware of it. I guess that I would rather die a slow death, so that I could at least say goodbye to the people that I love.

I hate living life with the constant fear of death. I know that I should live life free without worry, but it's hard not to think about these things.
I wish I believed in God, so that I wouldn't have to worry so much, because if I die, then I'll go on to an afterlife.

Instead, I believe that when I die, I die that's it. I used to believe in God, but around 16 I stopped believing. I try to believe, but just can't.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with GAD and prescribed me Celexa, but I stopped taking it, because it made me constantly drowsy and it had other unpleasant side effects. I think that taking another SSRI would have the same effect/feeling.

Anyways, sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent some of my frustrations. I guess I really came on here for my fear of sleep. Any help or suggestions?

squirt
07-24-2007, 01:38 PM
I used to be like you where I worried about EVERYTHING and it does not have to be like that. Have you ever heard of cbt? I was in a cbt group and it has helped me immensely. If you can join one I would highly recommend it. If not there are lots of good books on cbt you could get and you really do all the work yourself with cbt so a therapist is just there to encourage and inspire you to work at the exercises. The one that really helped me that we used in my group was called Been there, done that? do this! by Sam Obitz. Its a short book and has a really good introduction to the whole process. You can even read the foreword to the book on-line here: http://www.supertao.com/book_forward.html
The tea form exercise in the book has helped me a ton and I still do them all the time when I get upset or anxious. I hope you give cbt a try because if you work at the exercises it can change your life :)

JaimieThom
07-24-2007, 02:01 PM
Thanks.
I just had a psych appointment today and she said we'll be starting cbt next week. I'll definitely check out the book and some other books, so that I can start working on some of the stuff myself.

Winterbreeze
07-26-2007, 11:40 AM
Wow, would you mind reading my post and say if you ever had something familiar to what I described? in the welcome discussion.
I'm also going to post something about a research in the general discussion as reply to a message I think it was titled Death.
Please read it.

dorigen
07-26-2007, 02:56 PM
CBT will definitely help you. Hopefully your therapist will do some exposure therapy as well- making you purposely think your thoughts all the way through imagining the worst case scenario. I found that CBT was too much writing (i hate writing, takes too long) so i asked my therapist to give me more exercises i could talk out or do in my head.

You should check out The Worry Cure, because he makes a great point that most people who suffer with anxiety never think their worries all the way through to the end. For instance, you may notice that your fears of nuclear war, or sickness or dying are just fragments of thoughts, and you get stuck imaging or thinking one thing over and over. If you force yourself to go step by step of what would happen in the scenario and what you would do to cope, most of the time you realize 1. that's its not that big of a deal and you could cope, or 2. it's completely unlikely that it will happen, and it becomes funny.

I consider myself a smart person, but it's weird because when i try to force myself to think all the way through a worry, i have a really hard time, my mind blanks, it feels impossible, etc. but once i force myself to do it, it ends up seeming funny and the anxiety is gone.

I was spending 10 minutes a day with these "what if" scenarios , actually speaking them out loud. It sounds silly, but it really helped.

squirt
07-30-2007, 06:19 PM
Thanks.
I just had a psych appointment today and she said we'll be starting cbt next week. I'll definitely check out the book and some other books, so that I can start working on some of the stuff myself.

That is great news Jaimie :D Let me know if you have any questions and I'll try and be there for you. I'm excited that you are diving in already, you'll be glad you did and make sure and do your homework exercises everyday and you'll get some relief pretty soon!

squirt
10-09-2007, 12:35 PM
How's it going Jamie? I hope you are continuing to make more progress :D

derkmesiter
11-14-2007, 04:17 PM
thanks for going into detail.

squirt
01-14-2008, 06:31 PM
Sadly Jamie never came back Derk :(