Why did I get the worst end of the anxiety stick? I'm so scared.

[fabledtongues]

I really hate this, it controls my life. I got the worst end of anxiety. People usually have anxiety over the jobs, performance or something mundane, but I got the end of the stick where I constantly have derealization and I'm convinced I'm going crazy or the world isn't real.

I've had my anxiety for six months now and I am paralyzed by my anxiety. It's gotten worse and worse each month. This has been the worst.

I've started questioning my existence and the world's existence. I don't even know... why? Why do I think this stuff? It's seriously not healthy because of my horrible derealization. It gets so bad that if I try to tell myself to do something to shake my mind of the thought, I go "Why, the world isn't real anyway." It's so scary no one understands... My derealization is so bad that even regular conversation and everyday events scare me. It's truly frightening and I don't know I do it.

On top of that, I am convinced I'm going crazy. I think thoughts no normal person thinks. I think the world isn't real for some reason.

And my last problem is my religion... I am religious but with my anxiety it seems like it's pulling me away from God instead of pulling me closer. Because of my derealization I question if God is real. It scares me to no end. I love God and I want to serve Him but my anxiety is inhibiting me. Why is He letting this happen?

I feel like if this continues I will literally go crazy and have to institutionalized... I'm so scared and don't know what to do.

[jesikahlaine]

Im sorry u are feeling this. I have suffered from anxiety & panic attacks for the last 5 wks (there has been slight anxiety & panic attacks for yrs but this my 1st big event that i have needed help for.
I fought medication for weeks, thought i could do it alone or with therapy. But even my therapist suggested meds. I am now on my 5th dose of zoloft. I am slowly, very slowly feeling a tiny bit better. Just a little bit calmer.
My anxiety/attacks crippled me to the point where i couldnt (& still dont) leave the house without my mum. I had to pack up my house, re home my beloved dog, get rid of majority of my furniture so i could move back home. My relationship has suffered & the fact i was such an active mother before & now im not makes me feel hopeless & useless. But i keep telling myself there is someone always worse off. There is people suffering alone, with no help. No family no phones no internet no meds. Get into therapy, maybe discuss meds.
Im only young im nearly 25.
I am up & down at the moment 1 minute im ok & the next i have downer thoughts. Its hard but im getting there. Im suffering acid reflux (either from meds or the anxiety ) at the moment & have dropped 6kgs in about a week but im hoping these meds are right & ill get there.
There is always hope. Xx

[jesikahlaine]

Also about going insane... i thought that (& sometimes still do). My dr told me that if u think or feel like u are, u wont. Becoz ppl who loose control have no control over their thoughts. We obviously do if were thinking about it.

[fabledtongues]

Im sorry u are feeling this. I have suffered from anxiety & panic attacks for the last 5 wks (there has been slight anxiety & panic attacks for yrs but this my 1st big event that i have needed help for.
I fought medication for weeks, thought i could do it alone or with therapy. But even my therapist suggested meds. I am now on my 5th dose of zoloft. I am slowly, very slowly feeling a tiny bit better. Just a little bit calmer.
My anxiety/attacks crippled me to the point where i couldnt (& still dont) leave the house without my mum. I had to pack up my house, re home my beloved dog, get rid of majority of my furniture so i could move back home. My relationship has suffered & the fact i was such an active mother before & now im not makes me feel hopeless & useless. But i keep telling myself there is someone always worse off. There is people suffering alone, with no help. No family no phones no internet no meds. Get into therapy, maybe discuss meds.
Im only young im nearly 25.
I am up & down at the moment 1 minute im ok & the next i have downer thoughts. Its hard but im getting there. Im suffering acid reflux (either from meds or the anxiety ) at the moment & have dropped 6kgs in about a week but im hoping these meds are right & ill get there.
There is always hope. Xx

I'm sorry about your situation. I hope you get better as well. See, I want to take medication but I'm so scared and my parents strongly believe against it. I go to therapy soon within the next couple months I hope, and I just want to be better. But I feel like I can't control my thoughts as well.

[fabledtongues]

27 views but only one reply? Please guys I need help :/

[jesikahlaine]

I'm sorry about your situation. I hope you get better as well. See, I want to take medication but I'm so scared and my parents strongly believe against it. I go to therapy soon within the next couple months I hope, and I just want to be better. But I feel like I can't control my thoughts as well.

I was petrified to take even a panadol when all this anxiety hit. Taking these meds was so scary & the first few days were pretty nasty (so i take them at night so i sleep thru them altho everyone is different).
Sucks ur parents dont want u to. But at the end of the day its u who is suffering. U clearly need some help & they should be supporting u & anything u want to do. Maybe tell them this. I done 2 sessions of therapy once a week & it did change my perspective but it didnt change my obsessive way of thinking becoz it takes time. Im no dr & new to all this but maybe there is another underlying problem with ur anxiety such as bi polar (plz dont think u do i dont know the symptoms only using an example. Or possible OCD thoughts which i do suffer from).
I was exactly like u i wanted a quick fix & i wanted it now. But everything takes time. Even meds. !

[andy2013]

As the philosopher Rene Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am".

I have the same existential anxiety that you describe in your original post. In fact, we are not alone in this line of thinking. You just have an inquisitive mind; a thinker. Many philosophers have pondered the same questions and fears you and I have for thousands of years.

To be brutally honest, I think your current religion and spiritual line of thinking is seriously holding you back in terms of answering the questions you seek answers to. This religious line of thinking really restricts the possibilities, and tries to simplify the unknown. It is okay to not know everything.

Remember, you're not 'going crazy'. The anxiety really messes with your brain, and sorta takes control for a little. I would recommend meditation to help existential anxiety. My goal of it is to live in the elusive and fleeting 'now'. The past is gone, and the future is uncertain.

I apologize if any of this sounds harsh, because I'm not intending to scare you. I care about your anxieties the same as mine and everyone else.

[andy2013]

I also forgot to include: don't put so much pressure on yourself. This pressure is creating unnecessary stress for you right now. This leads me to believe it could be a contributing factor to your derealization and anxiety.

[locksey]

I really hate this, it controls my life. I got the worst end of anxiety. People usually have anxiety over the jobs, performance or something mundane, but I got the end of the stick where I constantly have derealization and I'm convinced I'm going crazy or the world isn't real.

I've had my anxiety for six months now and I am paralyzed by my anxiety. It's gotten worse and worse each month. This has been the worst.

I've started questioning my existence and the world's existence. I don't even know... why? Why do I think this stuff? It's seriously not healthy because of my horrible derealization. It gets so bad that if I try to tell myself to do something to shake my mind of the thought, I go "Why, the world isn't real anyway." It's so scary no one understands... My derealization is so bad that even regular conversation and everyday events scare me. It's truly frightening and I don't know I do it.

On top of that, I am convinced I'm going crazy. I think thoughts no normal person thinks. I think the world isn't real for some reason.

And my last problem is my religion... I am religious but with my anxiety it seems like it's pulling me away from God instead of pulling me closer. Because of my derealization I question if God is real. It scares me to no end. I love God and I want to serve Him but my anxiety is inhibiting me. Why is He letting this happen?

I feel like if this continues I will literally go crazy and have to institutionalized... I'm so scared and don't know what to do.


I'm just out at the mo but I wil send u a msg later... Sort ov go thru a bit like that and I also go church

[fabledtongues]

As the philosopher Rene Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am".

I have the same existential anxiety that you describe in your original post. In fact, we are not alone in this line of thinking. You just have an inquisitive mind; a thinker. Many philosophers have pondered the same questions and fears you and I have for thousands of years.

To be brutally honest, I think your current religion and spiritual line of thinking is seriously holding you back in terms of answering the questions you seek answers to. This religious line of thinking really restricts the possibilities, and tries to simplify the unknown. It is okay to not know everything.

Remember, you're not 'going crazy'. The anxiety really messes with your brain, and sorta takes control for a little. I would recommend meditation to help existential anxiety. My goal of it is to live in the elusive and fleeting 'now'. The past is gone, and the future is uncertain.

I apologize if any of this sounds harsh, because I'm not intending to scare you. I care about your anxieties the same as mine and everyone else.

Yeah I know I'm a thinker, but I just get so terrified by my thinking and it just grows and grows until I think I'm certainly going crazy though I know I'm not. It's just it plagues me so badly that I can't seem to get a break from it. It absolutely sucks. I am getting help soon, therapy and medication, and I'm praying it helps.

And listen, my religion is my rock. There's no way I can stray from it. The faith I have is just enough to keep me hanging on sometimes. I just know God works in mysterious ways but I wish he wouldn't work this mysteriously...

I tried meditation, I didn't find it calming.

Thank you for your words though. They helped. I hope the best for you too.

[jessed03]

And listen, my religion is my rock. There's no way I can stray from it. The faith I have is just enough to keep me hanging on sometimes. I just know God works in mysterious ways but I wish he wouldn't work this mysteriously...


I'm not what you would call a typical Christian. I have some beliefs in some spirituality, and a greater power etc, but they don't really fit into any type of organized religion. So what I'm telling you here is the truth, and not somebody trying to reassure you and protect your religious beliefs.

You have doubts like you do, because you really love God... Point, blank, period, shut the book. The reason the de realization makes you doubt whether God is real, is because anxiety hits you where it hurts the most. And this is your weak spot. You love God, and want to serve God, so anxiety knows if it hits you here, it will debilitate you.

So why would God bring you here? Who know's right? Who can second guess the big guy. All I know, is that it is only through great pain, and great suffering, that we get to look inside of ourselves. We don't get that through peace and pleasure. Maybe God just wants you to take a quick look around, so you can come back stronger, and more secure. So you know what the taste of bitterness is like, meaning you will take for granted the sweetness. I read a quote once, that said "We look to God when our foundations are shaking, only to find out that it is God who is shaking them"


Yeah I know I'm a thinker, but I just get so terrified by my thinking and it just grows and grows until I think I'm certainly going crazy though I know I'm not.

This part is very, very reassuring to you. Sure, none of us like knowing we have an obvious problem, but at least your problem is obvious to everyone. You could have anxiety over nothing, caused by nothing, and sit scratching your head wondering what to do. But you have an issue, you know where the juice that gets your anxiety running is coming from. With help from your therapist, you are really going to get these under control, and minimize your anxiety, I'm pretty much sure. Throw in the medication, and you have a really good action plan.

Keep up with some relaxation practices. If you don't find meditation relaxing, try some relaxing prayer (if you don't already), and some Progressive Muscle Relaxation (Google it). It may not make you feel better at first, but persist with it. Your mind has to learn to calm down. Right now it's like it's been given 10 cups of coffee, and told to sit quietly... All it wants to do it run, and jump, and be hyperactive.

It may get worse before it gets better, but reading all of your posts, I am extremely confident for your future. If you aren't feeling a lot better than you are now, come back in a year, and I'll give $25 to charity as a forefeit :)

[fabledtongues]

^ I can't quote that cause its so large and I'm on my phone so ill do it here.

But yeah, that makes sense. I feel like God is giving me a challenge, and I'm trying to work through it. I beg him for reassurance and help and to carry my burden like He says He will but nothing ever happens. I try so hard to keep on to Him, but it just seems like I'm falling away because of my anxiety. I want to serve him but with anxiety I can't as much as I want. But without God, my anxiety doesn't get better. It's a cycle I wish I knew why it is happening.

But how is it reassuring when I feel like I'm inches away from insanity? Because that's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of becoming crazy and never living a full life like I want. To be institutionalized and never know the love of a husband or children... It literally scares to where I break down and I feel like my mind is taking over. I just want it to be over. I don't go to the physcologist for a good few months and who knows if I'll even start medication... I don't wanna live like this anymore, I want to get better. I know it's not a snap your fingers and it's gone kind of thing but I've been struggling so long, I'd like to live a day where I don't think a single thought of "I'm going crazy for sure" "I'll never be happy again" or doing things I love because I'm not scared to do them anymore.