Just wanted to say hello...

[thenightsky]

Hello, I'm Charlotte and I'm 17 years old. I live in the UK and suffer panic disorder and social anxiety. I suffered for years without getting any help or telling anyone about my problems. My panic disorder has become a lot more manageable now that I have been prescribed medication. I was only prescribed my medication in August last year, but I have suffered panic disorder for many years. For years it left me unable to travel comfortably by any form of transport, sit amongst or stand amongst large crowds, or present or talk infront of class mates. Last year it escalated dramatically, and by July last year I was becoming unable to even perform daily tasks such as having a bath or shower. I would be too frightened in case I panicked and ran out, making a fool out of myself. I also was only getting around 1 hours sleep each night. I hardly had any sleep for 2 weeks, until I crumbled and realised I needed to get some courage and get help. For example in cars I would be sitting on the edge of my seat, heart racing and becoming light headed, afraid that I would panic and would have no way of escaping out of the car. However, I'm still suffering from my social anxiety. It's very bad, and I'm really struggling. I decided to join this forum in order to find people like me...who can understand what it is like to have these problems. Nobody I talk to seems to understand just how hard it is to cope with these problems. I feel like I'm not worth it anymore. I can't do interviews because my mind is riddled with worries so I'm worried I won't become employed or get the job that I want. My mind seems to boggle when I talk to people and I become so worried I don't know what to say. I'm worried that I'll be left with no friends and no boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend before and I'm losing hope that I'll ever find someone because of my nerves. I'm not myself anymore. And I miss who I was before I had all these problems. All I want is to be my old self again and to be comfortable in my daily life. The strange thing about my anxiety is that once I feel I've conquered one problem, another one seems to appear straight away....and I'm unhappy again. I miss laughing and joking, and feeling care-free. I hope I can talk to people who've had the same experiences on here....and I hope to get advice on medications. I know that I'm not on the right medication. I can feel it in my gut. It's sorted 1/2 problems but it's not sorted me out completely. There's got to be something out there. So yes, hi and nice to meet you all.

[jessed03]

Hey Charlotte!

A few interesting things in your post.

Firstly; Well done on getting the help you need. Just taking that first step is hard. It's not an easy thing to do, to admit you need help. I'm glad you're at least beginning on your path to recovery.

Secondly; You are suffering from a lot of things that you can remove. Worries about finding a partner, worries about getting better, worries about what happens during interviews. These are all going to be heard by your body. You will then look for any evidence that proves your suspicions, and this makes you feel worse. As you can see, this could go on and on, until you feel REALLY awful, and hopeless. Worries can become self-sulfilling prophecies. Have you had any CBT therapy? It's free in the UK. You can also buy books on it on Amazon for very cheap. It's very easy to learn too, and extremely effective.

Thirdly; You say that once you overcome one problem, another takes it's place - This is because the root of anxiety hasn't been removed. You still have an over-hyped nervous system, which will take some time to calm down, and more importantly, you may not have learnt the subtle ways in which anxiety works. It follows a formula, but we are usually too busy looking at the problem, and not the cause. We are often too busy looking at the sensations in our body, or the problem we are facing (i.e. worrying about what will happen), rather than noticing the formula that anxiety is following in order to scare us. The good news, is once you learn this formula, and have a great understanding of how it works, you'll notice the patterns it takes on, and you won't be fooled by them. Anxiety is all a big bluff :)

Forthly; What makes you believe you are on the wrong medication? If you feel strongly about it, you should switch! There are hundreds of them around now, don't sit and suffer when the medication isn't working!

Fifthly; Use paragraphs, it makes it easier to read :) hehe

If you want some more information, you can send me a personal message, and I'll send you an ebook that may help. I could also recommend some good reading material. The anxiety and phobia workbook is very good. You can also Google Claire Weeks. Her books are usually the most highly recommended on this forum.

Sixthly; Welcome!! It's very nice to meet you, I hope you can push your recovery forward in the coming weeks and months! :)

[thenightsky]

Hello, thankyou very much for your reply ^_^ Of course I would love to read anything that you can recommend to me as I'm more determined that ever to get rid of this anxiety once and for all. I have had the anxiety and phobia work book for a couple of years now. I've read stuff that applies to me, but reading things and talking about things don't seem to have much of an affect on me... I think it's because I left it too late, and it's escalated and escalated, and I don't feel able to get rid of these problems on my own. I'm thinking of going back to my psychiatrist and discussing other medication. I've been holding back from arranging another appointment because I get very embarassed having to tell him about my problems. I feel ridiculous having to talk about these things that are caused by my own mind when people are suffering from life threatening diseases and suffer so badly. That's what gets me down, and annoys me more. The whole thing seems ridiculous to me, but no matter how hard I try I can not physically get rid of the thoughts that I am having and they are preventing me from living a normal life. It's gone on for so many years so I've got to put my foot down and put a stop to it as I know it will only get worse and worse. I will still read what I can and try to change my train of thought, even though I'm pretty sure it won't work. However I am greatful for any help that's being offered to me. Thankyou for the warm welcome :D

[jessed03]

even though I'm pretty sure it won't work.

That's one thought you need to work on changing :D

Have you done much CBT? Any real sessions with a therapist?

[thenightsky]

Have you done much CBT? Any real sessions with a therapist?

Yup. I had therapy with a psychologist last year, which lasted pretty much for the whole year. When I realised that it wasn't doing anything for me, I got a referral to see the psychiatrist. :)