redorangeyellowfree
04-02-2013, 12:11 PM
I basically wrote this out in my blog that only myself can read. But part off the process was the share this with fellow 'sufferers'. Anxiety refers to social anxiety. Any reference to depression has been a result of SA.
This post will be:
1. Inspirational
2. A turning point
3. Eye opening
So I have three things swirling around in my head, taking over rational and sensible thoughts.
1. "Can't deal with anxiety/ depression, not worth it... How am I going to live my life like this?" Obviously a horrible thing to think, but anyone with depression or anxiety will have had negative thoughts cross their mind when it all gets too much
2. "I give up - see you later career, bumping into people I know and the complexities of whatever I am trying to achieve"
Tried this - lived in the outback, knew no one apart from my partner, worked in a cafe doing mind dumbing days and nights. My little problems followed me... right there to the outback! I would panic seeing the cafe owners son in the nearest supermarket an hour away, panic when my boss spoke to me at work, it still got my down a lot of times... And at times was lonely without friends and family who were my support at home.
3. Think "FUCK THIS! I am as young as I ever will be - and how many times have I thought about the past wished I hadn't worried so much about those problems I had and how I'd love to be that age again. Life is too short to have been dealt with this shitty hand!"
I went with option 3.
I did/ do the following:
1. Challenge myself. Petrified of speaking in a meeting but see yourself completely different in the future - career person, a manager of some kind etc? Then it is time to LOOK FORWARD to my next opportunity to speak. Guess what, it will be controlled (I've chosen to speak), it will be that extra step closer to getting to be the me I want too be and the best point of all... I want this thing to go away as soon as possible! Therefore I am excited about the prospect of public speaking (or whatever task you are scared of). Meeting is tomorrow? GOOD, not dread - I can't wait to beat this thing and the minute I sit there, take a few breaths and start speaking, every word is beating this shitty anxiety back to wherever it came from!
Another good thing is, for example, say at work (I use work as an example as it was my most anxious and all -consuming part of my life), there is someone you never speak to or avoid speaking to. Think "Do you know what, I'm just gonna say Hi, How are you?" rather than a sheepish walk past.
2. Say to yourself 'I Don't Blush". For example, I started a new job and with that is the adrenaline and fresh slate introductions to everyone. I did not blush for the first 2 months, it was AMAZING. I 'acted' confident and people 'believed' it. I kept so busy that hey- who has time to blush? Then for some unknown reason, after getting back from holiday, it crept back a tad. I thought, right you can piss right off, thank you very much. I made sure any bad habits (avoiding situations, giving things a second thought before doing them etc) needed to be spotted early by myself and eliminated. I made sure I got up often from my desk, that if I needed to speak to someone that I got up without thinking and went straight to the room. I made sure I looked the part, dressed smartly and feeling better about myself - this made me believe what people told me, not what I told myself (I'm decent looking, have a good job with prospects, I am kind and caring -> my mind has been telling me since as long as I remember 'You are ugly, embarrassing, not very nice and a loser'. Why should that dictate my life? Those thoughts can have about 5 minutes of my time, then they can also piss off back to where they came from).
3. Don't think just DO! The less you over think, the easier it is just to go ahead and say what you want to say, be funny, respond with ease, react quickly or even getting up to do something. It truly is amazing. You can switch off your brain - I calmed the noise of myself talking myself down and replaced with being as busy as possible and not second thinking anything that came out of my mouth. Sure, some things may sound a bit goofy, but 1 in ten times where I get involved in conversation and activities, whereas 100% of the time being quiet, not daring to speak up or just WAITING to blush when someone speaks to you. There is such a difference in sitting there, thinking who cares what anyone thinks, we are all the same to having this big aura of anxiety around you waiting for you to be provoked to crack.
4. Say YES. Collegues going out to lunch and you wouldn't usually go? GO - each time will get you slightly closer to these people and one more thing in common. A friend or kind- of friend invites you to something you would normally say no to? GO? Fuck it, life is too short to let this tiny part of your life take over, why does it deserve to? You are fun, kind hearted, thoughtful, beautiful and a good person. Go let everyone else see.
5. No more 'Normal'. What even is normal? Everyone is so different. On the surface you are calm and collected, friendly and hard working. Underneath - you may have pangs of anxiety but you combat these with thing such as CBT or counselling (who needs to know and do not be ashamed.. celebrities have therapists - god, everyone would if they could!).
6. Exercise. Literally yoga (calming and good for you mind - one hour of not thinking about anything at all.. yes please), running, a gym session or gym class (this is the biggest anxiety beater- everyones self conscious, everyone is there to get fit, everyone is RED and sweaty - no one cares what they or anyone else looks like). It gets your brain clearing out thoughts, you feel fab about yourself after and hey - why not have something else to focus on; train for a 5k run, getting extra flexible, an activity for charity - who has time to get anxious when you have one more thing to add to your plate!
7. Love yourself and all your little quirks. Remember you aren't the only one in the world with this. You are just that little bit extra thoughtful and caring - a study showed that those who look like they get embarrassed (so a massive percentage off the population, those that don't cannot possibly be human ;) ) are perceived as more friendly, approachable and caring. Think about it! There is a reason you your close friends and family love you to bits, you are an incredible person. Look in the mirror now, wipe any tears away and believe it.
I hope this helps anyone, even if just a couple of tips jump out to you.
x
This post will be:
1. Inspirational
2. A turning point
3. Eye opening
So I have three things swirling around in my head, taking over rational and sensible thoughts.
1. "Can't deal with anxiety/ depression, not worth it... How am I going to live my life like this?" Obviously a horrible thing to think, but anyone with depression or anxiety will have had negative thoughts cross their mind when it all gets too much
2. "I give up - see you later career, bumping into people I know and the complexities of whatever I am trying to achieve"
Tried this - lived in the outback, knew no one apart from my partner, worked in a cafe doing mind dumbing days and nights. My little problems followed me... right there to the outback! I would panic seeing the cafe owners son in the nearest supermarket an hour away, panic when my boss spoke to me at work, it still got my down a lot of times... And at times was lonely without friends and family who were my support at home.
3. Think "FUCK THIS! I am as young as I ever will be - and how many times have I thought about the past wished I hadn't worried so much about those problems I had and how I'd love to be that age again. Life is too short to have been dealt with this shitty hand!"
I went with option 3.
I did/ do the following:
1. Challenge myself. Petrified of speaking in a meeting but see yourself completely different in the future - career person, a manager of some kind etc? Then it is time to LOOK FORWARD to my next opportunity to speak. Guess what, it will be controlled (I've chosen to speak), it will be that extra step closer to getting to be the me I want too be and the best point of all... I want this thing to go away as soon as possible! Therefore I am excited about the prospect of public speaking (or whatever task you are scared of). Meeting is tomorrow? GOOD, not dread - I can't wait to beat this thing and the minute I sit there, take a few breaths and start speaking, every word is beating this shitty anxiety back to wherever it came from!
Another good thing is, for example, say at work (I use work as an example as it was my most anxious and all -consuming part of my life), there is someone you never speak to or avoid speaking to. Think "Do you know what, I'm just gonna say Hi, How are you?" rather than a sheepish walk past.
2. Say to yourself 'I Don't Blush". For example, I started a new job and with that is the adrenaline and fresh slate introductions to everyone. I did not blush for the first 2 months, it was AMAZING. I 'acted' confident and people 'believed' it. I kept so busy that hey- who has time to blush? Then for some unknown reason, after getting back from holiday, it crept back a tad. I thought, right you can piss right off, thank you very much. I made sure any bad habits (avoiding situations, giving things a second thought before doing them etc) needed to be spotted early by myself and eliminated. I made sure I got up often from my desk, that if I needed to speak to someone that I got up without thinking and went straight to the room. I made sure I looked the part, dressed smartly and feeling better about myself - this made me believe what people told me, not what I told myself (I'm decent looking, have a good job with prospects, I am kind and caring -> my mind has been telling me since as long as I remember 'You are ugly, embarrassing, not very nice and a loser'. Why should that dictate my life? Those thoughts can have about 5 minutes of my time, then they can also piss off back to where they came from).
3. Don't think just DO! The less you over think, the easier it is just to go ahead and say what you want to say, be funny, respond with ease, react quickly or even getting up to do something. It truly is amazing. You can switch off your brain - I calmed the noise of myself talking myself down and replaced with being as busy as possible and not second thinking anything that came out of my mouth. Sure, some things may sound a bit goofy, but 1 in ten times where I get involved in conversation and activities, whereas 100% of the time being quiet, not daring to speak up or just WAITING to blush when someone speaks to you. There is such a difference in sitting there, thinking who cares what anyone thinks, we are all the same to having this big aura of anxiety around you waiting for you to be provoked to crack.
4. Say YES. Collegues going out to lunch and you wouldn't usually go? GO - each time will get you slightly closer to these people and one more thing in common. A friend or kind- of friend invites you to something you would normally say no to? GO? Fuck it, life is too short to let this tiny part of your life take over, why does it deserve to? You are fun, kind hearted, thoughtful, beautiful and a good person. Go let everyone else see.
5. No more 'Normal'. What even is normal? Everyone is so different. On the surface you are calm and collected, friendly and hard working. Underneath - you may have pangs of anxiety but you combat these with thing such as CBT or counselling (who needs to know and do not be ashamed.. celebrities have therapists - god, everyone would if they could!).
6. Exercise. Literally yoga (calming and good for you mind - one hour of not thinking about anything at all.. yes please), running, a gym session or gym class (this is the biggest anxiety beater- everyones self conscious, everyone is there to get fit, everyone is RED and sweaty - no one cares what they or anyone else looks like). It gets your brain clearing out thoughts, you feel fab about yourself after and hey - why not have something else to focus on; train for a 5k run, getting extra flexible, an activity for charity - who has time to get anxious when you have one more thing to add to your plate!
7. Love yourself and all your little quirks. Remember you aren't the only one in the world with this. You are just that little bit extra thoughtful and caring - a study showed that those who look like they get embarrassed (so a massive percentage off the population, those that don't cannot possibly be human ;) ) are perceived as more friendly, approachable and caring. Think about it! There is a reason you your close friends and family love you to bits, you are an incredible person. Look in the mirror now, wipe any tears away and believe it.
I hope this helps anyone, even if just a couple of tips jump out to you.
x