Shacking in my PJs

[Moonstone]

Oh man, the last few days I have woken up out of a short sleep, and BAM! My heart starts racing,my PJ T-shirt is soaked with sweat, vision messed up, thoughts spinning...One of the reoccuriNg thoughts is how frigged up I must be and just how pathetic I am, that I am almost stuck at home cause I am fearful that others will see pathetic written across my forehead or something. And the feeling of lonLiness...wow. Its almost tangable.

This is such a scary feeling. Also the feeling of having ice water running thru my veins.

I need to learn how to self sooth. And I am so hard on myself too. I would Never. Think someone is pathetic going thru this. My heart is filled with love and compassion for others going thru this. But I seem to just verbaly attck myself when I feel so vulnerable like this. GEeeeez!

Sorry if there are spelling mistakes, I am doing this off my phon and my vision is messed up. The small screen doesn't help either I guess. Man this feeling of lonliness is oppressive.

I can really use your help.

[jessed03]

That sounds horrible MoonStone.

You are having a real panic attack there, aren't you. None of this semi-nervous stuff, you have the real deal. Ice water through the veins. That brings back bad memories right here.

A really quirky, but wise therapist told me a lot of high up people, talk to themselves like complete babies in times of stress and anxiety. Almost the way a mother would talk to them if they were 6 again. "Shhh, shhh, I know you feel really bad, but you're completely ok, nothing will happen to you, in the morning you'll be fine."

I quite liked that technique, I found it really soothing a lot of the time. I guess we've all got that terrified kid in us somewhere, wanting to be comforted.

[NixonRulz]

And when you beat yourself up for feeling bad, it puts even more pressure on you, which leads to stress, which leads to a pain attack

Then the best part. You can start the whole fu@kin cycle over again.

Damn you Anxiety! I banish you to hell.

[Moonstone]

Thank you so much Jess and Nix, I really appreciate your input and support! It does help so much that someone out there does hear you, and wants to help!
I am trying the soothing self talk, and will continue as I am sure that it takes practise.

I am going to try and sleep now, and pray I don't wake up in an anxiety attack. When it is that high, like an 8 out of 10, it is hard to control your thoughts.
Thank you so much again !! :)

[Moonstone]

Again, I have woken up with extream anxiety. :(

I got only about 4 hours of sleep. I am trying to talk myself down. I am reachIng out. I need some help please.

[jessed03]

Is this regular for you Moonstone? Or is it just a little period you are going through??

[Moonstone]

Hey there Jess so really nice to hear from you again!

This happens (waking up in this terrifying state) every so often, and stays around for a week or so.

Also I have GAD normally. I have to go out to buy a birthday gift today or latest tomorrow, but feel frozen in my apartment.

[jessed03]

Did it happen again this morning MoonStone?

[Moonstone]

Oh Jess, thank you so much for checking in on me ! It is comforting to know someone is thinking about me during this scary and lonely period of time.

I did wake up feeling in a panic, and did as you suggested and spoke to myself like I was a scared 6 year old. It did take the panic down a notch. I will practise this more.

The scary feeling that must be the lonliest feeling, is still here.

Why do I wake up in a panic? Does anyone know?

[NixonRulz]

When I used to have that wake up panic, I had no idea why

Then one day it dawned on me, I would wake up , realize I wasn't anxious then I would be afraid that I would feel it again soon then BAM, adrenaline rush and tight chest send me over the edge to a full blown attack

The cycle just repeated everyday until I think I just got tired of it and realized it was like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day

I just got bored with it and it stopped.

Tomorrow will be a different day for you

I can feel it.

[jessed03]

You're welcome Moonstone. I do like to see how people are getting on, and to see if their symptoms improve. You're never alone unless you want to be.

I'm glad something can work, even if it's just a little. I did use that technique a lot. Still do actually if I get nervous. Just surround myself with an abundance of self love and affection. Anxiety can't exist for very long in that kind of environment.

I don't know why you wake up in a panic. How much does anxiety affect you during the rest of the day? Mildly? Badly?

How old are you Moonstone? Are you M/F? It may give some clues...

[Moonstone]

Nix: Thanks for sharing your experience with me And how you deaLt with it. I am glad that U don't have to go thru that anymore!

Jess! : Really good to hear from you again. You are a very caring soul and your empathy jumps right thru this screen :). To answer your questions, I have days that the anxiety is at a 1/10 and at times it can go a 9 (10 beiNg the worst panic attack) but usually it doesn't go that far thank God literally!

I am female in my 40's with a kind husband but doesn't 'get' anxiety disorders. I haven't been able to work in a few years and he has never pushed me about it and tells me that only if I am able to work outside the home and if it would be something that I loved to do. He says that it is totally up to me. We are not rich but we get by.

I have a son who is on house arrest awaiting trial....for trafficing....cocaine....(Big Sigh). He went to good schools and grew up in a good and moral home filled with so much love...not perfect, but I put him and his needs first. Our household didn't even usually drink and never even swore really. Anyway more to say but dinner is ready.

[Moonstone]

Interesting update, a bit scary actually,

Long story short, had a bit of an accident, I fell and hurt my back and ankle...uuugghh..Went to the ER and was put on Tylenol 3's. For those in different countries, it is 30mg Codeine, 16mg caffine, and 325mg acetomenophen (tylenol)....and this morning I didn't wake up with anxiety...

That is great, it helps with pain, and seems to have helped with my anxiety...BUT isn't this how people get addicted??? Do you get what I mean? It's kinda worrying me

[Moonstone]

Hi all,
Had a few days almost anxiety free, nice break but today it came back again :( This time I thinK I know why. I have become nervous about taking my pain meds that I got after re-injuring my back and hurting my ankle. There is so much on the news about pain killers and addiction. I am taking as prescribed and it is a rather mild med, but yet I worry and the ice in my veins feeling and trembling hands have returned.

Any advice or what can I tell myself, to stop this worry and tHen the anxiety?
I hope this makes sense...

[Moonstone]

Hi all,
Just checking on something that I am thinking cuz I know my perspective is not always spot on.

OK here goes. After I revealed some more personal things about myself, such as that I am a female in her 40's, I have not heard from anyone...I have posted cuz I am going thru a difficult period and no responses. :(

Seriously is it cuz of my age? Have I said something wrong? I'd truly and really like to know.

Thanks

[locksey]

Hi all,
Just checking on something that I am thinking cuz I know my perspective is not always spot on.

OK here goes. After I revealed some more personal things about myself, such as that I am a female in her 40's, I have not heard from anyone...I have posted cuz I am going thru a difficult period and no responses. :(

Seriously is it cuz of my age? Have I said something wrong? I'd truly and really like to know.

Thanks

Hi , it wudnt be bcz u opened up etc ... Or yr age ..... Maybe pple just dnt have the answer ... :-/
Your prob find sumone will post now :-)

[jbevis]

Hi all,
Just checking on something that I am thinking cuz I know my perspective is not always spot on.

OK here goes. After I revealed some more personal things about myself, such as that I am a female in her 40's, I have not heard from anyone...I have posted cuz I am going thru a difficult period and no responses. :(

Seriously is it cuz of my age? Have I said something wrong? I'd truly and really like to know.

Thanks

Of course not moonstone!

As for the meds, I'm also afraid to take meds that are known to be addicting, so much so that I hadn't been taking the benzos my doc prescribed. Now I've been taking the as directed (one every 8 hours) and I find life slightly easier to deal with.

[jessed03]

Sorry Moonstone, I should have replied sooner. It's not because of your age, or your sex that no one replied I promise :) A lot of the time, replying to posts, and taking in information can be really tiring(as we want to give the best responses we can), that we see posts on here, and we keep intending to respond, but it gets put off. Just give it a little bump back to the top though, as you've done, and you'll get replies!

Actually I only asked incase it was something hormonal maybe, perhaps you were in your teens, or it was a 'time of the month' thing. It seems more like repressed stress though. The nights and the mornings are the worst time for sufferers usually, because of the guard we put up often reduces at those times. Our minds are often less distracted than in the day time, but also, in the case of sleep, our bodies are pretty tired from 'fighting off' all that anxiety throughout the day, and therefore the panic can creep in.

The body needs to express stress, and it will often do it during times when we are quieter, like at night, during sleep, in the mornings, times when it has more of a chance to. It needs to burn the adrenaline thats there, and it needs to process it's fears. So yeah, the stress really has to be released somehow, whether that comes through anxiety attacks, exercise, meditation etc, the body doesn't mind, it just has to do it's job.

We can often overlook how things are affecting us. Many times in my own life, I've felt like I was dealing well with something, only to realize it was causing a bigger problem to be present than I had originally thought. What is happening with your son sounds like it's causing a lot of stress. I'm not even a mother, so how I imagine it, must be even worse worry for you! Add to that your injury, and your worry about your anxiety condition (which well all do) and you can see just by reading it, it's rather a stressful place to be in.

Perhaps this is your body saying it wants a new way to release stress. Maybe what would work for you, is the same thing that worked for me. 20 minutes of meditation before I went to bed, changed the course of my sleep, and my awakening state drastically, after just a couple of weeks. I would thoroughly recommend doing it. I have some resources if you need them, there are also many online. It's incredibly, incredibly simple, yet relaxing. It's also promoted to help good sleep patterns. Anything that will relax you, will decrease your problem.

And to address your addiction concern - I also had this worry when taking drugs. I think it's more an anxiety response, rather than a logical one. Doctors are very smart with dosage requirements, and they take a patients wellbeing into account. We're very aware of addiction now, and treatment is often designed in a way to minimize risks of that. As long as things are done sensibly, the odds are very low. Plus, you are very sensible yourself, I don't believe the drugs would cause abuse problems at all.

Sorry for the late response! :)

[blondieqtpie]

I don't think lack of response is who you are... Age? Gender etc. Posting anything online can be hit or miss... Read lots or little ... Etc. And if you feel ignored just get louder and bolder ... Without being abnoxious. ( sp?). I'm proud to say I'm 36... I don't think I look my age ( I defy it with a consistent regimen in skin care). AND if people won't befriend you based on such trivial and shallow details??? It's their loss.

[princesskj]

I woken up in a panic tonight it's really scarey! I have no idea why but I woke up with the intense fear and my heart was racing feeling tight in the chest face numb and my vision gets messed up to. I hate it!!! I'm not sure what causes it I think going to bed with a lot on your mind may have an effect on you.

[blondieqtpie]

Bah to non posters. Jk... I'm sure many read and don't post. I'm just over talkative and typative... ... Ok i just made that word and can't sleep right now.

[Lin]

Not worry about why you not get responses sometimes, just sometimes people offline or people who are online just don't relate to your particular post, but might to a later one you do. I am over 40 and have clinical depression and anxiety because of hormone problems because if my age, so if i had seen your post i would probably have responded.

[Moonstone]

Wow, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your responses!! Just goes to show how my perspective can be so way off! What a good lesson for me, to ask and not just presume or assume.

To be honest, I am ashamed to say this, but I didn't come on here cause I thought no one replied. I use to get an email that says that I have a reply, but didn't get any. I must have turned it off some how.
But am so glad I checked dispite my anxiousness to see if anyone replied to me. Again, I will take this lesson away with me. I have agrophobia thinking that if I go out, people will see anxiety written all over me. And they probably don't see that 'Scarlette Letter" on me. Funny it is also the letter 'A'. LOL I will try and go out either tomorrow or the day after, need to puch myself. And trust that no one thinks that I look strange or something.

Anyway it's really late and I hope I can get a good nights rest. I need to get some affermations that will help put me into a state of deep relaxation so that I can rest properly or a mantra . Something that will tell the subconscience to just relax already. Anyone have any?


Anyway, it's late and I hope I can sleep. I need to get some affermations or a mantra that will help relax me to get a good nights sleep.

[Moonstone]

Well haven't woken up with that slap in the face anxiety that hits as soon as I wake up, but rather now it is growing thru out the day and making my stomach feel really sick. I can only eat a few almonds. I am trying my best to shut out all those 'what if' thoughts and other false worries the best I can. But it feels like the dam is about to burst.

Long story short next Monday I will start having to look after my elderly mother who has dementia and can't be left alone really. It is Just so sad to see her this way. I Hope I can be there for her with thIs anxiety sh*t. And lonliness is so oppresive but then again I don't want anyone near by either as I am afraid of being Judged. Geeeeez