In denial!

[staffordwag]

Hi every one i think I have anixety and had this a long time my jobs making it worst at the minute I feel sick most days and just want to cry!

I'm sure I've had panic attacks too there sudden and I can't breath properly!

what the best was to cope with out doctors appointment!!

[alfred24]

Hi every one i think I have anixety and had this a long time my jobs making it worst at the minute I feel sick most days and just want to cry!

I'm sure I've had panic attacks too there sudden and I can't breath properly!

what the best was to cope with out doctors appointment!!

Do you have these feelings a lot?

[staffordwag]

Hi yes I do most days when it bad some time I'm string and it goes but then something crap happens and I'm back to sq one again I'm big on self help book and audio CDs have been for the last 5 years when I'm in between books it comes back!!

:-(

[alfred24]

Hi yes I do most days when it bad some time I'm string and it goes but then something crap happens and I'm back to sq one again I'm big on self help book and audio CDs have been for the last 5 years when I'm in between books it comes back!!

:-(

Man trust me, this crap sucks. We all know what you feel. It's stupid and I wish we didn't have it. I wish it would just go away. What kind of foods do you eat? Is it healthy?

[Lin]

Anxiety and depression are all horrendous and so hard to deal with. If do get good day or hour and then it all goes wrong again, it then feels worse than ever. Self help books, CDs etc all help, meditation, essential oils etc etc all help, but nothing gets rid of it completely which is so frustrating. But you just have to keep trying everything in the hope that one day something works really well. Don't give in, just keep trying.

[staffordwag]

Hi Alfred
I try to eat healthy but it can be difficult as I have 1.5 kids and the other half lives to treat us to take away a lot rather than cook him self which defeat the object of him helping me around the house. Might have a look at foods that can trigger low moods maybe

Lin
Thanks I get the whole live with it I just don't want to accept this has been happening to me for ages years my mum has clinical depression dysthymia (probably spelt wrong)
My sister is self harming and the other over eats big time.

It's been my job since I sorted my love life was in a domestic violence relations ship for a whole it messed me up big time but I've always had my career to hang on too and now I want to let it go but really struggling! I manage a children's home for look after kids
:-(

[Lin]

I had five months off my job in 2011 and now had five weeks off but hope to go back on Monday. I work full time as PA to a Chief Executive which is really stressful and hard work. I am desperate to keep my job and not lose it because of illness. Even though I struggle every day to act normal and have to really try hard to concentrate, I don't want to give it up. I will regret giving it up once, hopefully, I am better. If I decide when I am better it is too much and i want to change job, that is different. So I understand how hard it is to keep working when head completely gone wrong. It is so tiring not crying or shouting or anything at work and have to be normal. My home life suffers because all my energy goes into work.

[staffordwag]

I had five months off my job in 2011 and now had five weeks off but hope to go back on Monday. I work full time as PA to a Chief Executive which is really stressful and hard work. I am desperate to keep my job and not lose it because of illness. Even though I struggle every day to act normal and have to really try hard to concentrate, I don't want to give it up. I will regret giving it up once, hopefully, I am better. If I decide when I am better it is too much and i want to change job, that is different. So I understand how hard it is to keep working when head completely gone wrong. It is so tiring not crying or shouting or anything at work and have to be normal. My home life suffers because all my energy goes into work.

I understand this so much my kids and partner suffer more than u can imagine! Input work before them to make myself feel better when really I just want to be with them I'm fighting my to do list everyday

Why can't things just run smooth!! Friend suggested acupuncture? I don't know maybe?

[Lin]

Someone recommended acupuncture to me too. I have had it for headaches before and it worked. The trouble is finding someone good and the cost. I was having reflexology and with one person it really worked but when I went to someone else she over stimulated part of my head and every time I saw her a week later my mood would really drop. So you have to make sure you get right person for your condition. But I think anything like that, if you find right person and not too expensive, then it is worth trying it. I also use essential oils . I put them on a tissue for work and sniff it to calm me down when struggling. You can get lots of oils to help with different things, but need to buy the proper oils from a good shop, and they will often advise you.

[staffordwag]

Hi Lin

I hope your day has been manageable I think I'm on a high (which means I'm excessively cleaning and not sitting down for long) I'm avoiding catching up on work stuff procrastination they call it.
I'm just about to get ready to watch my soon in a play with stage coach

I'm going to try the essential oils I have a sleep spray but it not as strong as I would like

How r you?

[staffordwag]

Hi Lin I'm going to give it a go with the oils I have a sleep spray with lavender

I've been cleaning all day excessively it what I do to try and make myself feel better but really I'm avoiding work related stuff that I should be doing instead

Going to watch my son in a play soon I'm so excited he's only 9 but really confident!

How's your day going?

[Lin]

I did well yesterday. Managed to go to see a neighbour friend not seen to talk to for about 2 years, so really pleased managed it. Also hydrotherapy on my knees went well yesterday.

It is our anniversary today so going try 2 shops in town early morning, and then booked table at pub at 6 pm when it opens so quiet. Will be first time gone out for anniversary for couple of years so hoping it goes well. Also going try really hard not let head flip today, so that I give my husband a nice day for a change.

Hope you had better day yesterday and day goes OK today.

[Lin]

Forgot to say - worried if going back to work on Monday. Knees are well enough now but not sure about head. Head so much better without pressure of work. But my colleague hates covering for me and is expecting me back. See my Dr on Monday morning so will leave it up to him. But worried if don't go back now might not want to go back and will be harder when do, but home life much better when not working. Husband says not worry until speak to Dr but on my mind - think I know I should and need to go back, but really not sure I want to. When my head flips it is hard at home, but really really hard at work and covering it up is so difficult!

[Lin]

Forgot to say worried might go back to work on Monday. Knees are ready but not sure about head. But my colleague hates covering for me and wants me back to work. Husband says not worry until talk to Dr on Monday. Know if don't go back now it will be even harder when I do, but just don't know if can. Less pressure with no work is so much better, and when head flips much easier at home than when have to hide it at work.

[staffordwag]

Yesturday I had a good day choose to call work in the morning and let them know I was contactable over the weekend we have had new work mobiles SIM cards and as I've been off on annual leave I haven't travel to pick mine up! I have to be on call when not on annual leave just for advice and emergencies so I never switch off but yesterday a cleaning spree really helped and last night I set my self 3 task to do at home today only related to work.

The other half has a bad shoulder and I'm so angry with him as I want him to be happy and hug me better when I'm feeling low I understand he's in pain but so I'm I in my head!

I invited my sons friend over for sleep over last night he woke up at midnight stressing. Out feeling sick and assorted he told me he had never slept over his friend before I realised he was unsettled so I talked to him re-assured him until he feel back asleep I got back into bed could sleep started surfing the net looking for jobs and found some potentials to apply for.

I'm back at work Monday after only working two days in three weeks I'm dreading the place due An inspection and that's what brought this whole thing on just over a year ago!

If a get another bad inspection mark I'm probably going to loose my job!

[Lin]

You need to be positive about inspection and it will go better - do some meditation and get calm about the inspection and write down some positive thoughts you can keep in your head to help you get through the inspection. It will go much better if you can try be positive.

Shame about his shoulder and not able to have cuddles - I know how good it is to have a cuddle when feeling low. But try feeling sorry for him - not easy, but try. You could offer to massage it and then physical contact that way might help you too.

Work is so much pressure all time. My husband keeps saying forget about it until see Dr and he decides I am going back, but just had disastrous early trip into town, even though went early and as organised as could be, so now more than ever worried head won't manage work if go back!

[staffordwag]

Yeah your right about being positive I've just rang work and everything seems in order I'm use to negative drama so it weird

Just writing a well over due report now and then going to relax for a little bit

Why did going to town upset you? Can your recognise any triggers?

[Lin]

Yes, husband reckoned I had wrong order numbers in Argos but he was in wrong screen. So got upset and he started criticising what I did after that while waited for goods. Then bought him DVD in WHSmith for anniversary as surprise because he was sad I didn't get it for him this morning. But when gave it to him he said I had been ripped off as cheaper at Tesco because I had bought version which is DVD, bluray and digital. Also had list ready for Body Shop but they didn't have something so flustered but lucky early and girl remembered me and helped me. Then at bank in queue met someone used to work with so had to have conversation and so flustered when got to till.

So disappointed wanted good anniversary day and not gone well so far!

[jbevis]

So disappointed wanted good anniversary day and not gone well so far!

I'm sorry to hear that Lin, I hope your day gets better!

[Lin]

Thanks, day did get better - just had some flowers delivered from my husband so feel better now. Just keep fingers crossed continues OK.

[staffordwag]

Thanks, day did get better - just had some flowers delivered from my husband so feel better now. Just keep fingers crossed continues OK.

Aww Lin I'm sorry to see your day up town was difficult
Heres my run up to town today driving along and I decide I'm going to park some where on the outside I though the walk would do me good the other half starts harnessing me because I'm out if our usual routine then I become angry change my mind and drive to the multi storey where I find it really difficult to park we get in the life and I just wanted to hit him coz he was giving me the look of disgrace urrrg I can't seem to do anything right I'm then walking and he won't hold my hand without force so I start to take the nick out of him it's awful coz we are made about each other and don't raw much at all

I did get some essential oils deep sleep from the body shop so going to try that later the thought of Mondays work is lingering in the back of my head with this uncomfortable feeling in my chest!

Just watching the voice with my son and other half doing something as a family for a change!

[Lin]

Sounds like we both had a mixed day yesterday of good and bad, but just hold on to the good bits and realise not all bad. Our evening went in I managed to walk to send from pub and we had nice meal and no arguments! I fell asleep rest of evening but at least it meant we went to bed OK and not on an argument. Really worried about work tomorrow. Looked at me work emails yesterday and it did not make me keen to go back like I thought it would. Will really let my colleague down if don't go back though but just not sure head is ready, but know will make it harder in few weeks time to go back. Trying no it to worry all day and see what GP says tomorrow and let him decide - just be honest about everything and see what happens. (Know going to worry all day.)

[staffordwag]

(Know going to worry all day.)

I was woken up to my son being sick at 5am this morning I could get back to sleep for a where woke up with a head ache

Email and the ring tone of my works phone freaks me out every time.

I question of the level i am at Is the problem! Or just lack of training?

I like being good at my job not struggling with time and understanding I'm dyslexic and probably dispraxic too which really doesn't help with things like reports and time management

I have a flexible working agreement with the company which doesn't help as I constantly feel
Like a problem to them and a burden!!

Going go and by some Fish for a fish tank my other half has bought from car boot today maybe thats will distract me!!

Positive thought today last day before I work back into hell

Fingers crossed for you Lin x

[Lin]

You must be good at your job for them to allow you to have a flexible working arrangement. You should see this as a bonus, not worry about it.

If you are worried about your level or your training, perhaps you could try talking about it to your line manager, either so you put your mind at rest that you are fine as you are, or if you do need changes or training it can be arranged for you. You would then put your mind at rest and could stop worrying about all of this.

Hope you enjoy buying your fish today.

We both need to start enjoying home life, and stop the worry of work intruding on home life - but not easy is it!!!

Fingers crossed for you too, and that you have a good day.

Lin x

[Lin]

Dear Staffirdwag
Just sent you a private message.
Hope you will respond to me on private message as I feel we understand each other.
Lin