RedVelvet
03-18-2013, 03:28 PM
hello everyone
this is my first time posting or even being on a forum for people who suffer like I do. I guess it never occurred to me that there would be one.
This incident in and of itself is probably not the worst thing you've ever heard but it feels so monstrous to me and its just another episode of similar things I've dealt with for the past few years
The last I would say 3 to 4 weeks I completely dropped off the face of the earth. I'm in college so this means I've been missing exams, papers.. I'm already on thin ice for having worse semesters of severe depression and withdrew many times. This time I went to the doctor and asked for some medicine and I'm hopeful. I've been off for a long time
I'm just very ashamed that I need to approach teachers again, to explain. Ashamed that I should go back to the therapy which I abruptly quit a year ago because I was tired of hearing myself talk. I've even been doing things to shock myself out of feeling this way, its fluctuation of a lot of anxiety or just so much apathy.
My life is just very much out of control. If you visit my home you can see it. finances, body, responsibilities, everything. When I have the energy to fix it like I think I do now, its just SO overwhelming, I don't know where to start.
I'm close with my mom but she doesn't understand. She's said some things to me, I know she doesn't mean ill but I'm just not ever going to mention 'my condition' again (I live on my own)
What do you do when you're trying to pick up the pieces?
Sorry for the long post..
this is my first time posting or even being on a forum for people who suffer like I do. I guess it never occurred to me that there would be one.
This incident in and of itself is probably not the worst thing you've ever heard but it feels so monstrous to me and its just another episode of similar things I've dealt with for the past few years
The last I would say 3 to 4 weeks I completely dropped off the face of the earth. I'm in college so this means I've been missing exams, papers.. I'm already on thin ice for having worse semesters of severe depression and withdrew many times. This time I went to the doctor and asked for some medicine and I'm hopeful. I've been off for a long time
I'm just very ashamed that I need to approach teachers again, to explain. Ashamed that I should go back to the therapy which I abruptly quit a year ago because I was tired of hearing myself talk. I've even been doing things to shock myself out of feeling this way, its fluctuation of a lot of anxiety or just so much apathy.
My life is just very much out of control. If you visit my home you can see it. finances, body, responsibilities, everything. When I have the energy to fix it like I think I do now, its just SO overwhelming, I don't know where to start.
I'm close with my mom but she doesn't understand. She's said some things to me, I know she doesn't mean ill but I'm just not ever going to mention 'my condition' again (I live on my own)
What do you do when you're trying to pick up the pieces?
Sorry for the long post..