Having a bad day

[mellymel]

I have taken on new scary thoughts, and they are really bothering me. I read about thoughts that schizophrenics have, and since then, I have the random thoughts pass through my head even though I don't believe them. Like I was undressing last night and when I looked up to take my shirt off the ac vent was above my head...I thought, what is someone was in there...obviously I know this is not true. If in not slowly losing my mind why do I have these thoughts? I'm really scared. I'm having a hard time calming down and my anxiety is through the roof. I have been this way since last night.

[sazco]

Why are you looking up what schitzophrenics think?

[mellymel]

I have been afraid of having it for a while now. And so I looked it up to see if I had the symptoms

[sazco]

I did that and my anxiety went theough the roof but it was because of anxiety that i thought i had that in the first place lol. Im really not trying to be mean but when i had anxiety i did stuff like that and made it worse, so i dont think u should be looking those symptoms up friend. youll scare yourself. :(

[mellymel]

I'm freaking out so bad. It's not normal to have Delusional thoughts :(

[sazco]

I feel terrible because I know how you feel. But last night I was reading a quote someone said about how even if you feel it, it doesn't mean it's there. I wanna see you get better, not go delusional. :( Lifes so short, we all need to enjoy what we can. So Melly please don't look up anything that could potentially scare you later on in the day or week. :(

[mellymel]

I know :( I just get so scared that I look things up in hopes to find answers to why I'm thinking this way. I feel like a creep. I am terrified of losing my mind and these thoughts feel like they are proving it right. And I have thoughts like this all the time :(

[NixonRulz]

Mel - Stop doing the Google

Anxious stae of mind = irrational fears

I don't even think that is so irrational. I think as goofy as people are these, I can see asking yourself that question

Take me for example, If I don't close all my blinds at night, I get a small crowd of women trying to see in. LOL

You are so not shyzophrenic. Anxious, yes.

I would ask you this as well. Since you are an anxious person and as anxious people, we think that we have everthing we google, why aren't you convinced you have it?

How many more websites will it take you to realize you are not crazy? And your anxiety cannot fester into schyzophrenia.

[mellymel]

Mel - Stop doing the Google

Anxious stae of mind = irrational fears

I don't even think that is so irrational. I think as goofy as people are these, I can see asking yourself that question

Take me for example, If I don't close all my blinds at night, I get a small crowd of women trying to see in. LOL

You are so not shyzophrenic. Anxious, yes.

I would ask you this as well. Since you are an anxious person and as anxious people, we think that we have everthing we google, why aren't you convinced you have it?

How many more websites will it take you to realize you are not crazy? And your anxiety cannot fester into schyzophrenia.

I know and I realize all this. But when I think I'm fine and I have a grip on it, one of these crazy thoughts pop in my head, followed by weird feelings I can't explain. I have had so many violent obsessions, mild hallucinations, and now these paranoid thoughts that it feels like more then anxiety. I just don't know how to handle it when I start to feel like this and right now I'm at a low point. I'm just crying and sobbing as I'm typing.

[sazco]

I know :( I just get so scared that I look things up in hopes to find answers to why I'm thinking this way. I feel like a creep. I am terrified of losing my mind and these thoughts feel like they are proving it right. And I have thoughts like this all the time :(

Well this is how my cousin is, he's told me the same thing, when's the next time you can talk to a doctor? Will making an appointment make you feel any better for the time being?

[mellymel]

What's wrong with your cousin? And I go back to my doc on the 19th

[mellymel]

I meant the 29th

[sazco]

Well good thing that's soon! Hopefully everything works out before then. He's afraid because his father has schizophrenia he has it too and obsesses over it to the point where he drives him crazy.... but I don't think he has it.

[mellymel]

Oh ok. I am in therapy already and have seen a 3 different doctors, none of which think I'm in psychosis...but of course I'm still convinced I'm nuts. Every week it's something new. I just want this to go away. Thanks for talking to me.

[sazco]

Oh ok. I am in therapy already and have seen a 3 different doctors, none of which think I'm in psychosis...but of course I'm still convinced I'm nuts. Every week it's something new. I just want this to go away. Thanks for talking to me.

No problem but tbh, that's how I was before I got on my pills. Now I don't worry about much besides the normal things in life...
Before I used to have my guard up ready to fight 24/7.

[sazco]

i just hope you relax and start feeling better for today, not worth worrying so much days go by fast

[mellymel]

I know, I have a beautiful daughter that I just want to enjoy life with, but this shit gets in way. What meds r u on? And were you worried about the same thing as me or something else?

[sazco]

I understand that! Everything and anything I used to be afraid of, I slept for maybe 5 hours max daily. My heart rate was off the charts 24/7 and I had no answers and really just wanted to end it. I would cry daily I was that scared of people, noises, my thoughts, family, friends, facebook, work, school, driving, everything and what they were thiking.

I'm on:
Propanolol
Paxil 60MG
Clonazepam (i only take as needed, 0.5 if im having a realllyyyyy bad day)
And amitryptylin everyday at bed time for my insomnia.

I'm pretty much anxiety free, I just have trouble sleeping. I'm extremely lucky.,

I have hypertension so the propanolol is for anxiety and my heart (the doc says)

[mellymel]

I understand that! Everything and anything I used to be afraid of, I slept for maybe 5 hours max daily. My heart rate was off the charts 24/7 and I had no answers and really just wanted to end it. I would cry daily I was that scared of people, noises, my thoughts, family, friends, facebook, work, school, driving, everything and what they were thiking.

I'm on:
Propanolol
Paxil 60MG
Clonazepam (i only take as needed, 0.5 if im having a realllyyyyy bad day)
And amitryptylin everyday at bed time for my insomnia.

I'm pretty much anxiety free, I just have trouble sleeping. I'm extremely lucky.,

I have hypertension so the propanolol is for anxiety and my heart (the doc says)

I have clonazapam too for as needed,
They really work good.

[honey]

Hi melly im not trying to make you feel bad but that was the worstest thing you could of done. Im also scared of loosing my mind or going crazy so when ever i see anything about crazy ppl i refuse to read it, the other day i watched the news and they where speaking about a crazy person who done something bad and i got so freaked out, so if that can scare me reading up about it would scare me even more.

All i can say is find ways to distract your self, when you feel scared call a freind an talk about something but dont talk about being scared, and maybe when you have these scary thoughts try and think of them as being neither a good or bad thought and see if that helps. But i do advise not to read anymore stuff about crazy ppl.

[jamus75]

You are not schizo. You have anxiety. You have hypochondria just like most of us here. Mine is focused on my physical health while yours is focused on mental health. Also. It's the " what if ?" Thinking that is causing your issues. What if there is a guy in the vents. So u visualize it.

[jamus75]

Another side effect of anxiety is paranoia and OCD. If I look out the window at night and are scared someone could be out there then my mind will find a way to make something out of nothing. Remember when u was a kid and you would see a shadow of a tree in your room at night and swear it was the boogeyman? Same thing anxiety does. I don't think you're crazy as most people don't realize it. They think that it's normal and don't worry about it.

[mellymel]

Another side effect of anxiety is paranoia and OCD. If I look out the window at night and are scared someone could be out there then my mind will find a way to make something out of nothing. Remember when u was a kid and you would see a shadow of a tree in your room at night and swear it was the boogeyman? Same thing anxiety does. I don't think you're crazy as most people don't realize it. They think that it's normal and don't worry about it.

It sounds so logical when someone else tells me. But when I'm thinking it, it seems so real. It's been all I could think of all day. And yes I do that all the time, the thing you mentioned about the boogeyman. Something will catch my eye from corner and I know it's nothing but the curtain for example, but my mind will think of it looking like a person even though I know it's not. Then I get all these other weird thoughts that make no sense like a person in the vent lol, it's only as round as a basketball so that's impossible anyways. So, naturally I'm gonna think maybe it's me being paranoid. I have googled so much stuff today that between the thoughts in my head and the Internet, I'm a wreck.

[jamus75]

Lol don't google. I said before that if u google or webmd headache then u will get a thousand things that can cause a headache. Just about every known medical issue can carry a headache but 99% of the time it's just a headache.

[Rob_Bent12]

I just joined this forum. I've been reading your posts and it seems like many of you may have experienced a lot of the same symptoms I suffer from. Quick question; did you ever feel like you were disconnected from reality. Like you were floating in addition to being anxious? I'm Rob by the way. Thanks in advance. Look forward to hearing what you have to say.

[mellymel]

I just joined this forum. I've been reading your posts and it seems like many of you may have experienced a lot of the same symptoms I suffer from. Quick question; did you ever feel like you were disconnected from reality. Like you were floating in addition to being anxious? I'm Rob by the way. Thanks in advance. Look forward to hearing what you have to say.

Hi Rob, yes I have had that feeling before. What's troubling you?

[mellymel]

Lol don't google. I said before that if u google or webmd headache then u will get a thousand things that can cause a headache. Just about every known medical issue can carry a headache but 99% of the time it's just a headache.

You are 110 % right! I can go weeks without googling and then a weird thing will happen to me and I'm off to the Internet. It's like I just can't stop when I get in these moods.

[jamus75]

I can tell u that googling symptoms will in no way help u. It won't diagnose anything because of the vast amount of info on the web. You would never be able to single it down to one thing even if you tried all day long. There will always be 10 more things it could be. Believe me, I know from experience and know better now. I try not to look to google for anything medical for me or my kids because its just not a reliable answer. Call a ER nurse at a hospital or if u have health insurance most of them have medical advise help lines. These are not accurate either but are far better than google. At least the answer u get will have some kind of base knowledge to it.

[mellymel]

I can tell u that googling symptoms will in no way help u. It won't diagnose anything because of the vast amount of info on the web. You would never be able to single it down to one thing even if you tried all day long. There will always be 10 more things it could be. Believe me, I know from experience and know better now. I try not to look to google for anything medical for me or my kids because its just not a reliable answer. Call a ER nurse at a hospital or if u have health insurance most of them have medical advise help lines. These are not accurate either but are far better than google. At least the answer u get will have some kind of base knowledge to it.

I remember one time I looked something up that my daughter was experiencing, well before I took her to the doc I had her diagnosed with something that she did not have. I was so worked up because I thought she would need surgery and stuff. Needless to say, I was wrong and I still haven't learned my lesson. My husband said he is going to disconnect the Internet lol.

[Jay1985]

My doctor said once to me "time to unplug the Internet"

I haven't googled since

[jamus75]

Lol. Yeah. I hear ya

[Rob_Bent12]

What's up Mel. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for over 15 years. I recently stop taking clonazepam and the feeling I'm left with is intense. On top of being anxious and scared, I'm starting to feel that disconnected feeling. Feels like you're losing your mind or something.just wanted to know how anybody else delt with it. Just looking for some relief from the shit until I can see my doctor.

[mellymel]

What's up Mel. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for over 15 years. I recently stop taking clonazepam and the feeling I'm left with is intense. On top of being anxious and scared, I'm starting to feel that disconnected feeling. Feels like you're losing your mind or something.just wanted to know how anybody else delt with it. Just looking for some relief from the shit until I can see my doctor.

Nice to meet you :) how long and how often we're you taking clonazepam ? I can tell you that when I get that feeling of disassociation I just let it wash over me like a wave. I don't fight it, I just let it do its thing. It's very uncomfortable though. Sometimes I will give my daughter a hug, the physical contact brings me back to the moment. There are also techniques my doc told me about, like running your hands under cold water or focusing on a physical feeling, like the feeling of sitting on a chair.

[scared44]

I have taken on new scary thoughts, and they are really bothering me. I read about thoughts that schizophrenics have, and since then, I have the random thoughts pass through my head even though I don't believe them. Like I was undressing last night and when I looked up to take my shirt off the ac vent was above my head...I thought, what is someone was in there...obviously I know this is not true. If in not slowly losing my mind why do I have these thoughts? I'm really scared. I'm having a hard time calming down and my anxiety is through the roof. I have been this way since last night.

Sorry your having a hard time but you have to stop using google to look up symptoms ect!! As others have said also. Its all anxiety nothing more and nothing less!! Hope you get your anxiety under control....Do you see a pshyc dr are you on meds?? Even cbt would be a good step for you. Have a great day and remember anxiety doesnt kill.....;-)