Help -.-

[Kellie]

So i have been with my long distance boyfriend for 3 years now and we see each other about once a month.. He's coming to my town to go to the drag races but he wants me to go. There is no escape out there at the track and there will be so many people.. The thing is he doesn't understand the whole anxiety thing.. If i say no he will see it as though i don't want too see him.. What do i do? -.-

[alankay]

Open up about your anxiety. For the relationship to work you need someone who truly understands this and your struggles IMHO. Alankay

[Kellie]

Open up about your anxiety. For the relationship to work you need someone who truly understands this and your struggles IMHO. Alankay

He really doesn't like talking about it and i make him listen and he just sits there and changes the subject..

[Kellie]

Howdy

Not sure if its too late now but this is nothing to do with your BF .

This is honestly about what you are telling yourself , You are so convinced that something is going to happen that your brain is believing this.

In order to get past it you have to tell yourself i have done it before , never had a problem and that there is nothing that can harm me .

No escape from what may i ask . It is from the way it makes you feel . Address it or it will build and build and this is how people end up being stuck in the house scared to leave .

Get Dr Weekes Hope and help for your nerves , It explains this very well .

No matter how much i try, the more i think about it the worst it gets so either way its making me so anxious! At the race track it is somewhere where i can't just leave if i feel like i am going to panic..

[locksey]

No matter how much i try, the more i think about it the worst it gets so either way its making me so anxious! At the race track it is somewhere where i can't just leave if i feel like i am going to panic..

Are u goin by car ? As , that could b yr escape ( that's what I do sumtimes ) ..... If I'm sumwhere open and big then my car is a safe place / escape

[Kellie]

Are u goin by car ? As , that could b yr escape ( that's what I do sumtimes ) ..... If I'm sumwhere open and big then my car is a safe place / escape

I'm going with my boyfriends family which don't know about my anxiety and they're not the type of people who would understand.. And my boyfriend wouldn't leave me alone even if i tried, it sucks :/ i just find it hard trying to find a way to let him down without him taking it personally!

[locksey]

Cudnt u just say to his family

" sumtimes I dnt feel very well so may need to go and sit in the car 4a bit "

That's what I say if pple dnt knw me or understand ... I just say " sumtimes I dnt feel very well "

At least then " in yr head " u have an escape route and knowing this u wil prob be fine and have a great time there

[Kellie]

Cudnt u just say to his family

" sumtimes I dnt feel very well so may need to go and sit in the car 4a bit "

That's what I say if pple dnt knw me or understand ... I just say " sumtimes I dnt feel very well "

At least then " in yr head " u have an escape route and knowing this u wil prob be fine and have a great time there

That's something i could try in the future ! Thankyou.. I know they will think i am a total fruitloop anyway -.- they're not the sensitive type..

[locksey]

No worries .... Hopefully it will wrk as that's what I do wen I am sumwhere either with my car or sumone else's .. And " yeah " I get the odd looks when I say it but where as b4 it really used to bother me , now I'm like " so what " :-)

[alankay]

Well I've never been able to just "ignore it" and that's the whole problem. Yeah it's not rational but never the less a problem and a constant in anxiety. I have read all the books, etc, which helps but still when anxiety gets high enough......, I just can't ignore it. That's the whole damned problem and it's a real medical disorder otherwise we'd develop anxiety, a good doc would just "set us straight" and there would be no need for these forums, meds, etc, etc.
Anyway folks w/o anxiety just don't understand. They don't have the same issue. Some can relate a bit and some others just accept what you're telling them but most...just don't get it. They have no phobic avoidance because, although they experience anxiety in life, it's never bad enough, long enough to develop(phobic avoidance, it doesn't develop overnight).
Anyway what to do if you can't tough it out(not always best anyway)? Can you follow in another car in case? Can you arrange for a ride back earlier with someone else who understands and sympathizes ...just in case? Sometimes I just say "sorry I sometimes get claustrophobic and don't know why, sorry"(for some reason lots of folks relate at some level and it feels good to open up a little ). Often just having ways out "in case" anxiety rears it's ugly heads helps in itself enough to get you through. True these are not real "fixes" at all but we all develop some coping techniques and these are some. I just carry some valium and my daily ssri helps reduce anxiety and panic in general. Much of it is Anticipatory Anxiety and never as bad as we thought but there's no way to tell what will happen all the time. In any case this kind of scenario is very common with folks with anxiety and I hope you can develop ways to reduce or manage your anxiety as you go along in life. I wish I had a better answer. Are you getting treatment at all yet? Alankay.

[Kellie]

There is nobody who would take me, i think the best thing is just to say no and he can just deal with it.. I know its harsh but its not about him.. I haven't started on my meds, it should be sometime this week but i am doing therapy for it now.