My story

[agj]

Hello everyone! I am new with anxiety and I just want to share my story to see if others can relate. First off, I have always been a bad worrier. A though will get and stay in my head until I know that things are okay. Anyway, It all started my second semester of college. I had just got the hang of things and everything was great my first semester. I have a wonderful boyfriend who I have been with for four years and things could not be better. However, my second semester it all went down hill. In two classes, art and english, I would get so nervous that I would blotch up and be all nervous. Whenever I would get out of the class everything would return to normal and I would feel fine. I did not like the fact that this would happen so I decided I would go to the doctor and tell him what was going on. I told him I thought it was a mild case of anxiety, so he began asking me all this scary stuff like is anyone in your family crazy or do you all have a gun in your house. I was like Im here for anxiety why is he asking these questions? I know now they have to ask these questions but it still bothered me. He also told me my weight may be another thing contributing, and I was considered obese. This really bothered me because I had always been healthy in high school and active but still a little heavy. I never thought I would be considered obese. Anyway, that night and the next day I was down on myself, but it was more me throwing a pitty party. He also described me generic Lexapro. Anyway, the following night (day after Valentines 2013) I was laying in bed with my boyfriend and as soon as the movie ended I all of the sudden had this weird feeling like something was gonna happen to me. I went outside and laid on the ground but I was still shaking and freaked out. Then all of a sudden I had the blown out panic attack. I immediately took a Lexapro but still was shaky all night. The next two days was living hell I had thoughts of me hurting myself and the panic could not leave. I finally went back to doctor thinking it was the medicine I tool but he reassured me it takes a month to kick in. They still took me off and started me on generic prozac and an as needed pill. Days began to get better but around the same time everyday (4) I would have a breakdown. The thoughts are what bother me the most. Never have I ever thought of these thoughts such as hurting myself or my boyfriend. Its like my biggest fear or worst case scenerio is running through my head from the time I wake up until I go to bed. Sleep was and is the only thing normal that is going on (besides weird dreams) There I do not have anxiety. I am no going to therapy which is helping somewhat ( i have only been 3 times) But the thoughts that I had when I would panic is still in my head and can not escape. I thought I am crazy, I will do these things, what if its not anxiety, and so on. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever been through, and I feel sorry for each and every person out there going through the same thing. Im sorry this was so long but I had to write this for myself, if you can comments would be greatly appreciated for advice, same experience, anything to help. Thank you and God bless.

[trinidiva]

Welcome, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I know that its no fun...
I personally tried Lexapro, and it didn't work for me, but a lot of people say it does wonders for them. One thing to note, it can actually increase your anxiety initially before you get to the point where it starts to actually work..which is like 4-6 weeks. I experienced EXTREME anxiety about 48-72 hours after trying it the first time around....and the doc though perhaps I was started on TOO high of a dosage. The doc also said its not uncommon for you to take a benzo like xanax while initally starting the Lexapro.
I was just telling someone on another post, the things that have actually helped me deal with my anxiety were:

Exercise, I never was too big into exercise, but once I started, I felt so good and not anxious at all afterwards.

Meditation, I found a good meditation (Tai chi) class and a good meditation app on my phone which I use quite a bit. I feel very peaceful and calm afterwards.

[agj]

Thank you trinidiva!! The generic prozac has helped alot but the thoughts are still my only problem they still scare me!!

[trinidiva]

Do you think its because you have just started the Lexapro? When I first started, my thoughts were crazy and scary. I called my doctor after hours because my thoughts were what I would consider to be manic. I ended up trying Zoloft and now I just use Buspar and xanax if I have a panic attack.

[agj]

I was only on Lexapro for 3 days then went on other and it improved but still very anxious

[agj]

Anything else someone might could help with on my story. Would love more feedback.

[jesikahlaine]

Anything else someone might could help with on my story. Would love more feedback.

I would get really down & think horrible things. I cant really pinpoint my exact thoughts my head was so muddled from the anxiety but i had horrible thoughts.
I am on zoloft now, 18th dose. Have been good but last 2 days have felt off. I know i still have a long way to go.
I still have random down thoughts but i fight them. U havent acted on them this long. Have u told ur therapist?

[agj]

Not acted at all an yes told therapist. The weird thing is I had a panic attack and the thought I had has not went away. Everytime I get a thought or worry it stays in my hard until I know everything is okay. However the future is scaring me so u can not see that everything is going to be okay as of now and that scares me.

[Judie]

Anything else someone might could help with on my story. Would love more feedback.

Hi All, I am new to this forum so I will begin by saying that I have lived with a Panic Disorder for 29 years. Therefore I am extremely interested in sharing thoughts on the subject. Looking forward to this. Hang in there guys !

[Judie]

Not really sure how to work these posts, so please be patient

[Judie]

Adj, Hi, With Panic or any form of anxiety really,your thoughts are the catalyst ( what is setting off your panic). The idea that you feel horrible is understandable given that you are having horrible thoughts, make sense ?Mind and body work together.

[Judie]

Tell me more. How long have you suffered ?

[agj]

Well I have always been a bad worrier so I think I have had it all my life but it got bad in Feb. of 2013. My life was going great I just don't get it

[jesikahlaine]

Well I have always been a bad worrier so I think I have had it all my life but it got bad in Feb. of 2013. My life was going great I just don't get it

Im honestly not just saying this... i have always been a worrier then in february all of a sudden bamm. One big panic attack & its been downhill since then. I think of how things used to be & it gets me down. I get angry at myself, at this feeling. It sucks.

[locksey]

Hi All, I am new to this forum so I will begin by saying that I have lived with a Panic Disorder for 29 years. Therefore I am extremely interested in sharing thoughts on the subject. Looking forward to this. Hang in there guys !

Hi , yeah , I joined sum weeks bak and it took me sumtime to figure this forum out but got it now :-)

[agj]

Im honestly not just saying this... i have always been a worrier then in february all of a sudden bamm. One big panic attack & its been downhill since then. I think of how things used to be & it gets me down. I get angry at myself, at this feeling. It sucks.

Wow. This is exactly me. I have not been the same since that big panic attack. I was just watching a movie when all of a sudden something happened and everything was coming in I had a weird thought.