Ants23
03-12-2013, 11:57 AM
I want to start off by saying that I have never been happy with any medical doctor I have seen. I have been to multiple doctors for the same reasons, and left with different diagnoses. I say this because of my following story.
One morning, at the age of 25, I woke up feeling ill. Achy and tired. I felt I might be sick, so I went to a doctor. After tests he found nothing wrong, and said to take an asperin. A couple days later I still felt ill, and started to worry about it, so I went back. He still found nothing wrong. Now I started to worry that I had a bad illness and he wasn't looking for it. So I went to the ER. They found nothing wrong. I will cut this part short, and say that during that episode, I made 3 ER visits, 3 visits with this doctor, and 2 with a new doctor. All of which found nothing wrong. But this time I was convinced that I was dying from some unknown and mysterious illness, and that I should get my affairs in order. The last doctor I saw brought up psychological issues, and after giving that some thought, I saw a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with OCD, and gave me some pills. I took those pills for about a week, all while being sure I was dying, and my condition and ailments becoming worse every day. I finally had had enough, and swallowed the entire bottle of pills. I was rushed to the hospital, where they kept me for psychological care. After being on whatever meds they put me on, I got better. I eventually weaned myself off the pills because I didn't like the thought of needing "crazy" pills. I was fine for about 4 years, when suddenly one morning, I woke up feeling ill. I remember it was more of a stuffy/allergy feeling. But.. my mind warned me that it could be allergies, or it could be something a lot more serious. After researching online, I became certain that I had a brain tumor. There begins my multiple trips to doctors insisting on brain scans. And when they show nothing, I become certain that the serious illness I have is so bad that it is hidden from regular scans. This eventually passed, and it passes from one night to the next, but after about a month of this nightmare. I get this about every 2 to 4 years. I am now going through another one. I woke up with a pink mark on my face. Could be anything. So I sat and thought I better look it up and see what it is so that I can tell the doctor. As I look at articles with red marks on face, I of course run into many conditions. As I read the most horrible ones, I see symptoms such as bone pain, eye blurriness, headaches. Not a day later, I have all these symptoms. I tell myself that it is obvious that I am only believing these symptoms are real since they come from reading it, but my mind still thinks its real, and I feel ill. I went to see a dermatologist, who quickly looked at me and dismissed it as nothing but some rosacea (a blushing problem). I let there furious believing that she didn't care to really diagnose me.
I have been married for 20 years and have 2 children. They have had to live with me and my psychosis this whole time. They have no choice but to believe that maybe I am sick, since I never really discuss the possibility of a psychological problem at home. It was after just today speaking to a friend with a psych degree that something conclusive came about. She said that I fit a certain condition to a tee. That condition is Somatization disorder. I will link info here, but for anyone who my story above reminds them of yourselves, read the info on that condition, you will feel better. When I am feeling good, I may get a slight pain in the elbow or somewhere else, and I will immediately dismiss it as nothing, or may not even notice it at all. But when I am in the midst of an episode, that same little pain will be super enlarged, and will lead to the belief that I have other pains. I hope this story and link will help others like me cope, and like me, eventually seek help.
ok, I don't have enough points to post links, but look at the Minddisorders dot com site then go to Somatization Disorder
One morning, at the age of 25, I woke up feeling ill. Achy and tired. I felt I might be sick, so I went to a doctor. After tests he found nothing wrong, and said to take an asperin. A couple days later I still felt ill, and started to worry about it, so I went back. He still found nothing wrong. Now I started to worry that I had a bad illness and he wasn't looking for it. So I went to the ER. They found nothing wrong. I will cut this part short, and say that during that episode, I made 3 ER visits, 3 visits with this doctor, and 2 with a new doctor. All of which found nothing wrong. But this time I was convinced that I was dying from some unknown and mysterious illness, and that I should get my affairs in order. The last doctor I saw brought up psychological issues, and after giving that some thought, I saw a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with OCD, and gave me some pills. I took those pills for about a week, all while being sure I was dying, and my condition and ailments becoming worse every day. I finally had had enough, and swallowed the entire bottle of pills. I was rushed to the hospital, where they kept me for psychological care. After being on whatever meds they put me on, I got better. I eventually weaned myself off the pills because I didn't like the thought of needing "crazy" pills. I was fine for about 4 years, when suddenly one morning, I woke up feeling ill. I remember it was more of a stuffy/allergy feeling. But.. my mind warned me that it could be allergies, or it could be something a lot more serious. After researching online, I became certain that I had a brain tumor. There begins my multiple trips to doctors insisting on brain scans. And when they show nothing, I become certain that the serious illness I have is so bad that it is hidden from regular scans. This eventually passed, and it passes from one night to the next, but after about a month of this nightmare. I get this about every 2 to 4 years. I am now going through another one. I woke up with a pink mark on my face. Could be anything. So I sat and thought I better look it up and see what it is so that I can tell the doctor. As I look at articles with red marks on face, I of course run into many conditions. As I read the most horrible ones, I see symptoms such as bone pain, eye blurriness, headaches. Not a day later, I have all these symptoms. I tell myself that it is obvious that I am only believing these symptoms are real since they come from reading it, but my mind still thinks its real, and I feel ill. I went to see a dermatologist, who quickly looked at me and dismissed it as nothing but some rosacea (a blushing problem). I let there furious believing that she didn't care to really diagnose me.
I have been married for 20 years and have 2 children. They have had to live with me and my psychosis this whole time. They have no choice but to believe that maybe I am sick, since I never really discuss the possibility of a psychological problem at home. It was after just today speaking to a friend with a psych degree that something conclusive came about. She said that I fit a certain condition to a tee. That condition is Somatization disorder. I will link info here, but for anyone who my story above reminds them of yourselves, read the info on that condition, you will feel better. When I am feeling good, I may get a slight pain in the elbow or somewhere else, and I will immediately dismiss it as nothing, or may not even notice it at all. But when I am in the midst of an episode, that same little pain will be super enlarged, and will lead to the belief that I have other pains. I hope this story and link will help others like me cope, and like me, eventually seek help.
ok, I don't have enough points to post links, but look at the Minddisorders dot com site then go to Somatization Disorder