Open spaces

[katieattenborough]

My agoraphobia isn't life threatening, as i still leave my house everyday, some days i'm fine others i feel so low. Some days i wake up feeling so anxious and nervous about leaving the house? but why? i have no reason to be anxious or worried. its like i feel like something bad is going to happen to me.

i think the whole anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia started off from being heart broken for about a good year and a half. I cried every day/night, felt so low/ depressed, lost all my confidence, never thought my life would be great again if he wasnt in it. I thought i'll only be happy if hes in my life. Eventually it got better, they say time is the best way to move on. I'm much better now and also with someone else now, who im very happy with. However, i first suffered my first very mild panic attack about a year and half a go, it came out of no where, scared me, as i didnt know what it was and couldnt understand why i got it. But now i think it could be to do with the heart break, as you bottle your emotions for so long, you just explode, and i think thats triggered my anxiety.

After that first mild attack, i had a few after which was quite bad, but then it went away

However nearly a year ago i had my first proper hard panic attack on the plane coming home. Even though ive been flying all my life which i couldnt understand!
But it was horrible and then a few weeks i went on holiday again and the plane journey was horirble i was crying through most of it and just wanted to get off, however unfortunately when i was away on holiday for two weeks the first week near the end i had another panic attack for no reason why this then ruined the whole holiday hardly left the hotel room scrying every night, scared to look at the sky espically clear blue skys they were the worst i couldnt sun bath as it tripped me out so much on the way home i was so anxous getting the plane i wasnt that bad on the way back because i knew i was going home

however a month later it got to the point where i was scard to leave the house, get buses, trains, get in the car i was scard and get them feelings that i did on the plane and holiday having the fear of open spaces the blue sky

i now get really weird sensations in my legs when they feel like their not safe and not on the ground like they did on the plane

even space and the earth makes me so anxious cus i feel like the earth could drop and that makes me anxious but the feelings in my legs are ruining my life
i need life
i want this to all go away im only 19 and i dont want my life ruined by this HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alankay]

Have you been to a doc or therapist yet? Alankay

[katieattenborough]

Ive been twice about it but i dont feel like they properley understand (docotrs) prescribed on two types of medication each time i went but didnt really work. i dont want to be relying on medication for the rest of my life as that isnt right and doesnt help in the long run. and tbh im scared for therapy in denial that im suffering badly. i mean these sensations in my legs? i dont get it ????????

[honey]

Hi katie, i think the same thing started my anxiety as well being really scared about having an operation, prior to that i was deeply sad and depressed about the break up with my bf and cried alot to myself. Your quite young and although its hard it should be easier for you to get better.

The best advice i can give you, which you may not like is 'acceptance' you have to accept that you are unfortunatley going this and although i dont want to say this i think most people who suffer with anxiety/agoraphobia will always have this annoying condition. BUT we can learn to cope with it, to the point where it becomes annoying and no longer scary and more easier to manage. I was in denial about anxiety and researched daily about my symptoms but ive just accepted that i now have anxiety and have good an bad days, my main focus is to keep those good days for longer.

Also your lucky that you can go on a plane, before my anxiety i went on holiday afew times, but now since this stupid anxiety im terrfied to go on a plane, for fear of getting to the country and freaking out and not getting proper medical help.

[katieattenborough]

Hi, thankyou replying.

Its such a horrible feeling isnt it, thinking that its just taking over your life and thinking it will last forever. Ive been in denial for so long that i suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and realised i do need to seek professional help. Ive heard cognitive therapy is really good.

I just want it to go away and never come back, i cant do half the things i used which is horrible.

If someone asked me to get a plane id laugh in their face, i dont think i ever could and go to a different country where its not safe and where like you said dont think you can see professional help. It makes me feel better that im not alone in this. I think breakups are the worst thing ever and they can be the main cause of your anxiety because it links with depression