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View Full Version : Maybe a way out ? Understand your self- Are you also an ISFP?



Nelly
04-19-2013, 07:43 AM
Dear all,
i post this because it has meant a lot to me. I try to stay off meds, even though my doc says it would do me good. maybe it could help me, but some how I see my anxiety as a wake up call.
i feel social phobia and anxiety for other reasons than what has to do with meds.
To me my anxiety is connected to the fact that I am afraid of getting to know my self. I am afraid there is 'nothing in there' if I begin to look inside my self. I tell my self, that 'u are empty and useless, look at the way people ignore u. U are nothing'
BUT I am working on accepting my self as I am.
I is tremendously difficult and a walk on thin line - but it is SO wonderful.
Do you also get a bit angry, when people say 'just be yourself'.
And u are like: but which me, I am nothing and everything. Or u might think: which one- this depressed piece of person? But the point is, that your living being - you as a person - cant be identical with depression and fear. I found that there is no 'negative self'.
Again there is a difference between the anxious you and your inner true self.

Can you feel that too?
Can you take a moment and feel if this is true in your case also?

What does your inner true self feel like? Who are you, when you are your true self?

I never could find the answers to these questions- who am I, if I am not my anxiety.
I would live to hear from anyone of you guys who feel like sharing your selves - who are you, when you are not your anxiety?
Of course it is difficult to describe yourself, but maybe describe activities that makes you feel safe ?

Or maybe you want to read about these personalitytypes and share if you too can recognize yourself as an ISFP or some other combination of characteristics.
Next post gives you the link :-)

What characterizes you as a person?

Once I have started meditating and everyday struggle and insist on accepting my self no matter how silly I think I look, or what awkward things, I think I say - I insist on accepting my self as I am. I insist on being truly me - which means that I am facing my biggest devil, which is that I am not perfect .
How spoiled of me to think that I have to be perfect - that I, as the only one I the universe, am not allowed to make mistakes and to find my self with dust in my mouth when I try to speak to people. When my fear overwhelmes me and I sink into a black whole inside my body. Of shame and self hatred. When I feel the tip of these feelings today, I see it as a message, saying : dear nelly, now it is the time, when you can choose to accept yourself with kindness and overbearing, or to punish yourself and drive you closer to the black depression of fear inside yourself'.

Okay, this post turned out longer than I thought :) I forgive my self for being me :) do you? And is this a question than brings you a glimpse of relief?
Best wishes, Nelly

Nelly
04-19-2013, 07:45 AM
I can't post the link here for some reason, but just google ISFP, then it's the first result that comes up.

Alex010096
04-19-2013, 07:20 PM
I think I have a lot of those traits. I would say that i am a book learner as opposed to a hands-on learner, though.
I'm definitely a perfectionist and have a difficult time appreciating my good qualities. I need to learn to be good to me. It's awesome that you are starting on that journey.

Nelly
04-19-2013, 11:10 PM
Hi Alex - have you heard of this Meyers-Briggs personality thing before? It's inspired by Jung, as far as I know. There is maybe 16 major personality types. Of course none of us are exactly like the types, but its made with the idea that we all have a preferred way of being that we usually rely in and navigate through life with.

If you like reading more than sensing surroundings, maybe you are more like an INTP - the scientist. This abbreviation means introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, perceiving.
Which is opposed to
Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging.

Which combination of the 8 traits do you think matches you the most?
BR, Nelly

Alex010096
04-20-2013, 11:03 PM
I think introverted, intuitive, thinking and perceiving describes me well :) thank you for helping me find my type.
I have heard a bit about that. I took psychology for a credit in university. I have never looked at it in relation to myself, though.
It's so important for us to have good relationships with ourselves in order to get over anxiety. Today, I was at a party where my good friends were present, but still felt way out of place. I realized that to take care of me would be to get home, so I did. Building that type of relationship with ourselves is incredibly important in order to grow to love ourselves. It's nice to know a bit about the me that I'm trying to grow to love :)

jessed03
04-20-2013, 11:25 PM
This is an enlightened post Nelly.

It in essence described the transition in thinking and perception that I underwent in order to not cure my anxiety disorder, but rather transcend it. To realize who or what you are at your VERY core, and strip everything away until you reach that, is in my opinion the only true way of overcoming mental trauma in the long term. Jung talked about this. The idea of the shadow. Of being a whole person. Reconciling your opposite, and getting the 'demons' in you, into their proper place.

I've spent years now since my disorder set in, observing emotions, and what my body was trying to tell me. Not in the case of something is wrong, but what was it REALLY saying. Almost all of the time, it came to a point of needing love, and needing acceptance. For me, those were my issues. Almost all of my anxiety problems, and my frustrations, stemmed in one way or another from that longing. Everytime it came up, that feeling of frustration, insecurity, or anxiety, I would always read into the situation, rather than listen to the message. The message was ALWAYS the same for me. The medium in which is was delivered was very different however.

"If the same thing keeps arising, it's because you haven't learnt the lesson"

Keep up this type of posting. Not everyone will be in a place to make use of them, but the ones who are will find the direction you suggest to them to be invaluable. :) It's such a long journey, the journey of self discovery, but a journey you never look back from once you've started.

Nelly
04-21-2013, 03:11 PM
Hi Alex and jessed

Nice to hear that you found the stuff about personality types useful. Me too, really. To me it is also the quest of learning to love yourself that is a key in this beautiful and realistic labyrinth called life... And I guess you just need to observe and be attentive to your self then the realization comes , or something...:) good to hear that you Alex, left the party when you didn't feel like staying. Just being true to your self.

Nelly
04-21-2013, 03:14 PM
And jessed - it's one of my mottos too, this buddist one, I think it is.

It makes life a different time for me. Life is a proces . Change is the only certainty so we might just change with it.