u4ea
04-05-2013, 08:54 AM
If you read my first post you know my story….
During the past couple of weeks (eh, maybe more like week and a couple days), I thought I was making some headway over my anxiety and panic; I felt like I may be “leveling” out a bit - but now it almost seems like I’m regressing.
I didn’t even need meds - .5mg of Ativan, once a day, if I felt edgy; but other than that, I was good for the most part.
Insomnia
Throughout most of this ordeal, I was at least able to sleep well most night – not so much now. I’ve been going to bed, often with the feeling of something just “not being quite right.” Then wake up at 3am feeling weird and stay awake pretty much the remainder of the night; falling half asleep just as my girlfriend is getting up for work.
For most people – no big deal, just go back to sleep when she leaves for work. That brings me to a new symptom I’ve been experiencing.
Sudden fear of being alone
When I’m alone in the apartment I’ve notice my anxiety is heightened. Intrusive thoughts begin to race through my head – “what if something happens to me and I need help?”, “what if I pass out and nobody is around to know?” – Then my breathing feels funny, I get light headed and it’s all downhill from there.
As embarrassing as it sounds – I often drive to my parents (retired) house during the day, just so I’m not alone.
This aspect of my anxiety is really crappy and decreases the quality of my life greatly. It’s like I can’t really enjoy anything – even when I focus on a hobby 100%, I feel good and get some relief, but it’s always very temporary; and of course, my psyche always reminds me of that shadow standing just behind me – waiting for my concentration to break for just a second, so the panic can flood back in.
This whole situation just really sucks – I loved driving new places, the outdoors, and SCUBA diving; I could even fly and travel by myself.
AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME, I FEEL LIKE I’M INCAPABLE OF DOING ANY OF THEM! I would just panic and it would end badly. I honestly, never could foresee myself getting like this : (
During the past couple of weeks (eh, maybe more like week and a couple days), I thought I was making some headway over my anxiety and panic; I felt like I may be “leveling” out a bit - but now it almost seems like I’m regressing.
I didn’t even need meds - .5mg of Ativan, once a day, if I felt edgy; but other than that, I was good for the most part.
Insomnia
Throughout most of this ordeal, I was at least able to sleep well most night – not so much now. I’ve been going to bed, often with the feeling of something just “not being quite right.” Then wake up at 3am feeling weird and stay awake pretty much the remainder of the night; falling half asleep just as my girlfriend is getting up for work.
For most people – no big deal, just go back to sleep when she leaves for work. That brings me to a new symptom I’ve been experiencing.
Sudden fear of being alone
When I’m alone in the apartment I’ve notice my anxiety is heightened. Intrusive thoughts begin to race through my head – “what if something happens to me and I need help?”, “what if I pass out and nobody is around to know?” – Then my breathing feels funny, I get light headed and it’s all downhill from there.
As embarrassing as it sounds – I often drive to my parents (retired) house during the day, just so I’m not alone.
This aspect of my anxiety is really crappy and decreases the quality of my life greatly. It’s like I can’t really enjoy anything – even when I focus on a hobby 100%, I feel good and get some relief, but it’s always very temporary; and of course, my psyche always reminds me of that shadow standing just behind me – waiting for my concentration to break for just a second, so the panic can flood back in.
This whole situation just really sucks – I loved driving new places, the outdoors, and SCUBA diving; I could even fly and travel by myself.
AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME, I FEEL LIKE I’M INCAPABLE OF DOING ANY OF THEM! I would just panic and it would end badly. I honestly, never could foresee myself getting like this : (